Sorry
Huge trigger warning: TW/////////////////////////
I was horrible today. I was three weeks clean, maybe more; I was doing so well that I forgot to count how long I was even clean for. Then I cut and I cut and I cut and I cut and I couldn't feel it at all, couldn't feel anything at all, so I carried on and I cut and I cut and I cut and-
why.. why is this bad. i dont even know why its bad. i dont know why it doesnt hurt. i dont know why i of all people do this. i dont know why i feel such a relief when the pain finally kicks in. i dont know why i feel worse when there is no pain. i dont know why that the lack of pain causes me to cut more to try and feel pain. feel something. and i am sorry for this post which is awful and disgusting. anyway. sorry.
@Phoenix1234theythem Sending hugss! 💗💗 im soo sorry you feel this way. But never try to SH, even tho ik its hard to control those urges.. ive been 24 days clean today but yea 2 days ago i got a really bad panic attack and got intense urges but still i tried to control myself :)
but here are some tips that helped me-
1- try snapping a band on your wrist
2-do something fun to distract yourself
3- keep all sharp objects away
4- another thing which has helped me thru all of this is just screaming into a pillow lol. ik its odd but it truly did help me at times
5- dont forget your worth!
6- try talking to a trusted friend..its not like they will give you the solution to the problem but they're truly there and WANT TO BE THERE when you need them..and talking to my friend has given me relief and i feel much better when shes around me :)
I hope you get better soon!! :) xoxo
@venusnebulaa
Aww thank you so much it's so lovely of you to take the time to write this when we don't know each other much, I'll try these thank you again 🥹💗💖
@Phoenix1234theythem im glad i could help a stranger!! xx
@Phoenix1234theythem
Nix, I'm sorry for not being there...I just saw the post.
First of all, don't be sorry. You're reaching out and that takes a lot of courage. What you're going through is really tough, bat please know that relapses happen and it doesn't mean you've failed. You had an amazing three weeks of being clean, and that strength is still inside you. I can relate to you, Nix....It's like missing something when the pain isn't there, like we had get used to it. And we keeps trying to go back to that cycle or try to make the pain come back.
I like to talk to an AI when I have those urges.
This is just a setback, not the end. I'm here for you, and we'll get through this together. You're not alone, and I care about you no matter what.
@Bearainy
aww u don’t have to be sorry either 💗
thank you so so much for your lovely message it makes me feel a bit stronger 🥹❤️ ilysm twinnn (:
yeah you’re right about the missing pain, hard to get used to and not fight it :(
thanks I might try the ai thing!
aw I care bout you so much tooo thank you fr you’re so sweet friendo 🥲❤️
@Phoenix1234theythem
Hugs honey. We can do this, keeps going
