Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check In: Saturday, January 25th, 2020
Hello every-amazing-one! I am really glad to hear from you again. 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
Have you got to practice any self-care lately? What is your favourite self-care activity? :)
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@redmark Hey Red - How are you?
Been pretty depressed this week with a few bouts of anxiety thrown in just to keep it interesting. I've had a few moments of not thinking - just - well - not taking other peoples feelings into consideration here and they were hurt in the process. And I have TBH - this really weighs on my mind. It's sort of helped reinforce the thoughts and feelings of not being good enough. Not being good for people. It causes urges - that need for punishment. But then - theres time when things are so numb - the urge is there - just to feel something. Sorry - thats probably TMI.
Needless to say this has been a hard week. Self care has been kind of tossed out the window. Some days eating doesn't happen - some days sleep doesn't either. And I spend alot of times wallowing in self hatred and isolation. Sometimes it bothers me - but at the same time - I also feel as though I deserve it. I've even lost music for the time being. Some noise sensitivities. Which - it's music - how I express things but with it missing - Idk - kind of like I lost a piece of myself. Sorry this isn't too positive of a post.
Thank you for the check-in Red. Take care - yeah? Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts
Hey there @mytwistedsoul *offering safe hugs* (no pressure, just in case)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am doing okay, thank you for asking. A bit tired but I have this evening for myself, which is nice :)
There is no need to be sorry for venting and I can see that you have a lot on your mind. Just take a deep breath and remember that you are not alone in this here, we are in this together. :)
I am terrified of hurting others you know and I have been trying my best to not hurt people but, well, as I might already have mentioned I have still done - unintentionally. I mean, the point is that it's just something that is most likely inevitable to happen if you letting your guards down and try to connect with others but I think the good thing about this place is that we all are in a similar situation and we do understand that things like this happen.
Do not be so hard on yourself just tell whoever you have hurt that you have not meant it and that you have been going through a pretty hard time and, the hardest part, give them some time and I am sure that they will understand. :)
I am saying this from experience, do not let this consume you. You are not the person who have had hurt them. Of course, it is a part of you but there is just so much more to you, so much more amazing things and if you allow this self-hatred to consume you it....it is a really tough cycle to break out of and might end up not being in the best mindset when you may be able to resolve the issue and might do more damage - I mean, I know I did.
You are a kind and caring person and you are not your mistakes. You are loved, cared for and you do deserve it. Never forget that! And I know that it is easy to dismiss these words when you are in this mindset so if anything, just remember one thing: You are not alone in this, you are important and I - for one - do care about you. :)
To quote a wise person: Take care - yeah? Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts.
@redmark Thank you Red -
For your kind words and for being you. Your post really touched me and I appreciate all the nice things you've said. I'm so thankful I had the chance to get to know you alittle better.
Stay awesome Red
How are you feeling today? I'm feeling pretty good!
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? This week has been full of ups and downs, but they finally know what's wrong so we can now work towards a better treatment!
Have you got to practice any self-care lately? What is your favourite self-care activity? I've been taking an hour before bed to myself and shutting off my laptop and phone. I've gotten back into reading and writing.
Hey there @Goldcherry2113 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to have you here with us!
I am glad to hear that you are feeling good! :)
Oww, I am sorry to hear that you have had such a long week. I am glad to hear that you have got a diagnoses tho. I know that it can be a real hassle to get to it but it sure can help a lot to get the best treatment :)
Oh, I should do that as well. Just get off all the Electronics I have for some time before going to bed. It is really awesome of you that you are doing that and just spend some time with reading and writing like that. :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark Thank you for your kind words. I love hugs so thank you! I hope you're doing well!
How are you feeling today? :)
I've been feeling pretty low energy all day and a little grumpy because of it
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
It was ok, I think I'm getting used to the new busier schedule
Have you got to practice any self-care lately? What is your favourite self-care activity?
I've been getting snuggly in bed, nice and warm
Hey there @Madaraismyspiritanimal *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am sorry to hear that you have not had too much energy. It sure can be tough to deal with that.
I do hope tho that once you will get used to this new busier schedule of you you will have more energy as I knot that I struggle as well when my schedule changes a lot. :)
That is probably the best thing you can do in winter really, just getting all snuggly, nice, and warm. :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
Hmmm
I'm feeling guilt sad last Thursday my godma had passed away due to pancreas cancer , the reason I feel guilt as nobody told me she's suffering from cancer for 2 years what's more I didn't manage to see her for the last time . The last time I saw her was on somewhere near Nov , while I was in the bus going to work I ask her for selfie but she rejected if I knew I would ask her ...😢 I know now its day 1 lunar new year my ❤ are thinking of her 🙏 thank you I would appreciate that you would gave me an virtual hugs . Good night from here , 😴
Hey there @jazmine1986 *hugs*
It is really nice to have you here with us!
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing someone so close to you is really though especially so sudden - given that you have not known of her condition. I know that there are just so many thoughts and feelings going through your head and I just want you to know that whatever way you feel it is okay - there is no good or bad way of grieving. Also, that you are not alone in this. Grieving is hard and we tend to isolate ourselves but, trust me, people do care about your and your feelings and it is okay to share them if and when you may feel ready. In fact, it is a good way of healing as well. :)
No pressure tho, just take your time, take it one step at a time. :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
Thank you so much for your 🐧 hugs ,
I feel so much better .... 😉