Site Updates Community

Distortion 3. Black and White Thinking

by Hope

1 minute ago

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are well. We have covered two distortions so far, catastrophizing [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/LearningaboutCognitiveDistortionsDistortionNo1Catastrophizing_314208] and mind reading [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion2MindReading_314894]. Please check them out if you have not yet. Today we will talk about black-and-white thinking, also known as polarized thinking, all-or-nothing, or binary thinking. It is the tendency to think in extremes and ignore grey areas. Either something/someone is great or horrible, no in-between. Healthline, in this article, makes a good point ‘There’s a reason most people don’t live on Everest or in the Mariana Trench. It’s hard to sustain life at those extremes.’ Examples of black-and-white thinking: * Seeing people as good or bad. X is a good person, Y is a bad person. Failing to see grey areas, areas where X is acting poorly or Y is acting in a good manner. * Seeing something is smart or stupid. Your peer presented a project in class, you failed to see its value and deemed it as entirely stupid. On the other hand you presented a project and dismissed a valuable constructive critique as you believed the project to be good and therefore it has no flaws. * Thinking you are a failure because you don’t do well in school. You disregard your other strengths and focus on the negatives that weigh you down. * Thinking someone hates you because they were rude to you once. * Thinking you have no friends as you were unable to meet your friends for a month due to busy schedules. The reality is that most of life happens in grey areas. People are far more complex than being good or bad. Similarly, situations we face are often not all good or bad. There are times when we face exceptions to this rule, something tragic happens or we lose someone we love. However, in this post we are talking about the tendency to think black or white in general, creating a pessimistic point of view in life. We will use the same technique that we have been using in other posts where we train ourselves to not think in extremes. 📢Points of Action: Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post) Counter your black-and-white thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience. ⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise. ⭐ When was the last time you engaged in black-and-white thinking and what actually ended up happening? Further Reading How Black and White Thinking Hurts You (and What You Can Do to Change It) [https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/black-and-white-thinking] 🗒️If you are interested in making a post or more in this series. Please reach out to me via PMs.

Distortion 10. Mental Filtering

by Hope

4 minutes ago

...See more Hi everyone! How's everyone feeling this week? Thank you for following our cognitive distortion series. It is time to cover the final cognitive distortion of this series called ‘Mental Filtering’. Think of it as a spotlight, but one that illuminates only the negative aspects of your experiences, leaving the positives shrouded in darkness. As with many distortions, you may find it overlapping it with covered distortions but also have a unique element of its own which is why it is covered in a separate post. The difference between mental filter and catastrophizing is, the mental filter is like wearing clouded glasses that don’t allow you to see bright colors, meanwhile catastrophizing is like hearing a fire alarm go off every time you see a candle flicker or a pan show a hint of smoke. Catastrophizing is a lot more intense and negative, meanwhile, mental filters can be harder to spot because they feel more real and are less subtle. Instead of blowing things out of proportion, you are just choosing to look at all the negatives and discount the negatives. Catastrophizing can feel like ‘I can see one cloud, it will rain and my outdoor picnic is canceled’. While mental filter can be ‘It has rained 3 times this month when I had outdoor plans, the weather is always bad’’ while discounting the fact that you were able to do 4 outdoor activities during the same month because it did not rain on those days. So, what's the deal with this filter? Essentially, it works like this: * Magnifying flaws: Remember that presentation where you stumbled over a point? Mental filtering blows it up into a neon sign announcing "Public Humiliation!". Meanwhile, those insightful remarks and audience engagement? Meh, barely a flicker on the radar. * Discounting positives: Received a compliment on your writing? Mental filtering whispers, "Just being nice." Did you fail that exam? "Must have been an easy one." Any positive feedback gets dismissed as irrelevant or accidental. * Selective memory: Think about it – every awkward moment, every rejection, every critical comment replaying on repeat in your mind? Yeah, that's mental filtering There are many ways to break free but we will focus on the high-impact ones. * Reflect on the positives, and try to note down all the opposing (positive evidence) to the situation you are applying the mental filter to. * Gratitude journal: Every day, jot down three things you're grateful for – a funny incident, a kind gesture, a personal triumph. It trains your brain to actively seek out the good stuff, like a positivity magnet. This is an important way to long term reframe this distortion and avoid many similar ones. Think of a time you looked at a situation with the mental filter glasses on and how did that work out? What would you do differently today? What we want to do through reflecting on these distortions is to make life easier for us. Life is hard, I don’t need to tell you that, you already know it. But does it make sense to worsen our situation by indulging in negative thoughts? So let's reflect on all these distortions and save ourselves from additional misery. We have a lot more control over the quality of our thoughts than we give ourselves credit for. This is a wrap on the cognitive distortion series. Thank you to everyone who participated, I am very proud of all of you who challenged your negative thoughts, its really hard to reason with our brains and I see the effort you have put in. Remember to submit the series eval form [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdZ-Svf0igRTYst5y-r8m21scUltfV5-cfWxLyzM-tPwvLTVw/viewform]

