Building Self-esteem: Self-esteem and all that it impacts!
Hi everyone! I hope you are well. Time for the first post in our building self-esteem series. Today is a bit of an introductory post to the topic, the intent is for you to better understand why working on your self-esteem is so important and how it can hold you back from a better life.
Think of self-esteem as your internal GPS. It helps you navigate life with confidence, knowing you're worthy and capable. It's how you see yourself - your strengths, weaknesses, and everything in between. When your self-esteem is high, you're like a superhero, ready to take on challenges and embrace new experiences. But when it's low, things get rocky. You might feel insecure, doubt yourself, and struggle to reach your full potential. How far can we go with a GPS that is not working well?
What does this self-esteem impact? Pretty much everything
- Relationships: With strong self-esteem, you attract healthy connections based on mutual respect and appreciation. You also communicate better, set boundaries, and avoid unhealthy attachments.
- Mental health: Feeling good about yourself is your shield against negativity. You bounce back from setbacks easier, experience less stress and anxiety, and enjoy a more positive outlook on life.
- Motivation and achievement: When you believe in yourself, you tackle goals with gusto. You're less afraid of failure, take risks, and keep striving for success.
- Physical health: Self-esteem even influences your physical well-being. You're more likely to make healthy choices about food, exercise, and self-care when you value yourself.
This is all well but how do you know you can benefit from building self-esteem? Some of us already have an idea of where we stand in terms of our self-esteem, others don’t and that is okay. We can look at the symptoms/signs of low self-esteem to check if we may benefit from working on this area of life. I can not put enough emphasis on the fact that we are not trying to label ourselves with low self-esteem as the label is of no use to us, we are here to work on ourselves! This list is here to help you decide if working on your self-esteem can improve the quality of your life. Beyond that, there is little benefit to knowing your level of self-esteem.
Here are the signs of low self-esteem!
- Negative self-talk: Tendency to engage in negative self-talk, putting themselves down and focusing on their flaws. They might say things like "I'm not good enough," "I'll never succeed," or "I'm a failure."
- Difficulty accepting compliments: have trouble accepting compliments, brushing them off, or deflecting them. They might believe the compliments are insincere or that they don't deserve them. This may not apply to you if you come from a culture where disregarding compliments is considered a part of humility/humbleness.
- People-pleasing: go to great lengths to please others, even if it means sacrificing their own needs or wants. They might do this because they believe they need to be liked or approved of to be worthy.
- Fear of failure: may be afraid to take risks or try new things because they're afraid of failing. They might avoid challenges or opportunities altogether, believing they're not capable of success.
- Social isolation: may withdraw from social activities and relationships because they don't feel like they belong or that they're not good enough for others.
- Poor self-care: may neglect their physical and emotional health. They might not eat healthy, exercise regularly, or get enough sleep. They may also engage in self-destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse or self-harm.
If the list resonates with you. If half or more of it applies to you then this series may be of benefit to you. You can still participate even if you do not relate to any of the above points. It is perfectly okay and even encouraged to participate regardless of your self-esteem level.
Discussion Questions:
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
- Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
You may answer a minimum of two questions or all of the above questions! (The instructions apply to everyone who is working towards the Braving Self badge and intends to partake in the whole series. If that is not you, you can participate however you like!)
@Hope
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about? Motivation, I have lived without purpose, motivation or goals for almost 5 years.
- Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc.) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success. I don't admire anyone, I have no heroes. That being said you could apply this to any successful person and say that they would not have succeeded without motivation. I certainly can't.
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why? See First question.
@Gettingbettertoday
That must have been challenging to exist without a sense of direction for that many years.
I think there are successful people who lack motivation but have discipline. Discipline seems to matter more than motivation. Which is a good thing, it means we don't have to rely on a feeling to start doing the things we need to do
@Hope
Without a goal or direction my discipline doesn't matter. I have tried re-engaging with my old hobbies because I was told this would rekindle my interest. I have been doing blacksmithing for over a year now and I have not regained my enthusiasm for it.
