The River
We are going down the river of life in our kayak. At the start, it may feel unnatural or a little clumsy. Maybe we lose our paddle or get stuck on rocks, but with more experience we gradually learn to read the water.
With a little more experience we can begin to feel the current pulling us. Sometimes we might not want to follow the current. Instead, we might have our eye on a beautiful spot across the water on the side of a river bank. Many of us will work really hard to cross the river to get to that spot. It will require a lot of extra paddling because we are going against the current.
One sad, but instructive experience happens when you finally make it to that hoped for spot and realize it is not as good as you had imagined. You were sure it was going to be beautiful, but somehow it fell short of that beauty. This is frustrating because it took so much energy to get there.
Some of us are stubborn, slow to learn, or both, and we have to make this same mistake many, many, many times.
Eventually, however, we too learn how to read the water and follow the current. Sometimes the current leads us right past the spots we wanted to go and then surprises us around the bend with a far better spot. These are great situations. Oddly, even though we shouldn't, we often give ourselves credit for finding the new spot, when most of the credit should go to the current. Still, these are great times and should be deeply enjoyed because they do not happen all the time.
Other times the current can lead us down more treacherous waters with rocks, eddies, and sticks that can be tough to navigate. Sometimes we lose a paddle, flip the kayak and get wet. In particularly tough times, we may even get injured. We don’t usually take “credit” for our role in these situations and instead happily blame the current.
Why do these more challenging times happen?
I believe they happen so that we can learn. Nobody wants to feel the anxiety, difficulties, and sometimes pain that happens during these times, but these are indeed the times that teach us the most skill. We don’t learn to become master kayakers when the river is smooth. We learn how to be master kayakers on the rapids. Adversity challenges us to overcome.
So, what is the right approach?
The approach is one that goes against our natural impulses. It can sometimes feel like it goes against everything that is within us, especially when it is painful and not what we had hoped for. The stoics were master kayakers and they have a statement, “the problem is the path.” They encourage us to steer into the challenges and to trust the current. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) encourages us to see the challenge as an opportunity to learn to solve a problem that we’ve been ignoring. These are wise words.
Abraham Maslow, another master kayaker, tells us to go further. He instructs us to see the challenges as a gift, to embrace them like we would a friend, to listen deeply and carefully to what they are telling us, to listen to their whispers. He encourages us to see the challenges as ends in and of themselves; and warns us not to look past them as a means to an end. He wants us to see and appreciate them for what they are – independent, difficult, and beautiful experiences.
The river of life brings us smooth, deep, and troubled waters. Thankfully we do not paddle alone. We find other kayakers on the water that also teach us lessons. Most of the lessons come down to following the current rather than insisting on our own plans. This key lesson is a lifetime lesson.
Reflection question: We have all gone through challenging times, or rough rapids, and overcome them in the past. What would you tell a friend going through difficult waters now?
I’m thankful that I have found all of you on the river. Thank you for paddling alongside me 🙏✨❤️.
If I spoke to a friend and I would make sure they are happy and looked after. I chat with them. I have made lots of friends and 7 cups of tea team here too. Thanks for everyone. I am here for everyone enjoy.Xx
I am a click away. XX
@purpleSea7109 thanks for having our backs and being just one click away :)
@GlenM
No problem GlenM. Just want to check everyone is Ok.Xx
Thanks for your help and support.
@GlenM
Wow I am just speechless many a time in life i felt why thing are going thr opposite i want to be ?
Why i get stuck to same circle again and again?
What message the life want to give ? Your post answer it many of it. just waiting the surprise spot it going to take lol.
thanking you for sharing and effort.
Going to screenshot it. would like to re read again and again.
@GlenM
Sorry missed answering the question. Here it go .. I would say my friend let go with flow ..let keep patience where it going to take.. accepting situation will lessen the pain. You are strong ..you had made through this much .you can make till the end.. Let together enjoy small small moment..small win instead of waiting for right thing..right person..