Distortion 2. Mind Reading

by Hope

25 minutes ago

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. In our learning about cognitive distortions series, today we will tackle ‘Mind reading’. If you have not taken part in the catastrophizing post, please do so here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/LearningaboutCognitiveDistortionsDistortionNo1Catastrophizing_314208/] Mind reading like the name suggests is when we assume we know what someone else is thinking and are convinced that it is the case and there is no real verification/fact checking of it. It is important to acknowledge that this is not all bad, at some level mind reading can help us read a situation like when your friend smiles, you know they liked your joke. Similarly, if someone’s jaw drops we can tell they are surprised. But these ‘assumptions’ are based on something more concrete like a physical action and are not negative. It becomes a problem when we have nothing to base our assumptions on and they are negative in nature. Examples of Mind reading: * I failed this test, my teacher must think I am so stupid * I was late to my friend’s birthday. He must think I don’t care for him enough to show up on time * I was supposed to get the callback yesterday from my job application, but the interviewer must have failed me. * My partner has been quieter than usual, he must have gotten fed up with me. To help us reframe this distortion, we will use the same techniques as the last post! These techniques can help you reframe all sorts of distortions and repeatedly practicing with them can help us get in the habit of using these models. 📢Points of Action: * Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post) * Counter your mind-reading thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience. ⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise. ⭐ When was the last time you engaged in mind reading and what actually ended up happening? Examples * I thought my friend was mad at me but it turns out he was just having a rough day * I thought my teacher hated me but I misread her firm approach as personal dislike. It turns out her firm approach helped me get a better grade. Further Reading/Recommended Resources How to stop worrying and start living chapter 4 [https://youtu.be/fKzlc_N2yxw?si=aFCJq4qQdNYVGB8J&t=2980] ------------------------- Join or leave the tag list here [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfChtZ6VwA_T5ug1RQT4T7RzPdBCxgMpV4cQWhPkYLgN33T-Q/viewform]

Learning about Cognitive Distortions: Distortion No.1: Catastrophizing

by Hope

1 hour ago

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Last week I announced the cognitive distortion series. You can read about it here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Learningaboutcognitivedistortions_313974/] Today we will be looking at the first cognitive distortion of the series, ‘catastrophizing’. Catastrophizing is when a person focuses on the worst possible outcome and treats it as likely, even when it is not. Some common examples: * I am not feeling better after this treatment. I will never get better. * I will for sure fail this test because I forgot to study chapter X. * I could not keep up with my exercise regime, I will never become physically fit. * I have not been able to keep in touch with my friend. I bet he is no longer my friend * I forgot to put the right spacing in my essay. That's it, there goes my A in this course. Other names for the distortion are magnifying, and negative fortune telling. We get what catastrophizing is now and it's likely we all do it, some more than others. But how do we tackle this, how do we stop assuming the worst possible outcome? We can do this by engaging in the following: (Taken from Glen’s post on How to Worry Less and Not Panic [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/GlensNookCommunity_547/HowtoWorryLessandNotPanic_300790/]) * What are the odds: On a scale of 1-100%, how likely is this to happen? “Okay, if I had $1000 in my pocket now, would I bet that $1000 that this would happen?” If the answer is no, then it is likely that I am worrying too much about it. * Your Personal Hit Rate: Think about how often you are right when you think of the worst-case scenarios. Don’t be selective and remember the times you were right, try to think of all the times. Chances are it's less than 2%. Then does it make sense to consider something as true when your past predicting success rate is just 2%? To truly practice reframing your thoughts when it comes to this cognitive distortion. Let's experiment for a week together! * Start a doc/take out a notebook. * Write down your personal hit rate on top of the doc/page so you can remember your level of accuracy as you look at your daunting problems. * Every time you are thinking of the worst outcome, write down what is on your mind. * Then write down another opposing (positive thought) that you believe to be true. This can be hard but if you think enough, you will find it! It helps to look into facts to support your case Due to the nature of these exercises, it is advisable that any interested listeners use their member accounts so they can freely share their experiences. What we are attempting to do is to nudge our minds away from jumping to the worst possible conclusions and present some realistic alternatives that cause us less anguish. 📢Points of Action: (Actual tasks you will need to complete if you wish to avail the series certificate, only available for a limited time) * Find out your personal hit rate, don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. * Counter your catastrophic thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience. * After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise. 📝To help us get started. Let's all share about a time when we truly believed the worst possible outcome or a very bad outcome was likely but it did not happen. (This is not the task, it is for general discussion, a place for you to start off if you feel stuck) Recommended Resources: * Forum Post: How to Worry Less and Not Pani [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/GlensNookCommunity_547/HowtoWorryLessandNotPanic_300790/]c * Book: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (Chapter 1) (the book is long, the most relevant chapter to this post is Chapter 1). [https://youtu.be/fKzlc_N2yxw?si=WM-SUIqrVQLg1Is3&t=627] Post edited on Nov 21, 2024 to clarify required tasks.

