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October 2024 Forum Spotlight
by tommy
Last post
1 day ago
...See more October 2024 Forum Spotlight It's that time of the month again where we join together to celebrate the opportunities available to us across the forum. There are two core purposes of our forum spotlight: one to spotlight forum discussions more widely and two to showcase the amazing work of those community users who go above and beyond to help ensure everyone gets a reply to their thread. Here is an overview of our forum discussions for this month: * I'm Just Me Because Month [https://www.7cups.com/forum/trauma/CheckinsandPrompts_1095/TraumaSupportCommunityCheckInforOctober2024ImJustMeBecauseMonth_338157/] * World Mental Health Day [https://www.7cups.com/forum/disabilities/ArticlesResourcesConditionSpecificInformation_458/WorldMentalHealthDay_338207/] * How can I manage changes and life transitions? [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CopingToolsResourcesforRelationships_1161/RelationshipSupportDiscussionWaystoManageChangesandLifeTransitionsTogether_338525/] * POTS World Day [https://www.7cups.com/forum/disabilities/ArticlesResourcesConditionSpecificInformation_458/POTSWorldDayPosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome_339066/] * Inclusive Trick or Treating [https://www.7cups.com/forum/disabilities/CommunitySpace_227/InclusiveTrickorTreating_339078/] * Parenting Teenagers [https://www.7cups.com/forum/parenting/Parenting_2568/ParentingTeenagers_339581/] Looking to help us with forum engagement? Join our forum team by clicking here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/7cupsleadership/CommunitiesHelpWanted_2306/Soyouwanttobeaforumleader_334833/]. Here is our leaderboard for our monthly engagement challenge (with the number of needs reply posts answered): @Sunisshiningandsoareyou 204 @GentleHealingInitiative 101 @Phoenixthepoised 19 @Optimisticempath 17 You can find out more about this engagement initiative here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/EventsDiscussions_2666/Introducingournewandimprovedforumengagementchallenge_335791/] (including the link to participate). Are you wanting to get involved with this initiative for the month of November? Let us know about it by replying down below this forum spotlight! Please join me in congratulating our fantastic forum engagers down below! 🔗 Links * Do you want to join our taglist so you are notified of the next spotlight? Click here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/7cupsleadership/ProjectsEvents_2399/ForumEventsAutomatedTaglist_316255/]! * Do you have a thread which you've recently posted that you feel could be highlighted in our next monthly spotlight? Or perhaps you've noticed another thread which you think could be featured in our spotlight? Let us know about it here [https://forms.gle/wGWYW4izzS2Ukrrq6]!
3 Key Things!
by GlenM
Last post
October 26th
...See more Please post here 3 key things you have done to help move 7 Cups forward. I will be doing this on a daily basis. Feel free to do it daily, weekly, or monthly. Right now we've got thousands of people doing a lot of work on the site, but we don't have a clear way of being able to support one another. The goal of this thread is to help all of us see all the good work that is going on. Please ask any questions or share thoughts!
Taking Care of Each Other - Preventing Burnout at 7 Cups
by Hope
Last post
October 17th
...See more Hi everyone! This is a forum post linked to the path 'Preventing Burnout at 7 Cups' [https://www.7cups.com/path/playlist/preventing-burnout-at-7-cups/] What have you done today/recently to prevent burnout in a fellow community user? This can look like: • Encouraging self-care • Reminding someone of the importance of boundaries • Covering for someone so they can take a self-care break
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - A summary-ish!
