From Rock Bottom to Here: While I Breathe, I Hope
Life for me has been a series of challenges, hardships, waiting games, and setbacks.
My upbringing was not easy or healthy; I was raised in an unstable environment with this undercurrent of fear and anxiety I didn’t even fully understand. I lived in this fear and anxiety well into my teenage years (when I needed support most, as I am sure many of you can relate to, now or in your past). That’s when everything finally broke down. I lost everything I did have and was displaced in the world.
I had to learn things the hard way. I had to basically learn how to live. There were times when I agonized, “how can I do this? Will I ever make it?”
I was at my lowest. I hit rock bottom, what felt to me like the lowest pit, in the darkest depths—sitting in the proverbial well looking up, seeing the light so far away. It seemed impossible to reach, to get out.
But in the midst of this, something was flickering inside me, some indescribable impulse, some spark of yearning, something saying, “don’t give up.”
There’s a powerful scene in the Sandman series (Neil Gaiman) in which the King of Dreams challenges Lucifer Morningstar to a battle of wits to reacquire a stolen item from one of Lucifer’s minions. The battle requires each combatant to conjure up and embody an idea or entity that overwhelms the opponent in the cosmic stage; for example, when Dream says “I am a world” (meaning planet), Lucifer counters with “I am a nova, planet-killer.” This game of conversational one-upmanship also has physical consequences, as each exchange increasingly injures the combatants. In the last round, when Lucifer embodies “anti-life” (“the dark at the end of everything”) and Dream stands at the edge of defeat (and death), at what seems like the end, he says, “I am hope.”
“What is it that kills hope?” Dream asks; Lucifer accepts defeat.
Hope, in the context of our existence, is the belief that your life has purpose (spoiler alert: every one of us does). Hope is the assertion that life is worth living, even if you haven’t found that purpose yet.
There's a Latin phrase that I keep close to my heart in times of doubt: dum spiro, spero. "While I breathe, I hope." As long as we're alive (breathing), there's always reason for hope.
Whether it’s a loved one who believes in you, faith in a higher power, or that little voice fighting for you, let these forces guide you.
You’ll hit hard times. Pull from that strength and trust that you are stronger than you think. Rarely does anything break that can’t be fixed. I’ve felt like I would break so many times throughout my life, that life itself would break me, but looking back I am more resilient for everything I’ve been through, and I did it hoping that I would one day be exactly where I am now—still here, wiser, and maybe even a little impressed with myself.
There will be darkness, disasters, war, and pain, and it will feel unbearable but it’s not the end.
The beautiful thing about hope is it allows us to dream about the possibilities of a brighter future.
If you’re someone who’s been disappointed and disillusioned by being oversold on the idea of hope of a grand future, you’re not alone. Hope isn’t about waving a magic wand, or just sitting by and wishing. It’s in small steps, identifying and stacking up all the little wins (start with getting out of bed!), and finding things to be grateful for. It’s not glamorous like media might promise, and it shouldn’t be. Hope is something we do.
I am hopeful that no matter what you’re going through, you won’t give up.
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Let's reflect! If comfortable, please answer any of these that resonate with you.
💗 Have you faced similar experiences in your life?
💗 Is there anything you tell yourself or ways you cope with hardship?
💗 Thinking back on a particularly challenging time, what small step did you take that helped keep hope alive?
Read on for how to share your story here.
@Heather225
Heather, and Here it Is. The reason I arrived at 7 cups! Some authentic emotional catharsis and opening up. Amazing story and essay. I will reflect on the other questions later, gotta listen to my person right now.
@Heather225 I really...I am on the verge of tears right now. This hit straight into me, I am going through something that I have brought upon myself. Maybe it could've been better, but I had lessons to learn and know more about myself. Regrets, guilt, apathy, and hope. At this point I am just trying to make myself feel better. Maybe I am overexaggerating or underestimating what I have been through. Its time I get back.