Members - Welcome to 7 Cups! Introduce yourself Here!

by Hope

15 hours ago

Introducing our new and improved forum engagement challenge!

by tommy

2 days ago

...See more Forum Engagement Challenge We are devoted to providing a supportive and inclusive space for all to interact and explore. As part of this mission, we need to evolve and increase awareness to help ensure every user gets what they deserve: a reply to their post. When a user doesn't get responded to in an adequate timeframe, it can leave them feeling disengaged and disappointed. Our forum engagement challenge is a monthly initiative to help ensure every user gets a response as soon as possible. What is the Forum Engagement challenge? The Forum Engagement Challenge is a monthly campaign where we encourage all members, including Admins, Ambassadors, leaders, and everyone in between, to actively participate in forum discussions. The goal is simple: make 7 meaningful replies within the designated period. By responding promptly to posts, whether it's welcoming new members or contributing to ongoing discussions, we can create a sense of belonging and connection that enriches our community experience. Why Participate? 1. Build Community: Engage with fellow community members to strengthen our community bonds. 2. Support: Show your support by responding to posts promptly and offering assistance where needed. How do I participate? 1. Reply to this thread to confirm your participation. We should all aim to reply to at least 7 different needs reply posts within the month, but the more the merrier! 2. Find your way to the Needs Reply Queue [https://www.7cups.com/forum/7cupsleadership/ForumGuides_2597/HowcanIviewtheneedsreplyqueue_334779/]. 3. Decide on a thread which you'd like to reply to. Consider picking one at the top of the list as these users have been waiting the longest. 4. Once you're ready, post a meaningful reply. Ensure you consider their original post and offer opportunities for further discussion. 5. Complete the form [https://forms.gle/ogwZXSg7rF72mcSW8] with a link to the thread you responded to. What do I get for participating? First of all, you get the satisfaction of supporting others. This is a reward which cannot be matched. As a thank you, we'll also award you 25 cheers for each needs reply post you respond to and will include you in our monthly leaderboard. Our monthly forum engagement leaderboard will be posted as part of our forum spotlight [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/EventsDiscussions_2666/August2024ForumDiscussionSpotlight_335746/]. So, are you ready to get involved with this initiative during the month of September? If so, comment below to confirm your participation! ------------------------- CLICK HERE FOR THE FORM TO LOG YOUR NEEDS REPLY POSTS [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfqL5FIEL3itrR794x6m4FuJT2tf9FhQ59GgBPf4GyCTtei2g/viewform] -------------------------