by Hope
Last post
August 3rd
...See more Hi everyone, I hope all is well on your end. Ever since my last post discussing man's search for meaning [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SiteUpdates_100/BookRecommendationsAdminPicks_2134/ManssearchforMeaningAreflection_228307/], I have read some more books. One, in particular, I found very interesting and I would like to share it with you. This post will discuss findings from the book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. [https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Powerful/dp/1982137274/ref=pd_lpo_14_t_0/145-6068088-7903354?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1982137274&pd_rd_r=f34ccdf1-7716-4ed8-afa0-d77bd47f8ca1&pd_rd_w=GqgrT&pd_rd_wg=JC097&pf_rd_p=7b36d496-f366-4631-94d3-61b87b52511b&pf_rd_r=EP0K4CHKATEY5WMAA8RK&psc=1&refRID=EP0K4CHKATEY5WMAA8RK] I do encourage you to read the book yourself. This post just captures some parts of the book, the book is quite extensive and I personally don't think a summary would do it justice. I have tried to reflect on pages that I found powerful and principles we can all learn from. � To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions One thing that I really liked about the book is how it urges you to be genuine in your efforts, to truly work on personal growth and improvement, and to not go for quick fixes and hacks. The author insists that outside change (be better at a business or be more successful etc) comes when you change your perspective and shift your thinking, stated in the book as We began to realize that if we wanted to change the situation, we first had to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions. The Map is not the territory Arthur argues that our understanding of the world is subjective and not objective. How we view the world is based on our experiences, perceptions, understanding, etc. Stephen explains that the map is not the territory but rather. A map is simply an explanation of certain aspects of the territory. In order to reach your desired destination, you must use the right map. If you have a map of Chicago but you want to go to Detroit then no matter how hard you try, you will not reach Detroit by following that map. We all carry many maps in our mind, we rarely question how accurate they are, we believe that our maps represent the right territories, they show things as they are as opposed to how we see them. Our maps fuel our perceptions and thoughts, people with different maps see things differently. The author argues that principles are the territory and our values are our map. If we don't practice the right values (wrong map) we can't reach the right principles (wrong territory). This analogy is heavily used in the book, to understand it fully, I recommend that you read the book. Let's look at the 7 Habits Be proactive The book urges us to proactive and not reactive. It advises that we should take responsibility for our lives and that we should avoid blaming external circumstances. Reactive people blame external elements while proactive people try to find a solution to the problem at hand. The author believes that our response to an event matters more than the event itself. A proactive person uses proactive language–I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reactive language–I can't, I have to, if only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and do–they have no choice. Begin with the End in Mind The book contains a powerful exercise that I won't mention as it is as it can be triggering for some. Basically, our time on earth is limited, and envision how you would like to be remembered. Beginning with the ‘end in mind allows you to see what truly matters to you with more clarity. Almost everyone will pick things like relationships and love over materialistic things. Work backward from that vision and reflect on your life and see if you are making the right choices. Additionally, you can also use visualization to accomplish your current goals, if you wish to run a marathon you may visualize how that would feel, what you will wear, how you will tackle each mile, etc you visualize it long enough, you start to believe that you will get there. This book aside, visualization in itself is a very powerful tool we can all try to incorporate in our lives. The author recommends creating a personal mission statement [https://www.developgoodhabits.com/personal-mission-statement/#:~:text=Covey%20suggested%20that%20people%20create,want%20to%20contribute%20to%20society.] and reflecting on it often to ensure your actions align with your end goals. Put First Things First Once you have figured out your principles and values, it is important to prioritize choices/goals that allow you to practice what matters to you. The book recommends to not get lost with the daily planning and losing sight of what truly matters in the long run. The author talks about the following quadrants. He insists that if you make time for activities that fall under quadrant II, your Quadrant I will be reduced over time. The Win/Win or No Deal Principle The author insists that in all of your dealings, reach a ‘win/win agreement where both you and the corresponding party benefits. If you both are not able to find a way through which you both would benefit, then simply walk away and do not make a deal. While the principle, in general, is good to live by but the author admits that in some situations ‘no deal� is not an option and the ‘win/win situation is hard to reach. Nevertheless, he insists that it is the only reasonable principle to strive for. If you read the book, his explanation does make sense as he goes in quite a lot of detail. Stephen mentions that to reach the ‘Win/Win mindset, one must possess/acquire the following character traits: Integrity - If there is no trust between the people making a deal, then win/win is hard to achieve. Maturity - Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration Abundance mentality - There is plenty for everyone, say no to zero-sum thinking [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SiteUpdates_100/HsHaven_1970/RecognitionandZeroSumThinking_224428/] Seek first to understand, then to be understood I think most of us are guilty of wanting to be understood first before we even try to understand the other person. Simply listening and seeking first to understand can be a game-changer. A lot of confusion and headache can be avoided if one tries to understand the other person before wanting to be understood. Given that 7 Cups is a place where most value listening, I won't go into more detail about why this point is important. Synergize What is synergy? Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It means that the relationship which the parts have to each other is a part in and of itself. It is not only a part, but the most catalytic, the most empowering, the most unifying, and the most exciting part. The author insists that our differences give us the opportunity to synergize, work together to create something better. Which does make sense, what would the world look like if we all saw the same things, felt the same way, want the same things? Pretty boring to say the least. Sharpen the Saw The author insists that it's worth putting in the time and effort to ‘sharpen the saw so you can better function. It is not a waste of time but essential for our well being and productivity. Stephen mentions that there are 4 dimensions to sharpening our saws Physical - Give your body the right fuel, exercise frequently. We need to make choices that are relevant and sustainable. Spiritual - The spiritual dimension is your core, your center, your commitment to your value system. It's a very private area of life and a supremely important one. It draws upon the sources that inspire and uplift you and tie you to the timeless truths of all humanity. And people do it very, very differently. find what works for you! Mental - We need to continue to fuel our mind with good things like good books and limit things like binge-watching seasons of your favorite shows, fun for sure but not very refreshing! Social/Emotional - The author insists that practicing the earlier mentioned habits and staying true to your values will help you find the balance in this dimension. Have you read the book? If so, share your favorite bits with us!
