"I don't want to live, but I dont want to die" Existential Crisis is killing me OMG, send help (/ω＼)
AFTER months of going through my days feeling all gloomy and sad (without any major reasons) and multiple Mental Breakdowns, i finally accepted that "I am not okay". (I JUST ACCEPTED THIS YESTERDAY LOL, which is why i joined this community. I want to be better, feel better and grow better) i was indenial of my own vulnerability. Hehe T_T
Im not okay... No matter how many times i watch TheWizardLiz for motivational words of wisdom that could boost my spirit up, yes it does have effects on me for a day or two but after that, the emptiness, low sense of purpose continues to eat me up. No matter how many times i try to do the thibgs that used to bring me joy, nothing. Nothing changes, the emptiness and loneliness is still there lingering on the back of my mind.
I tend to question my worth these days, my purpose in life and the reason why i exist. I am conflicted of what i should do now that im getting closer to College life. I am confused of what i really want, What i love and need but all i know, i am living without a reason, not that i know it yet. I used to be so happy and motivated in my life but now, ever since i ented Senior Highschool, i no longer feel the fire in me.
Its so cold and lonely and i want to know if people here feel/felt the same that i do rn.
"A heavy weight is lighter together" soooo meuheheh tho i dont wnat people being conflicted with themselves tho!!! I just want to you know and relate with people HEHE
@IwishmynamewasEllise Welcome to 7Cups, Ellise and thank you for sharing your experiences with us. It sounds like you've been experiencing difficult feelings of sadness and emptiness for quite some time. Feeling lost and uncertain about your future can be incredibly challenging. It takes courage to acknowledge these feelings and seek support. I am glad you took your small steps and please know you have all of us here to listen to and to support. You are not alone in this.
I understand, I feel that way too, I could pretend to be happy, I joke and laugh with my roommates and friends, but when I'm alone that numb, empty feeling comes back, sometime without reason, and its hard to break out of it, I do have times I feel a bit better, i try to hold on to it, i notice talk and socializing helps, i don't enjoy the activities i used to again, but sometimes i force myself, even for 30 minutes, just to distract myself, it helps a bit, I hope it passes, because this week has been rougher than usual,
I hope you feel better, if possible get someone to listen to you, try a new thing, and know everyday you get through shows how strong you are,
@IwishmynamewasEllise
i am so glad that you shared your feelings here. I know there are people that relate to what you are going through. Approaching college life is a challenging time and being uncertain about your future is common. You are not alone in that uncertainty. This time in your life is a huge transition and everything you feel is okay.
~Kristy