Learning about cognitive distortions

by Hope

2 days ago

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Did you know not everything we think is actually true? I know, shocking! But it turns out that is the case. However, it does not stop us from believing everything we think. According to the National Science Foundation, 80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of our thoughts are repetitive. If we are thinking negatively so often, we must equip ourselves with tools to help weed out the thoughts that are not true. This brings up the topic of cognitive distortions. Harvard Health describes them as ‘Internal mental filters or biases that increase our misery, fuel our anxiety, and make us feel bad about ourselves’ Examples of these distortions: * Everyone hates me * Everything sucks * I will for sure fail this test * Life will never get better * This always happens * I can never resort to anything There are many distortions but they all have one thing in common, they magnify the worst, minimize your ability to deal with negative outcomes, and make you feel pessimistic. Everyone falls victim to them but some of us more than others. But how do you save yourself when you don’t know what they are? That is why if your life feels all negative, if your days feel only gloomy, or if you feel no hope, it's worth following along with this post series and identifying these distortions to improve the quality of your life. I will be making a series of posts addressing one distortion at a time, hopefully once a week. What we will do is look at one distortion at a time, notice it in our thoughts and slowly cultivate the habit of challenging negative thoughts with more realistic less flawed thoughts. If you wish to be tagged in the posts, please fill out this form. [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfChtZ6VwA_T5ug1RQT4T7RzPdBCxgMpV4cQWhPkYLgN33T-Q/viewform] Series now open for participation. Complete all prompts given in the posts and submit the series evaluation form to earn a certificate. Deadline is November 30, 2024. All the posts made so far are linked below: * Catastrophizing [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/LearningaboutCognitiveDistortionsDistortionNo1Catastrophizing_314208/?post=3373496] * Mind Reading [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion2MindReading_314894/] * Black-and-white thinking [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion3BlackandWhiteThinking_315340/] * Personalization [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/DistortionNo4Personalization_315847/] * Emotional Reasoning [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion5EmotionalReasoning_316393/] * Fallacy of Change [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion6FallacyofChange_316886/] * Comparison [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion7Comparison_317450/] * Labeling [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion8Labelling_318392] * Should statements [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/DistortionNo9Shouldstatements_318942] * Mental Filtering [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion10MentalFiltering_319730/] * Series eval form [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdZ-Svf0igRTYst5y-r8m21scUltfV5-cfWxLyzM-tPwvLTVw/viewform] [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion10MentalFiltering_319730/] [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion10MentalFiltering_319730/] [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion10MentalFiltering_319730/]

Distortion No 9. Should statements

by Hope

2 days ago

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Today we will be talking about ‘Should’ statements in our cognitive distortions series. As the name suggests, it revolves around ‘should’ beliefs, its imposing rigid/fixed rules on self, others, the world. The world should be this way, I should be this, others should be X etc. You can usually identify these thoughts as they often carry the words ‘should, ought to and must’ The 4 types of should statements as mentioned here. [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfChtZ6VwA_T5ug1RQT4T7RzPdBCxgMpV4cQWhPkYLgN33T-Q/viewform] * Self-directed ‘shoulds’: self-imposed standards that, lead to anxiety, guilt, and shame. * Other-directed ‘shoulds’: expectations of others which, lead to anger and conflict. * World-directed ‘shoulds’: expectations around how the world should work, which can lead to frustration and entitlement. * Hidden ‘shoulds’: implicit standards revealed in our reactions (e.g., getting frustrated with oneself after making a mistake). Let's look at what this can look like for a person: * I must change my appearance to look good (This can include losing/gaining weight or getting cosmetic procedures done) * He should have spent more time with me. (Often we think of these shoulds after a relationship falls through) * I should be happier in life * This lecture should be more research-based As always, it's only an issue if it's starting to impact the quality of your life. Sometimes we have to think hard even to notice that it is. In moderation, should statements are not always bad, It is good to think about how we can improve but it becomes an issue when we use these shoulds as a way to avoid responsibility, you say you failed a class because the class should have been easier but does that change your grade? Or you may be waiting to achieve a very unique physique and discounting all that you currently are. For this distortion, we will be doing the following! Notice when a should statement pops up, likely, reading this post has already brought to your attention your more prominent should thoughts. Ask yourself the following questions: * If you took out the ‘should/must/ought to’ how will you see this situation? * Where did this should statement start? (Where did this belief originate, this helps us figure out if these are even our own) Once you have explored the statement and have a better understanding of it. The second step is to soften the words a bit. You can want things without imposing such fixed/rigid beliefs. Lastly, it helps to reflect on this from a more compassionate outsider perspective by assuming this is your friend who is dealing with this. * Change the terms of should/must/ to lighter terms like ‘prefer/wish’ * What would you say to a friend who is imposing such fixed/rigid rules/behaviors on themself? Let's see what it can look like when you do this exercise: Please take a moment to complete the exercise and share your thoughts with us! ------------------------- View the full list of distortions covered here! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Learningaboutcognitivedistortions_313974/] Join the tag list to be tagged on these posts here! [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfChtZ6VwA_T5ug1RQT4T7RzPdBCxgMpV4cQWhPkYLgN33T-Q/viewform]