@scarletSouth8061
i often tell myself i can't go back and change the past and much of it was out of my control, but i can use the lessons (even the hard ones and the ones i wasn't looking for at the time) and the wisdom that came with it. i doubt you're exaggerating or underestimating! it's important to fully acknowledge what you've endured, and i believe in you. this self-awareness you've got will see you through, one way or another. <3
@Heather225
Yes H, I think I faced similar experiences in my life too. Thank you for this wonderful heart touching excerpt from your heart. 💗 While I breathe, I hope 💕
I always tell myself that time is not constant and it will change, whether in bad times or good times. Difficult times are just a matter of time and they will change. Difficult situations teach us and provides the golden opportunity to learn, practice, and explore.✨
@Heather225
Special thanks to you for sparking my long time desire to learn the Latin language 💓
@WeEarth
it's such a gorgeous language and some of the strongest sayings i've ever heard stem from it. another:
@Heather225
Thank you H, this one sounds magical words! 💓
I am sorry that you've gone through so many
challenging times in your life.
I am very glad that you hold strongly onto hope,
that's amazing and it's something that always helps.
I can relate to many things in your story.
💗 Have you faced similar experiences in your life?
Yes, my years growing up were filled mostly with
hardships and lack of support.
But I always tried my best to keep a positive outlook
and allowed myself to hope for better days.
💗 Is there anything you tell yourself or ways you cope with hardship?
"This too, shall pass"
Whatever I'm feeling right now, it will pass
and things will get better.
I can always hope, because hope can never be taken away from me.
💗 Thinking back on a particularly challenging time, what small step did you take that helped keep hope alive?
I focused on myself and what I could do to improve my wellbeing,
because if there's anything I've learned in my healing journey is
that I do deserve good things and that hope is mine to have.
Taking the small steps, one day at a time and when that wasn't
doable, then only 15 minutes at a time.
Allow things to pass.
✨💙✨
✨
@Heather225 I have had a lot of challenges in my life. So, I can relate some to your challenges in life. Not knowing, if I am good enough or if what I am doing for others, is making a difference.
Whenever, I have those thoughts that come into, my mind, I pray and read, my Bible. I also do self reflection. When someone here at 7cups, says thanks for listening, it was really helpful or thanks for your supportive words, they mean so much to me. That changes my whole outlook on things. It makes me feel good to here those words. When, someone says Thank you, that means so much to me. I love when people show gratefulness. The work we do here, and the people we work for, is not always easy. The hard part about helping others, is while we do help and support them, and they improve, there are always ones, no matter how hard we work, no matter how much training we get, you cannot help them. They either are not ready for the help and the support or they waited too long to get the help and support, that if they would have come sooner, the outcome, might have been better. So, enclosing Please do not wait so long to get the help and support, if you need it. There is no shame in asking for help or getting the support you need.
@Heather225 Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with the community 🥰 I feel like our teen years and our 20s are such a tumultuous time and I’m currently going through a transitional phase. While some days are utter agony, I lean on my support system and the techniques I know help me to push me through to tomorrow. “The Sun’ll come out tomorroooooow!” There’s only 24 hours in a day, so knowing that it will end can keep us going. I like being stubborn because it allows me to keep going and keep pushing until I achieve everything I want in life and I know everyone else can do that too 💜 We’re all in this together!
@LittleBirdie30
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
@Heather225 not gonna lie I had a tear in my eyes as I was reading this. You are truly an inspirational person ❤❤ I kinda had a similar kind of thing when I was rescued at 18 years old, and brought to the real world, I'd never seen a bird, or heard music, didn't realise there was so many people in the world, it was very overwhelming and took me a good year to understand what was happening. Luckily at this point I had lots of people in my life trying to help me, so it's not really the same, I mean you didn't have the help like I did. Bless you ❤ but yeah every word you wrote in this post I strongly believe too ❤ always believe something magical is waiting for you just around the corner ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤squeezes you tightly ❤