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staying safe on 7cups

FreeToFly December 10th, 2016

The topic of not sharing personal info on 7cups is pretty clear throughout the site for us all to see.. guests members and listeners alike.

While it's no surprise that this rule is broken by some people.. The extent of the emotional damage it can cause is horrendous.
It's becoming more and apparent just how serious this rule break can be.

I understand that friendships are built here and there can be frustrations that those friendships can't be extended to a more social level. But I would like to believe that most of us stick to those rules that are in place.

However, my concern is how often I hear personally from members that they have connected with listeners only to find they are pressured into sharing their personal details.

7 cups is supposed to be safe place to come for those in need of support and for the most part that's exactly what is provided here.

I know that there are a fraction of members/guests who connect with us to satisfy their sexual needs/urges that they may have but we as listeners have guidelines we can follow to handle those chats. But when vulnerable members/guests sign up desperately needing emotional support and are greeted with listeners who are supposed to play a supportive role here, yet are constantly asked for numbers, social media and other details it's a disgrace.

To any member or guest who find themselves in this position then please leave the chat you're in, block and report the listener. No one should be asking you for those details. Not even if they give you the excuses that ...

'they can't type properly so need to video or voice call to help' .. if they cant type properly they can either let you know they will have slow replies or not be available to take chats in the first place.. or

'the 7cups app drain their battery too quickly so they need to use another app to chat on' .. If they aren't able to charge their device then find another listener.. or

'They can provide more support elsewhere and speak freely' .. only certain things are censored in chats on this site. . A wide range of genuine issues can be discussed here without causing any problem with censors etc

These are just a few of the 'reasons' that are given to members in order to get them to share details. I'm sure there are many more.

To those listeners who think it's acceptable to behave in this way I urge to you to stop and think about the position that the member is being put in. You may see it as just being a bit of fun but these are, in many cases vulnerable people who need someone to support them in whatever they are going through. The emotional distress that is caused by a lot of these chats both on here and other platforms is immeasurable.

If the only reason you come here is to satisfy the urges you have, then please go to other sites where you can do as you please without affecting people in need.

I understand that it is maybe a small number of listeners who behave this way but when will enough be enough??

**I may have posted this is the wrong section so please feel free to move it elsewhere

42
toughBranch5194 December 10th, 2016

@FreeToFly really well said Leanne. I hope many people read this and take notice xx

Doraemon1999 December 11th, 2016

@FreeToFly

Hey, i might have ask this question in a wrong place, but it's also about safety :)

I just want to know if we can delete our post after we post it? For example, if I share my thoughts today, how do I know if I'd like to delete it later on? So is it possible for us to delete it, or not?

4 replies
Phthalo December 11th, 2016

@Doraemon1999 You can't delete your own posts unfortunately, but I think you can tag a mod or forum leader to delete it for you. Such as @anomalia or @halliwellsister for example, I think they're pretty active here?

1 reply
Doraemon1999 December 12th, 2016

@Phthalo

Oh~I got it :) Thks

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NothingGold April 20th, 2017

@Doraemon1999 @Doraemon1999 I had a problem with that - I had shared some things in my posts that I realized could be viewed by doing a simple Google search - yikes. Send a message to Support and Feedback - it takes a little while but they will delete it.

Now I'm a little more careful about what I share in message threads because I know that they're publically accessible! Not sure everyone knows that, though.

1 reply
Doraemon1999 May 27th, 2017

@NothingGold

That's a great reminder! Thanks! I really think people should know this....it's kind of annoying when google search can link to anything >.<

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Phthalo December 11th, 2016

This needs to go up in the announcements or whatever it's called, it's an important thing that everyone should see.

1 reply
bubbleNectarine1199 December 11th, 2016

@Phthalo sending it out as an alert would be good for all to see it

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Hopeful0001 December 11th, 2016

@FreeToFly

Wonderful thread! I moved it to the community guidelines just because it talks about one of the guidelines and points out why it is so important!

emotionalCity7156 December 11th, 2016

@FreeToFly an excellent thread Lee. A very heartfelt statement that shows the compassionate caring person that you are. I hope those 'few' listeners who take part in the behaviour you describe take in what you say here!

bubbleNectarine1199 December 11th, 2016

@FreeToFly you may not post things very often here Leanne but this is powerful. Well done you for speaking out openly and sharing.. I'm sure it will help many members and guests in future xxx

RebeccaT December 23rd, 2016

@FreeToFly I really wish this post had been here when I first joined i would have been lot more prepared for the dozens of perverts who seem only to listen here for the sake of sexting etc. Maybe new members could be shown this? Prevention better than cure?

LovingWords December 23rd, 2016

@FreeToFly

Thank you

Peter January 4th, 2017

Staying safe on 7 Cups is really important heart Thanks for the wonderful post

compassionategirl2216 January 11th, 2017

@FreeToFly thank you for this. I have been in chats like this with listeners too. They try and make you feel safe and gain your trust to get what they want themselves. I really wish we could see posts like this easily when we join up. It would really help us to be prepared. Anywhere online is open to this kind of behaviour but an emotional support site should really have warnings like this readily available for us to see to prevent further trauma.

I blocked and reported one listener who behaved in this way to me (who also claimed to be highly trained in what he does) but he is still active on here. I'm wondering what is done in these cases? I would have thought that their account would be closed down when sexual harassment is involved?