Listeners - Welcome to 7 Cups! Introduce yourself Here!

by Hope

3 days ago

Distortion 8. Labelling

by Hope

3 days ago

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Time for another cognitive distortion post. Today we will be talking about ‘Labeling’. Labeling can be seen as a more extreme form of overgeneralization. As the name suggests, it involves assigning labels to yourself, others, and events. Examples of labeling: * Classifying someone as innocent or sneaky based on one interaction. * Thinking you are stupid for not doing well in a specific field * Believing someone else is not competent based on one or two skills alone. Like most cognitive distortions, it will at times overlap with other distortions such as generalization and binary thinking (black-and-white thinking). What makes it stand out is the focus on labels. What we can learn from this distortion is to pause when we put a label on ourselves, someone else, or something, especially a negative label, and truly reflect on the validity of that label. Is your friend really awful for ignoring you or is he struggling to cope with his changed environment and as a result unable to respond to you? You may think why you would want to stop labeling. Because it paints a false picture of reality and stops you from seeing things as they are and many times makes you more miserable than you have to be. When we label someone, something, or even ourselves, it really disrupts our peace and at times makes it hard for us to appreciate people and even our own selves. People and situations are often too complex to fit into these labels. A better way of seeing things is to label behaviors rather than individuals, this way you can actually provide constructive feedback or even work on fixing those behaviors within you. If you believe you suck at making friends, that's not helpful but if you reflect on it and realize you have trouble starting conversations, you can now work on it without feeling poorly about yourself. It's also more specific and therefore more actionable. Let us again practice reframing our thoughts! For this distortion, it is helpful to reflect on why you gave it the label and what facts/observations can oppose the label so you can see the whole picture We will use the same technique we have been using in other posts: 📢Points of Action: * Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall yours from our last posts) * Counter your negative thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience. Reflect on a time when you labeled something or someone and later changed your mind. Please share with us!

