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At an impasse

Kyuun February 1st, 2023

I am in a situation where I know I have a problem. I have known I've had a problem for years. I know I do it to myself. All I need to do is start making the wise choice. I am very isolated with no support structure, and I live in Japan, so getting professional help is difficult due to the language barrier.


However much knowledge I have about costs and benefits, urges, thoughts etc. I still choose suffering over freedom nearly every day.


I guess what I am asking is for advice on how to make myself want to make the sensible choice.


I am dysthymic, have chronic stress and anxiety, and I'm pretty sure I have quiet self sabotaging BPD if that helps.

18
quietCurrent4162 February 1st, 2023

@Kyuun I'm sorry about what you're going through. I don't really have any good advice, but I hope it gets better for you ❤️.

Regardless, you should still try to get help though. There's probably a better chance that a professional will be able to help you sort through your emotions and stuff. Take care

1 reply
Kyuun OP February 1st, 2023

@quietCurrent4162 thanks for the support, I'll keep trying.

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walkalot February 1st, 2023

What kind of choices you want to make

5 replies
Kyuun OP February 1st, 2023

@walkalot I want to be able to choose abstinence.

4 replies
walkalot February 2nd, 2023

@Kyuun

as opposed to what

3 replies
Kyuun OP February 2nd, 2023

@walkalot as opposed to drinking beer on my own every night and further ruining my life.

2 replies
walkalot February 2nd, 2023

@Kyuun

you struggle with alcohol addiction?

1 reply
Kyuun OP February 3rd, 2023

@walkalot yes, unfortunately I do.

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walkalot February 5th, 2023

Kuun, you should try to get help. Find a listener so can support you V during this time, find an AA group, and see if you have other friends who are going through the same journey. Then you will have the social support that will help you to overcome this problem

1 reply
Kyuun OP February 6th, 2023

@walkalot thanks for the advice. You are absolutely right. I have started with Smart Recovery, and Recovery Dharma. I have trouble attending the meetings because of the time difference though. I am on here to try and change my mindset and give me a better chance of success.

Unfortunately with my mental health problems, I don't really have any friends, and definitely none in the same situation as me. I am committed to recovering and will keep moving forward.

1 reply
walkalot February 6th, 2023

@Kyuun

why are you living in a different country

1 reply
Kyuun OP February 11th, 2023

@walkalot adventure, dislike of the UK, not being a burden on my family. I am happier here than at home. I just need help, but I have done such a good job of isolating myself, I don't know how to connect in a meaningful way anymore.

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walkalot February 11th, 2023

Is it possible for you to go home and live with your family for a while

5 replies
Kyuun OP February 12th, 2023

@walkalot Not really, I could go home and live with my mum for a while. But then I'd have to leave, and returning here would be logistically tricky.

4 replies
walkalot February 12th, 2023

@Kyuun

you could consider it. it still may be the best option for you for now

3 replies
Kyuun OP February 12th, 2023

@walkalot thanks, you might be right, but I want to make a success of my life here. I think the stress of the upheaval would ruin me, and one of the things I hate is feeling like I'm a burden, even if I'm not. Here, I only have myself to answer to, and worry about.

2 replies
walkalot February 13th, 2023

@Kyuun

feel free to reach out if you need to talk one on one

1 reply
Kyuun OP February 14th, 2023

@walkalot thanks, I appreciate it.

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