'Man's search for Meaning' A reflection
by Hope
Last post
July 28th, 2023
...See more Hi everyone, a while ago @GlenM recommended a book called ‘Mans Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It is a book written by a psychiatrist who experienced great struggles in his life, I will avoid the details of the struggles to avoid triggering anyone. If you are interested in the background of the author then please read more here. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Frankl] I finally got around to reading it last week and Glen encouraged me to share the findings and summary of the book with the community so in this post I will try to explain the main takeaways of the book and how it may be applied to our community in some contexts. It is okay if you personally disagree with some of the claims of the book but nevertheless, it makes some interesting points and I find it worth reading. If you are interested, you can find the book here. [https://www.amazon.ae/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X] Key takeaways from the book 1) To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering When we look at life whether it is ours or someone else's, we find a lot of suffering so it can be argued that there exists no life without a certain level of suffering. So it is unreasonable to try and avoid all possible suffering and instead the goal is to find meaning in our suffering. However, this purpose can not be found by simply asking someone else. You have to look at your own life and find the purpose in your own suffering. An example of this can be school, some people truly believe that a school is a form of suffering for them yet they manage to do well because they find meaning in the suffering and know that they go to school for a reason and that it is not pointless. 2) One who knows ‘Why' can bear any ‘how' It's a powerful statement to make, but isn't that how life goes? If you have a firm ‘why' you can bear any ‘how'. Let's look at the community, we are a community of people who are striving to support those in need of a listening ear. In this scenario, our ‘Why' is that we are here to provide support but our ‘How' differs and changes. So you see people who are incredibly busy in their lives, are studying and have a job yet they find the ‘how' and continue to dedicate their time and efforts because they have a firm ‘why'. They believe in the mission and are open to any ‘how'. 3) The Meaning of Life I will quote the book here as the author answers this question in a way that no summary can do it justice ‘The meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment. To put the question in general terms would be comparable to the question posed to a chess champion: "Tell me, Master, what is the best move in the world?" There simply is no such thing as the best or even a good move apart from a particular situation in a game and the particular personality of one's opponent. The same holds for human existence. One should not search for an abstract meaning of life. Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone's task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it. It does make you think what is the meaning of life at this very moment? And that somehow makes the question much less daunting. You don't have to figure your whole life, you just have to focus on the present moment. 4) Man should not ask what the meaning of his life is I know it's confusing to hear this right after the above statement but bear with me! The book states ‘As each situation in life represents a challenge to man and presents a problem for him to solve, the question of the meaning of life may actually be reversed. Ultimately, a man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to the life, he can only respond by being responsible. This observation in particular is more difficult to understand and understandably so but at the same time, it helps you focus on the now and leaves you in the mindset of wanting to be more responsible and viewing life expectations in a new light. If we apply this to 7 Cups, at times we focus on the bigger questions like ‘What is the ideal 7 Cups' and maybe while asking that question, we can also ask ourselves, what can we do to in this very moment, in this present to make the platform get closer to its ideal self? Instead of focusing on what the site could improve on, maybe we can focus on what we can do to improve the area we are passionate about. Just a thought! 5) You have the freedom to choose your attitude The book states ‘everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. Life is filled with challenges and at times less than ideal situations and it can be so easy to complain about the situation and focus on all the negatives but the real courage is in acknowledging that you have the freedom to choose your attitude towards the situation and once we realize that, it all seems somehow more manageable. 6) Success & Happiness can not be pursued as the main target The book insists that the more you aim to be successful and the more you pursue happiness, the more unlikely it is for you to achieve it. Sounds like a bold claim at first so let me also quote the exact lines ‘"Don't aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long run—in the long run, I say! —success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it." This statement may be controversial to some but I agree with it, to me this means that you can't reach for shortcuts but you have to put in the work. You have to find something greater than yourself that you can dedicate your efforts to. You need to live a certain way and success and happiness find you even if you are not looking for it. 7) Live as if you were living already for the second time Think about it, with practice we get better at things and we start to realize what truly matters. The book says ‘Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!" when we look at life as we were living it for the second time, somehow the priorities become clearer. You feel more motivated to pursue your dreams, give more time to your loved ones, and the desire to chase after materialistic success seems to matter less. There are more lessons in the book so I recommend reading it yourself. It can be easy to think about all the negativity in the world and lose your way in life but I believe this book helps you feel more grounded and allows you to see the world with a fresh perspective. What do you think about the teachings of this book? Would you like to read this book?
