The Gift of Giving

@GlenM

What stands out to me is simply much of what you just said. It's giving the gift of ourselves. Our time, treasures and talents. Just things done in a selfless manner in an effort to be of service to one another. I see how the gift gets bigger and bigger as it gets passed around. Yup, I know what you mean. I have called it trickle down, I have called it service, I have especially called it..........this is how the magic happens. Magical moments happen here every day on 7 cups. Just have to look for them or in fact create them. *high fives*

@SparkyGizmo

beautifully said. you really summed it all up!

magic happening every day!

@Heather225

Many thanks my friend!

@SparkyGizmo *high fives* - I like that a lot - a gift of ourselves - time, energy, thoughtfulness, care - and I like the concept of magical moments too. Thank you!

@GlenM

Many thanks my friend!

@GlenM What stands out to me about 7 Cups and gift giving?

Well, I found it interesting that the article on the Kula explains:

The act of giving, as Mauss wrote, is a display of the greatness of the giver, accompanied by shows of exaggerated modesty in which the value of what is given is actively played down.

So that's one way to look at it—badges and titles, in our economy.

But I do like the idea of a gift that passes from one person to the next. I'm here as a listener because I've been listened to and I know how much it has meant to me at times. And I know that a little of the listening I do here will be passed on when people I've listened to become listeners to others in their own lives. I think that's important. It goes beyond 7 Cups. 7 Cups is only one intermediary.

And it existed long before 7 Cups, too. As it happens, Samaritans (where all this volunteer listener thing began, in 1953) has an initiative they call SHUSH that helps ordinary people, not just their selected volunteers, to be better listeners.

How can we strengthen our gift economy even more? Maybe allow our member-listener distinction to soften a little more now. Maybe work at becoming more tolerant towards those people we've become a little too comfortable stigmatizing and censoring as trolls and bad actors. Maybe shift towards the idea that everyone deserves to be listened to, and everyone can be a listener.

Charlie

@RarelyCharlie thank you Charlie! I appreciate those thoughts. Yes, great point on the Samaritans and AA as well. Both great organizations that helped guide us along the way.

I also like the point on being kinder to people and less quick to label folks as being unhelpful. I hear the challenge and the encouragement in this point and we will keep at it.

@GlenM

I have found myself growing curious how 7 Cups was able to provide this platform and all of this amazing information, support, and training opportunities. This was really cool to see and learn. I also appreciate hearing how 7 Cups has evolved. I haven't been here or known about this place long. I sometimes can't believe all of the support, kindness, and compassion that is out here... not only that but also the passion that a lot of the people have here on this site, the passion to want to help. It's surreal almost, that something like this exists online. It's desperately needed in this world and it fits in with the current era. That is what stands out to me the most, how perfectly it fits in, in this time and place in the world.

@FlourishingDimensions great points! I especially like that word "surreal". And I agree with you on timing. We've been hard at it since 2013, but the need for 7 Cups has dramatically increased over time. I'm glad that we are here and can provide a much needed service through this ecosystem or gift economy model.

@GlenM

When you read the above (or watch the videos or read the links), what stands out to you about 7 Cups and gift giving?
I agree. 7cups is doing well as a gift exchanging eco system. In fact, money is rarely discussed on the platform. (Although I am not saying no to it either )

How can we strengthen our gift economy even more?
The gifts that we receive are kindness, Appreciation, feedback, cheers and badges. I believe we should be able to give more of these and not limit it. So, finding newer ways to award/deliver these would help strengthen it.
(food for thought: what if we could exchange some of these like currency? Wouldn't that be interesting? )

@DonaldDraper excellent points! Yes, there is no upside limit to kindness, compassion, or generosity. e.g., there is no kindness inflation so we don't have to worry about that. Good point! One thing, related to your second point, that I've thought of is how do we increase the gift giving surface area? Part of that is getting comfortable asking for help and then providing people the ability to provide that help across new domains. For example, we need research help because we cannot afford to hire tens of researchers to help us better understand how to help people. I needed to be okay being vulnerable and asking researchers for help. Thankfully they've agreed! And I imagine we could follow this same model in other areas as well.

@GlenM Im so surprised to read about the start up and thinking about charging for our listening services... Im so glad this didnt happen! :) It makes sense, as a startup to need an income to support those running the show behind the scenes ect, but for the listeners, as a listener, I feel the sense of community and the "giving economy" works out so well. Ive learnt so much from 7 cups and continue to learn daily! I have grown as a compassionate listener and I am finding it is impacting on my daily life. As a person about to apply for my Masters degree in Psychology (Eeek), the knowledge I have gained here is invaluable. So I have reached out to my fellow students and told them all about 7 Cups, because I really want them to experience what I have here on 7 Cups! And every year, I reach out to the new students etc etc... Thats what I believe my career is supposed to be about, giving back to your community where ever you are. Big or small, a difference is a difference.

Also, I LOVE the badges! 103 and growing (hopefully)! Ive applied for my VL badge last week and I am awaiting the results with bated breath!

