At an impasse
I am in a situation where I know I have a problem. I have known I've had a problem for years. I know I do it to myself. All I need to do is start making the wise choice. I am very isolated with no support structure, and I live in Japan, so getting professional help is difficult due to the language barrier.
However much knowledge I have about costs and benefits, urges, thoughts etc. I still choose suffering over freedom nearly every day.
I guess what I am asking is for advice on how to make myself want to make the sensible choice.
I am dysthymic, have chronic stress and anxiety, and I'm pretty sure I have quiet self sabotaging BPD if that helps.
@Kyuun I'm sorry about what you're going through. I don't really have any good advice, but I hope it gets better for you ❤️.
Regardless, you should still try to get help though. There's probably a better chance that a professional will be able to help you sort through your emotions and stuff. Take care
What kind of choices you want to make
@walkalot I want to be able to choose abstinence.
Kuun, you should try to get help. Find a listener so can support you V during this time, find an AA group, and see if you have other friends who are going through the same journey. Then you will have the social support that will help you to overcome this problem
@walkalot thanks for the advice. You are absolutely right. I have started with Smart Recovery, and Recovery Dharma. I have trouble attending the meetings because of the time difference though. I am on here to try and change my mindset and give me a better chance of success.
Unfortunately with my mental health problems, I don't really have any friends, and definitely none in the same situation as me. I am committed to recovering and will keep moving forward.
Is it possible for you to go home and live with your family for a while
@walkalot Not really, I could go home and live with my mum for a while. But then I'd have to leave, and returning here would be logistically tricky.
@Kyuun
you could consider it. it still may be the best option for you for now
@walkalot thanks, you might be right, but I want to make a success of my life here. I think the stress of the upheaval would ruin me, and one of the things I hate is feeling like I'm a burden, even if I'm not. Here, I only have myself to answer to, and worry about.