Distortion 7. Comparison

by Hope

3 days ago

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you have been well. Another week, another post on cognitive distortion. I hope you have gotten the chance to read the previous posts. If not, you can do so here! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Learningaboutcognitivedistortions_313974/] I was thinking of what distortion to tackle next and then I came across one that I believe most human beings can benefit from. It is ‘Comparison’. So it should be noted that not all comparison is bad, nor can we classify them every time we compare something as bad. It is at some level required for us to make sense of things. For example, we compare the prices of different products before making a selection, we weigh out the pros and cons of selecting a certain school for a specific degree, all that is perfectly fine. It is even okay to compare our life situations with someone else to feel inspired! Your friend who failed half the classes last year is scoring As this year, how inspiring! Nothing wrong with feeling more motivated to do better on your grades. However, where it becomes an issue is when we fixate on other’s accomplishments and don’t give ourselves enough credit. So if you feel bad because your friend is improving more in grades than you are then its an issue. Or we pick out the setbacks of someone to feel better about our lack of effort. In both cases, comparing our situation with someone else when we don’t have all the facts or we have vastly different circumstances. Examples of ways in which comparison is not helpful with a potential reality in the brackets to help you reflect on what we miss when we make these comparisons. * My friend is so much happier than me. She can buy anything she likes. (Her parents are rich but the family never spends any real time together. She wishes she could have a family like yours) * Stacey looks so much better than me. She just naturally likes healthy foods. I wish I was like that (Stacey struggles with an eating disorder and is not comfortable making that public) * My neighbor bought a brand-new car, mine breaks down every other week. This just sucks (The neighbor is a retired 60-year-old person, and you are 30, and it is natural to not be able to afford the same) Comparison as a cognitive distortion is a tad bit tricky. It's a problem when it becomes recurrent and it starts to bother you. If you are consistently finding yourself living your life just trying to catch up to everyone else without real consideration for what you truly want, then you need to address it. Some reasons why we compare: * We want to fit in. We think we won’t be accepted if we won’t look a certain way, have certain things. This could be true for certain groups of people. But that just means they are not a good fit for you. If you need to maintain a lifestyle beyond your means to fit in with a group of people, they are not your people! * We feel insecure, we lack self-esteem so we look around ourselves hoping to feel better if we can have a better house or more popular friends then perhaps we are worthy? In reality, no materialistic thing or a social group can help you feel more secure/increase your self-esteem. That's a job for yourself. * Society insists we follow certain standards. Perhaps your mom comments on your weight which makes you want to look a certain way. Maybe your rich friends are more respected than you are and you crave that respect but society is not a reliable friend. The standards can change and the same things it pushed for can again become undesirable. So well what do we do about our need to have things simply because someone has them or be like someone else because they seem happier? We can work on our self esteem and sense of worth. Here are a few ways we can work on it: * Starting and ending your day on a grateful note. Start your day thinking of what you have, not what you don’t and end it on the same note. * Consistently incorporate some way you can feel fulfilled or useful. Volunteering is typically a good way to go about it. You can volunteer at your local animal shelter, some local charity or even 7 Cups! But you need to do something you truly care for. * Make an attempt to reflect on what you are missing when you are idolizing a certain someone or something. Is it really something you want or does that help you feel a certain way you desire to feel? Do you want that better car because its reliable or because you like the way people treat your neighbor when he drives it. * Realize that if you did not have what you have now, there is a good chance you would be jealous of yourself. So for this post we are gonna practice reframing a bit differently. Here is how we will tackle our need to compare. I encourage you to do this for a week! 1. Start your day by recalling 3 things you are grateful for. End the day with the same. This can be the same things every day or different, does not matter. Could be so small as a good cup of coffee or as big as a roof over your head. 2. Every day do something for someone else. Even a smile counts. Listening to a member on 7 cups for a few minutes in a group room counts. Checking in on your stressed-out friend with genuine interest counts. 3. When you find yourself longing for something someone else: * Pause, and ask yourself if it has true value in your life? Do you really need the Gucci perfume your friend bought that you never thought of before this moment? * If not then what are you really desiring? 4. Take a piece of paper, write down every good thing about yourself and truly take a moment to reflect on how many people would love to have these qualities, skills and even possessions. Then reflect on what it would be like if you woke up one day and did not have some of it? Perhaps you go from being great at writing to not know how to write or maybe you lose your ability to play your favorite sport. This negative visualization can bring into perspective the many things you take for granted. Further Resources: Zero Sum thinking [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HsHangout_1970/CommunityLessonsRecognitionandZeroSumThinking_224428/]

Taking Care of Each Other - Preventing Burnout at 7 Cups

by Hope

Sunday

Community /

Site Updates

Ask questions, get support and make friends

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Talk to an expert therapist

Hi, my name is Melissa and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. I hope...

@determinedHuman6138

@takemedicine

@Aashita10

@MarinaLexi

@MaiSky

@QuietMagic

@Mhb1968

@WeeCuppaTea

@Phoenixthepoised

@Selaviexx

@maia102

@Nistar

@SoothingVision

@incredibleRainbows2036

@LittleSunshine2036

@calmconversation31

@kindDog7375

@spiritonsinus

@LoraSusans

@hxrsheyx

Community Leaders

Community Mentor Leader

Community Resources

Don’t miss a message!

The 7 Cups app is available on iOS and Android

Community /

Site Updates

Ask questions, get support and make friends

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Talk to an expert therapist

Hi, my name is Melissa and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. I hope...

@determinedHuman6138

@takemedicine

@Aashita10

@MarinaLexi

@MaiSky

@QuietMagic

@Mhb1968

@WeeCuppaTea

@Phoenixthepoised

@Selaviexx

@maia102

@Nistar

@SoothingVision

@incredibleRainbows2036

@LittleSunshine2036

@calmconversation31

@kindDog7375

@spiritonsinus

@LoraSusans

@hxrsheyx

Filter by Topic

Community Leaders

Community Mentor Leader

Community Resources

Personal Conversation Requests

General Conversation Requests

New Messages