Building Self-esteem: Self-esteem and all that it impacts!
Hi everyone! I hope you are well. Time for the first post in our building self-esteem series. Today is a bit of an introductory post to the topic, the intent is for you to better understand why working on your self-esteem is so important and how it can hold you back from a better life.
Think of self-esteem as your internal GPS. It helps you navigate life with confidence, knowing you're worthy and capable. It's how you see yourself - your strengths, weaknesses, and everything in between. When your self-esteem is high, you're like a superhero, ready to take on challenges and embrace new experiences. But when it's low, things get rocky. You might feel insecure, doubt yourself, and struggle to reach your full potential. How far can we go with a GPS that is not working well?
What does this self-esteem impact? Pretty much everything
- Relationships: With strong self-esteem, you attract healthy connections based on mutual respect and appreciation. You also communicate better, set boundaries, and avoid unhealthy attachments.
- Mental health: Feeling good about yourself is your shield against negativity. You bounce back from setbacks easier, experience less stress and anxiety, and enjoy a more positive outlook on life.
- Motivation and achievement: When you believe in yourself, you tackle goals with gusto. You're less afraid of failure, take risks, and keep striving for success.
- Physical health: Self-esteem even influences your physical well-being. You're more likely to make healthy choices about food, exercise, and self-care when you value yourself.
This is all well but how do you know you can benefit from building self-esteem? Some of us already have an idea of where we stand in terms of our self-esteem, others don’t and that is okay. We can look at the symptoms/signs of low self-esteem to check if we may benefit from working on this area of life. I can not put enough emphasis on the fact that we are not trying to label ourselves with low self-esteem as the label is of no use to us, we are here to work on ourselves! This list is here to help you decide if working on your self-esteem can improve the quality of your life. Beyond that, there is little benefit to knowing your level of self-esteem.
Here are the signs of low self-esteem!
- Negative self-talk: Tendency to engage in negative self-talk, putting themselves down and focusing on their flaws. They might say things like "I'm not good enough," "I'll never succeed," or "I'm a failure."
- Difficulty accepting compliments: have trouble accepting compliments, brushing them off, or deflecting them. They might believe the compliments are insincere or that they don't deserve them. This may not apply to you if you come from a culture where disregarding compliments is considered a part of humility/humbleness.
- People-pleasing: go to great lengths to please others, even if it means sacrificing their own needs or wants. They might do this because they believe they need to be liked or approved of to be worthy.
- Fear of failure: may be afraid to take risks or try new things because they're afraid of failing. They might avoid challenges or opportunities altogether, believing they're not capable of success.
- Social isolation: may withdraw from social activities and relationships because they don't feel like they belong or that they're not good enough for others.
- Poor self-care: may neglect their physical and emotional health. They might not eat healthy, exercise regularly, or get enough sleep. They may also engage in self-destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse or self-harm.
If the list resonates with you. If half or more of it applies to you then this series may be of benefit to you. You can still participate even if you do not relate to any of the above points. It is perfectly okay and even encouraged to participate regardless of your self-esteem level.
Discussion Questions:
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
- Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
You may answer a minimum of two questions or all of the above questions! (The instructions apply to everyone who is working towards the Braving Self badge and intends to partake in the whole series. If that is not you, you can participate however you like!)
Tagging everyone who signed for the taglist.
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@Hope I'm interested in all of them but I guess the negative self talk stands out to me the most because it seems to lead to the other things listed - like isolation - trouble with compliments - poor self care and fear of failure
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you for sharing!
I agree negative self-talk is one of those things that are part of a cycle. less self-esteem can make that voice negative and that negative voice can keep you stuck with low self-esteem or reduce it even more
@Hope Is the board/ community "Mastering Your Goals" supported with people who reply to questions, or is it an old project where no one reponds?
@Hope
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about? Fear of Failure or Fear in general since fear rules my life.
- Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success. There is no one I admire. That is an emotion I am not in touch with.
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why? My career. If I was not afraid to be seen a work I could be making much more money then I am now.
@Gettingbettertoday
I can think numerous people sidling as coz he’s and tv therapists who souls have a difficult time helping others if they had low self-esteem.
I want more self-esteem in being able to socialize with others. I often feel inferior and feel like some people don’t respect me.
1. All of the above, really.
2. I imagine my singing teacher from the past wouldn't have been able to perform in Carnegie Hall if she was full of self-doubt to the point she couldn't show up.
3. Setting boundaries, self-care, and overcoming fear of failure.
@Zeraphim
I love that you can think of a person you know for the example. I hope you can see some benefit on these areas by the end of the series!
@Hope
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about? I'd say fear of failure.
- Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success. if that person had a fear of failure, right now they wouldn't be in college.
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why? my academics work, as i really lack there.
@KateDoskocilova
Thank you for being honest! I think the person you are thinking of likely also had fear related to different parts of college if not college in general. It is okay to have fear! We just need to do what we need to do even when we are afraid
@Hope
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
I have 2 areas. First is academics. It would be nice to start doing well in academics. I try but I g I am not trying enough.
Second is defending myself. Whenever someone says something to me, I find myself not able to reply, I start to stutter and just make a fool of myself which makes the situation worse instead of defending myself. My inability to defend myself is what I believe the major reason is as to why people treat me like they do.
@tidyHickory3283
I am noticing a theme. It seems that a lot of fear failure and it makes sense, we are almost taught to fear it.
It is great that you are able to pinpoint the areas that can benefit from an improved self-esteem.