2 Minutes Summary: "Courage to be disliked"
by ASilentObserver
Last post
March 18th, 2023
...See more I was reading this book, The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga and found it really interesting. It was an amazing read. The book covers Adlerian Psychology. It is a distillation of Adlers philosophical and psychological ideas, thoughts, and reasoning. The book is in the form of narration of the dialogs exchanged between a philosopher and a young man who is seeking change in his life. While reading it, I was thinking about our community, its leaders, and each member. So, here are my takeaways from the book in the context of our community. I hope you all like it and find it helpful. What I Learned from the book The Courage to be Disliked * Community is a feeling. You are part of the community. While your journey whether as a member or a listener is the result of a series of steps you took. A series of choices you made. A series of decisions you took. The events that happened was an experience but not the complete journey. You can create the journey you want to have. As many of you have noticed that when you enter a chatroom at times, it used to be quiet. After a while, a few join the room but a few initiate the chat. Simply by saying, Hi or Hello. And, soon the room filled with members and their interesting talks and discussions. So, the first person who said, Hi created the value. By deciding not to observe or just leave it anyway, he made the effort to send some love. That's a courageous move. The same is with your journey. You decide what you want to do with it. How your contributions look in the community. * We live in a subjective world. We believe we live in an objective world but none of us are. We live in a subjective world that we ourselves have given meaning to. The world you see can be different from what I see. There is no escape from your own subjectivity. If you see the world wearing dark glasses on a sunny afternoon, for example. The view will seem dimmer. But if you remove the glasses and view it, you will see it as a sunny day and you will find it so bright that involuntarily you shut your eyes. It is a matter of courage. * It is about the present goals. In the words of Adler, The important thing is not what one is born with but what use one makes of that equipment. We usually explain our journey based on past events. That is, X event happened and that is why now Y event is taking place. When you explain things based on cause and effect relationships, things end up with determinism. Result set in advance. But, you can change that. Have you ever thought about how our eyes managed to stay open while capturing pictures? Even though the light was so bright that easily made our eyes shut. It happened due to the goal we set. The goal of having good pictures. We made the choice. Because you took the courage to keep your eyes open. That is the power of goals. You can define your journey based on the goals you set at any point of time in the journey regardless of the past events. * Separation of tasks. There is a common thought we have, I was unable to complete my tasks because X didnt do his. We probably heard this statement in the chat rooms, Moderators suppose to moderate the room and that is why I didnt use the personal mute. Or, I wont mute him because I will not be able to see what he says. Result of it, chat rooms turn into a mess rather than a supportive environment. So, one needs a separation of tasks. You need to do your role no matter what others are doing. By following community guidelines of chat room participation rules, one is doing his part of the task. He contributed towards creating a supportive environment as well as a decision to make his experiences better. * You hold the cards to progress. It is because he did this to me, I am in this situation today. But if you can think you brought up the past event to reason that you do not want to progress/ improve, then you are holding the card to make a change and progress. How would you want to react to an action, it is completely your call. Because if you can change the goal, you can solve the problem of not making progress. * You are part of the community. The community is broad and all-inclusive. You are part of it. When you make the switch from attachment to self to concern for others. You experience this community feeling. Part of a bigger picture. Members supporting others in the chat rooms or listeners who listen and support others, for example, made that switch. Taking care of others. The great thing about community feeling is that when you help others to progress, you also progress with them. I always hear the experiences and stories from many listeners that how listening and supporting others actually helped them to become better. In other words, you are a piece of a puzzle. When you join hands with others to create a bigger value, you find yourself significant. You feel better. You feel confident. You feel improved. You feel connected. YOU are the key here! * Exist in the present. You always have a chance to change how you view something. Nothing can stop one from making long strides. You need to focus on what matters to you at this moment. And then outline what steps you can take to achieve what matters to you. There will be challenges, there will be push backs, you will find yourself stuck in a black hole. But, when you know your PRESENT goals, none can stop you from making an improvement. Defining how your journey would be. And, Creating the journey you want to experience. Experience that feeling of being part of something bigger than you. Part of being a community. Someone has to start. Other people might not be cooperative, but that is not connected to you. My advice is this: you should start. With no regard to whether others are cooperative or not.- Adler It is the start of a new beginning.
Book Recommendations - New Space!
by Hope
Last post
September 5th, 2020
...See more Hi everyone! Welcome to this new space for book recommendations by the admin team. To give you some context, our founder @GlenM loves books and is always sharing some good recommendations with the admin tea and we find ourselves reading these books and learning very important lessons so we want to share our knowledge with the broader community. This space will be used by us to share summaries, reflections, and even book recommendations. The idea is to share what we are reading and tell the community about the books we recommend. From time to time, you will see posts from us. You are welcome to respond to the posts and share your own takeaways of the books. Let's connect on a deeper level and share our love for books. Click here to view the new sub-forum [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SiteUpdates_100/BookRecommendationsAdminPicks_2134/] You can also get started by reading this reflection of 'man's search for meaning' [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SiteUpdates_100/BookRecommendationsAdminPicks_2134/ManssearchforMeaningAreflection_228307/]

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