Thank you @GlenM for giving us the opportunity to give back, to learn and grow and be part of a community that makes a difference. :)

@Rooibos14 I'm also very glad it didn't happen. The community has deep wisdom that has kept us on track many times over the years. That was one very early lesson.

Congrats on the MA program! I'm sure you will do great! And thank you for spreading the word to fellow students. All students are very welcome to help and contribute!

I like the badges and training and learning as well. I'm very glad we launched the Academy to help formalize things.

So wonderful Glen, thnak you so much!

@LightWhisper thank you!

Hi @GlenM 👋🏻😁

Interesting. This can be a good discussion.

○ What stands out about 7Cups and gift giving practice is everyone giving gift one way or another can be for a reason or for no reason.

○ What stands out about 7Cups and Gift Economy is how much similar it is to religion practice (regardless the religion) where sharing some of our blessing according to our abilities is encouraged.

And how much they are also have similarities with Marxism idea.

"From one according to their abilities and to one according to their need" - Karl Marx

The gift are one's valuable thing, in 7Cups, it is their time, mind and heart. Without prior agreement from both and without expecting anything in return. What everyone will get is relationship between people. Intangible but can be felt.

○ But 7Cups is not fully Gift Economy, there's also Market Economy. The professional therapist services.

Is it bad? Not at all. But it can be mix with a slight of Gift Economy idea. As Seth Godin said, "Customers are not buying your product, they are buying relationship" (with similar quality I suppose)

○ And Barter Economy practices may apply when a Listener ask for a Member to give reviews, when badges attached with certain minimum number of services monthly . Is it not a barter of services? Is it bad? I don't think so, the structure built for a reason, right?

How do we strengthen our Gift Economy?

What made you want to strengthen it?

In my humble opinion Glen, those who truly apply pure Gift Economy here are:

○ Listeners and Members who work under the radar who give gift of time and emotional support without asking for a review nor apply for a badge (You know who you are)

So, how do you want to strengthen that? I have couple ideas to propose but it's kinda radical ideas and full of advertisement for 7Cups Academy lol so, let's just not voice it out.

@ouiCherie I read these thoughts and very much enjoyed them. Thank you for sharing! It is a fun discussion :)

Yes, there are definite similarities between world religions and political ideologies. The idea that we are all intrinsically valuable - all of us have worth and should be treated with dignity - and, yes, all of us have something to give or contribute. I believe all of that in my bones.

No need to hold back on the ideas! Radical ideas are very welcome!

@GlenM seriously? 😁 *nervous*

For everyone who stumble into this, kindly note that this is just for the fun of discussion, if you don't agree, chill... it's not gonna happen. It's against theory on how to appreciate hand raisers that is taught on LDP and may not fit 7Cups values and culture after all. Peace.

Here you go...

○ Badges are nice. It makes you feel appreciated, makes you recognize your teammates, but... What if there's no badge, other than admins and com mods (we have to know who's the authorities after all) and safety team perhaps? Anyone can still apply for roles and doing tasks according to their abilities, would there be a decrease on people applying for roles or increase? It could be an increase, there's a freedom in being nobody.

One only gets rewarded intangibly by the actual work that they do and how they treat others. And that is in the form of a good relationship with people.

○ On the contrary, what if one has to go through LDP and BCP to apply for roles? What if everyone can host but only if they have gone through GLDD? What if there's a mark on profile if one has gone through QLP, like check mark for VL? Will there be an increase numbers in Academy?

It's probably more fit to Barter Economy. The community gives you additional tools to face life for free and opportunity to do more here, in return, you give a better quality in serving the community.

○ What if professional therapists have schedule to host discussions for free and meet people, build familiarity and relationship with people. Will there be an increase in the use of their paid service?

Would it be like Gift Economy initially turn into a lead for Market Economy?

Glen, I didn't expect you to reply 😁 you're cool! thanks ♡

@ouiCherie love all of these thoughts and no need to be nervous. This is great discussion :)

I think you have already read our culture guide, but wanted to highlight it here for additional context and other readers. At the highest level, we are working together to build a free behavioral health system that scale compassion. This is a complicated enterprise that draws and needs people with all kinds of backgrounds, strengths, weaknesses, and personality styles. What helps some people might not help others and vice versa. The badges and other elements are good markers of accomplishment or milestones reached. Others are really gratified by a quiet message from another member or listener. The key thing is to think of 7 Cups as a platform that attempts to welcome and support others with different paths or processes to help them grow and care for others. We have a long ways to go here, but think we are off to a strong start!

I'll share your therapy idea with Lisa. Also, @hope is working on an idea on the Academy front that will be similar to what you've outlined. We should be able to share more on that front soon.

Thank you for your thoughts and help!

@GlenM noted the additional context and that's a great point.

Thank you for the opportunity to join the discussion with you ♡ stay awesome!

@GlenM

I think everyone made some great points. I suppose Cherie means that there are different perspectives to understand the 7 Cups model from and I think that's really cool. :)

@GlenM

That gave me some goosebumps how people really care for others and there's still faith in humanity, well said!

@MagicalButterfIy so good right?!