2 aspects probly negative self talk n social isolation cos i dont have friends irl
i admire eminem cos he dosnt let stuff bother him he just keeps going all the time even tho hes been through a lot
N if i could change a aspect of my life would be to have more friends
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
- Negative self-talk
- Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
- I have a friend who is very successful. Although he makes plenty of mistakes he is very positive and energetic. If he chose to fall to low-esteem he would not be as successful for sure.
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
- Getting back to work instead of being on disability.
@IchooseLife79
I am glad you have a friend who is a good example of not letting the negative self-chatter get to you.
For the negative self-talk, I recommend also checking out the cognitive distortion series.
I am most curious about fear of failure and difficulty accepting compliments. I have touched on these in the last but I am not sure I fully understand where this gets in my way.
One area I would like to I would like to see the most impact is in people pleasing. I know I so this in particular with family. I am pretty good at not sacrificing in other areas. When it comes to family, it's a whole different ballgame.
@HealingGriz
Thank you for sharing with us. We have a post in the series on fear of failure which you may benefit from. You can read it here.
Hello, @Hope I am Ethan,
Here are my responses to your post!
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
I am most interested in building self-esteem about self-care, which I feel that I have the ability to do so in some circumstances, but in others maybe not so much. I would love to learn how to feel more confident around people and not have to worry so much about what others think about me when i do certain tasks, like working out or walking around to exercise. I am trying to improve my inner self-image and feel better about myself inside and out!
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
If I could choose one area of life where I would like to see the most positive impact, it would most likely be about my perception of my inner self versus my outer self and 'fitting-in' with other people.
Let me know if you have any questions or would simply like to reach out and talk!
@Hope
• Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about? - Poor self-care. I'm most interested in learning physical and mental health because I can hardly feel myself, most of the time I'm a foreigner to my own body.
• Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success. - I heard his story and learned how important self-esteem was for him personally and his career. He wouldn't be in the position he is now if he didn't grow out of it.
• If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why? - Mental health. This area of my life really needed the most positive impact. The other areas are dragged down because of it. I'm a negative person, I stress a lot and very anxious ever since I was a kid.
Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
Dealing with fear of failure.
Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc.) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
I’m thinking of a teacher of mine. If she lacked self-esteem, she wouldn’t be this successful teacher and psychiatrist with many achievements. She wouldn’t be able to present herself as well as she does. Her well-being would be impacted as well.
If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
Academics/career. My perfectionism and fear of failure often makes me freeze and prevents me from reaching my full potential.
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
Honestly, all of the above is really relatable and I'd like to think of it as a chain of responses/ activities, one thing impacting/ influencing the other. For instance, someone who speaks to themself kindly and is capable of looking out for themself/ knowing their worth is more accepting of compliments and less likely to fall into people-pleasing behaviours (to a greater length) as well as be willing to work on their self-care, improve their relationship with self.
To pick one, I'd like to learn/get better at speaking more kindly to myself and self care!
- Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
Oh wow, very thought provoking, I feel it could impact them quite negatively in the respect that they wouldn't really be where they are, if they lacked self-esteem and didn't have the inner resources to work on them.
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
I feel, my mental health or health in general, because I know it is an important aspect and will surely impact all the other areas significantly too hehe.
@Hope
Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
I'm most interested in learning about negative self-talk, because that's what affects me the most. I'm also curious about difficulty accepting compliments.
If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
I'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem when dealing with negative comments, criticism, yelling, name-calling, etc. from my mother. This is because I remember that when I was younger and my self-esteem wasn't gone, I used to deal with my mother a lot better than I do now. I took her words casually and jokingly and didn't pay much attention to them. Now I do the opposite, I take them seriously and I pay attention to them. And it makes me more depressed and brings my self-esteem down even more. I think if I'm able to work on building self-esteem, it might really help me in dealing with my mother and my depression.
@Hope
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
all of them
- Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
i think my wrestling coach probably would have gotten hurt if he had had low self esteem
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
my relationship with my ex because he is a wonderful person who i miss and wish i could be with agin