@Hope
Yeah! I believe that if we were taught to face failures and overcome them instead of being shamed and discouraged because of failures which in turn teaches us to fear failures then our lives would have been much better. I think many people who struggle with mental health are associated with fear of failures so the world would have been a better place for them had we been taught to face failures.
Thank you! <3
1) I'm really curious to know how a life where pleasing others is not prioriry number one, honestly, that's all I've ever done. Although I'm making steps towards changing this I need to maintain it and I feel like I have a tendency to people please instead of standing my grounds.
I also do tend to isolate quite a bit and it doesn't feel wrong since I'm very introverted but something tells me I should break this tendency... I'm confused as to what is the right level of sociability.
3) I would like more confidence on social interactions so that I can enjoy them in a healthier way, learn to navigate their challenges rather than just step away from them, and learning how to choose the right relationships rather than accepting whatever comes.
@Suen00
I am glad that you are already working on improving your people-pleasing tendencies.
That is a great question you raise about isolation and social balance as an introvert. Only you can decide that and a good way to make that decision is by reflecting on the time you found yourself most fulfilled/happy with your level of social interactions and then see how that is different from where you are currently.
Improved self-esteem can help with social interactions.
I feel like working home by myself gives me the right amount of need to be with people so that after work I want to socialise. Being all day surrounded by people makes me want to take my own time.
I find that strange, since this is not what most people do...
@Hope
Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
I can see myself in most of the points mentioned when dealing with low self-esteem. So I'd be happy to improve in each point. If I have to pick one, though, I'd choose fear of failure. I feel like I deny myself so much success because I'm constantly afraid of failure. And when anything goes wrong, I'll take that as a point to prove this to myself.
Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
I definitely admire KenneyNL. He creates public domain video game assets, is currently creating a space for independent video game developers in Netherlands and provides quite a lot of useful tools to get started as a video game developer. A lack of self-esteem wouldn't have made any of that possible for him, I think. In each of these three areas, he was rather bold to push forward and do his own thing. Without learning from mistakes, prioritizing his own goals or standing up again after failure, I don't think this would have been possible.
If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
My professional career. Currently, I'm a software developer / software architecture consultant. I'd love to become a video game developer in the long run, however. I feel like here I could make a leap forward if I were able to trust myself more.
@cautiousVixen
It is great that you are acknowledging how your fear is holding you back. I also hope you are able to work on these points.
Kenney sounds like someone creative and successful. I can see how he likely has a high self-esteem. It is interesting how you acknowledged that he learned from his mistakes. Now imagine where he would be if he let fear win.
It looks like an improved self esteem can make a great deal of difference in your life. I hope you follow our series!
@Hope
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about? I am the most interested in learning about how negative self talk affects my self esteem and some new solutions to that negative self talk. I tend to have a lot of negative self talk and I would love to learn some new skills to manage the negative chatter in my mind. :)
- Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success. I admire my sister. She is a surgery technician at a large metropolitan animal shelter however she has a masters degree in journalism and advertising. She worked in Corporate America for many years before she decided that she would much rather work with animals. I believe that her lack of self esteem affects her relationships with clients in her advertising career and that was why she chose to work with animals instead.
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why? I would have to say that my physical health is the area of my life that I would love to have the most positive impact from buildling self esteem. I truly believe in the mind body connection and the negative self talk and low self esteem definitely contributes to my medical issues.
@Kristynsmama
Good to see you here!
I love how you have someone in your family that you admire. It is interesting that you can admire someone and still acknowledge the ways they are held back by some aspect of their life. I think too often we try to look for perfect people to admire.
That is a unique take on the benefits of high self-esteem. I also think the more you value yourself, the more likely are to take care of yourself.
I would like to focus on decreasing my negative talk. I want to be gentle and forgiving with myself. I need to understand that people with high self-esteem do not have to be perfect.
I admire Kat Graham and Persia White. I think they are both unique, brave, and intelligent women. Neither of them create mainstream music, but they seem happy and content expressing themselves. They never would have been working actors and performers with low self-esteem.
@modestKat1982
i actually think that a lot of actors and performers have low self esteem and they hide it behind their talent.
@Hope Thank you for the tag. Please excuse me for responding so late.
1. Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
I am interested in learning more about how social isolation. How can we be sure someone who socially isolates from others is really in fact struggling with low self esteem? I ask because I am definitely that type in "real life". I just always thought it was because I was an introvert and wanted to avoid the awkwardness, lol. So I definitely would like to know more about this.
2. Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
I won't mention no one person specifically, because low self esteem can affect anyone and impact their success in life. If someone does not put themself out there to even attempt to try and grow then they may never progress anywhere in life. Their way of thinking because of low self esteem will make them believe they are not good enough to do this or achieve that and then they would have never be able to discover their full potential.
3. If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
I would like to improve in the area of poor self-care. The end of last year recently, I was finally able to admit to and embrace the fact that I needed to pull away and self care-- but it was more on the emotional and mental aspect. I would like to continue self caring in that way but this time work on the physical. I guess I can't really self care the proper way if physically my body is neglected. I am guilty of not sleeping properly, not eating healthy, and not being active. I am constantly told if I don't use it, I will lose it. So I know this is something I need to work, so I can have a better quality of life and be there for my family.
@YourCaringConfidant
I think only you can decide if your social isolation is making you feel lonely/disconnected. But the point about avoiding awkwardness is an indication that you are self isolating to avoid discomfort.
I am glad you are able to identify areas of improvement. That is a good start