@GlenM
We have all gone through challenging times, or rough rapids, and overcome them in the past. What would you tell a friend going through difficult waters now?
The River
Dear Friend, you have found the River
I've been there, and I learned
I've felt the warm sunlight on my skin
When the kayak was slowly travelling down the current
I've also felt the shiver
After climbing back up when I fell
I have been at the bottom, but down there I found a shell
It contained a pearl, worth more than any other
And maybe you don't think it's worth it, that you are a bother
To the river and it's current, and that's valid
There will be stones, stopping you like solid
Metal, but I know you can do it, and if you feel lost
I'll paddle alongside you for a while
Until we have a pile of shells and pearls, and it's not about their cost
It's about you, achieving dreams and brightening up, because seeing you smile
Makes me the most happy, seeing you win
Fills me with joy and content
So let me paddle with you, we'll gain strength, no more shoulders bent
🌈
@MelodyoftheOcean
Beautiful thank you for sharing
🌈
@GlenM This is awesome. I think for Christians, the current is God. It is easy to blame Him for all the bad and then take credit for ourselves when good things come. Instead of surrendering to the current, we are surrendering to Him, and trusting that He knows better than we do and will work all things together for our good.
@GlenM
Regarding
- Reflection question: We have all gone through challenging times, or rough rapids, and overcome them in the past.
What would you tell a friend going through difficult waters now?
I would say:
- "Play a song that helps you feel better."
Here is a soothing River song I would suggest.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwwkF2S-3kE
@7motivation what a great find! I love acoustic guitar. So peaceful and much like a stretch of time on a nice river. Thank you for sharing ✨
@GlenM
You're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it too.
For me, coping with life's difficulties is much easier when listening Al Petteway's acoustic guitar songs. So I recommend people do something similar when having difficulties.
He expresses how I deeply feel about life with his melodies. It helps me know that I'm connected and helps keep me grounded. I even learned how to play most of his songs (except songs with slide)!
So I would tell someone having difficulties with life:
Find the music that you resonate with the most. Find music that is positive and helps you grow. Also learn how to play the music or sing it. Make it an important part of your life.
For anyone who likes positive nature songs to cope with life, here are some more links.
All are just instrumental guitar and some accompaniment.
No lyrics, drama-free, just honest interpretations of life with melody that can make one feel good.
Seven Swans: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUuxY2JUdck
Branches: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nggrGhuQLI8
Sligo Creek: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKtT8x-1G50
Sun Dog: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLAnftxtef0
Clouds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6On5ieIUWg
Tip: It helps if you imagine you are looking at Swans or Clouds or Branches of a stream or a Sun Dog or the Midsummer Moon while you are listening 🌝
@GlenM
First of all, that metaphor of a river is easy to understand and carries a message that all of us face. Males and females, children and adults. Going through this river and paddling through it, when things go wrong (I like how you phrased it) "we tend to blame the currents". What we don't know is that (again from how you've phrased it), we become master kayakers from paddling through the difficult storms. Those points are worth noting. Thank you for sharing.
We have all gone through challenging times, or rough rapids, and overcome them in the past. What would you tell a friend going through difficult waters now?
I would tell them that it's not always be stormy, sometimes the rivers quiets down. I would also tell them to look back at the journey. The storms that they conquered, the distance that they have come. Lastly, I would emphasize that they are not alone. That they are other kayakers too. That they are river animals like the fish too. They are taking the journey individually but not alone.
@GlenM
I will encourage them to keep trying to do the paddling so they can cross the river. I will say don't loose hope it is just a bad time it will gone you just need to accept and go with the flow
@GlenM
It's very inspiring." Thank you Glen for this idea If a friend stumbles, I will tell him to hold on. It is a challenge to your abilities, and the greater the challenge, the greater your capabilities. Discover more every time. And remember that the situation will not remain the same and the most beautiful awaits you