@GlenM As someone that is very new to 7 Cups, this was a great read for me. It is awesome how this explanation of how the site works makes you really think about all the people involved and how each conversation is just a piece of the whole puzzle. The best part is in a world that is full of negativity, this is based on positive thoughts and actions. I am really looking forward to continuing my exploration of what 7 Cups has to offer.

@NikkiCar we are all pieces of the puzzle; all fundamental parts to this interesting thing we are doing. Glad you are here and thank you for contributing!

@GlenM

It's like paying it forward. We have all had moments in our lives when someone has reached out a hand and helped us up, sometimes quite oblivious to the deep need within us at that moment. We need to reach out and always pay forward, it costs us nothing but our time, our ear, our compassion. The reward is far greater than the giving!

@Anneb very well said! I like the image of that. We've all been in holes in different parts of our lives and kind souls have reached down to help us climb out. We are indeed just paying it forward :)

Condensed response here-rhis may have already been expressed, but giving a piece of yourself to another in need, in it’s self, is a form of healing. It is also healing for the giver. Passing on knowledge.. understanding, ..knowing exactly how another is feeling and how to listen to their plight.. experience or general emotional struggle, creates a bond .. especially if it is grown from the need for purity in the act of supporting another in need. - so meaningful on each end.

@BellaHealy2010 I totally agree - it is healing for the giver! Thank you for sharing your thoughts here!

@GlenM

Im now facing a situation where the person im giving to osnt give anthing back and actually cuts me off when I try to give... so I think as everything in life, this is relative. giving ones self to someone should have boundaries based on ones own self care.

@BellaHealy2010 yet they say they love me while showing me opposite actions, laying down demands, and the universe I thought was ours is actually the complete opposite.  

@GlenM

What stands out to you?

The effect that the internet has and how it changes the dynamics of giving. I'm sure that, in ancient times, these gifts were given to and by people who had a face to face connection at some point. With the benefit of the internet, we are able to connect with people from all over the world. In my opinion, is really highlights just how special what we have on Cups really is: 2 people on an entire planet can connect solely because there is a 'need'. The gifts that are exchanged between those two people create a special bond. That's the part that's amazing to me.

In reference to your second question, I think more projects like the Tuplip awards would be great. If I understand how that project works correctly, a nomination is an anonymous gift that is given, as a token of appreciation. There's no pressure to nominate someone, no being asked to do so (unlike ratings and reviews) and there's no expectation of receiving one (Listeners give with no expectation in return). It's another way to anonymously give the gift of appreciation. I think increasing awareness of this project and creating others similar to it would be a fun way to encourage gift giving on Cups (with no expectations attached).

Thank you for opening this space and beginning this conversation 😊

~ Sher

I apologize for having to create another post. I just remembered that you like examples of our ideas 😁

So to round out my proposal to have more projects like Tulip awards, I would like to share the following:

In school, we had a thing called "Candygrams" that were sent anonymously to others. They were sweet messages of encouragement or appreciation. I'm not sure how the 'delivery system' would be on Cups, but the creation method could look something like this: either a button on the user profile OR a button on the menu list that would take people to a 'fill in' form page. That page would ask for the recipient's name of the Candygram, and have a list of pre-approved, short messages to select from. Messages that are positive and supportive, such as "Thank you for supporting me", "I believe in you", "Good job!", "You deserve a cookie today!", or "Keep going, you've got this!". Basically, enter the name, select your message and send.

I have no idea, due to IT factors, this is something that could be done here but I can tell you that sometimes receiving anonymous words of kindness is all it takes to lift someone up, brighten their day, or provide encouragement for them to keep on sharing their gifts with others.

~ Sher

@Sher217 thank you for these ideas! Would the candygrams be anonymous?

And, yes, the intenet is this remarkable medium. I'm glad we get to be pioneers in how to help use it for pro-social and compassionate goals. That in and of itself feels like a gift to me.

@GlenM

Hey Glen,

They would be sent anonymously.

I actually have a sample form that could be used by those wanting to send one, if you're interested.

~ Sher

Yes please send my way!

7cups is amazing and the gift is something that keeps giving. I personally love 7 cups and its awesome for ppl of limited funds to have a safe place to go. Wish I had this opportunity as a kid in the 1970s. Thank you 7cups!! ABB💜

@amiableBlackberry92 I totally agree. I too had quite a bit of pain as younger person and wish 7 cups was around for me back then. Glad to be a part of it now though! and Glad you are here too.

@GlenM

I joined 7 Cups during a time when I was starting to feel the effects of the isolation around the pandemic. I had been a hospice volunteer and missed that feeling of connection with others. Quite by accident I came across 7 Cups, and I have been volunteering ever since. It's been rewarding, and I enjoy every hour that I give, interacting with others and hopefully lifting them up in an encouraging and supportive way. I am blessed by a few beautiful humans who have continued to share with me over a longer time frame, and this makes the journey even more personally fulfilling. I am honored to be part of such a meaningful venture.

@MidwesternCalmSeeker we are honored to have you as a part of our community! Thank you for serving others. Also, I hadn't thought of it before, but the parallels to hospice make a lot of sense. Can you share more on the similarities for you and how what you've learned in that environment might translate here?