Religion??

Maybe this is the wrong section? Heck maybe im not even supposed to post this here on cups. if so remove it, im sorry. im actually really really unsure where to post this so like if its wrong i had a suspicion 

anywayyyyyyyyy idk i was kinda looking for some support in the religious aspect of my life. My mom was a Jehovahs  (wow i spelt that bad) Witness when she was growing up, but she left or was kicked out or whatever the term was, idk all she does is tells them one single word and they never come to our door anymore. its like the no fly list. its kinda funny. i was raised in an agnostic household. one that believed in a higher power of sorts but not God persay. universal energy. i never understood why i didn't go to our towns church, why i was being excluded. If you know me, you know I've been through some stuff, seen some stuff. Anyway this lead me to be a like die hard atheist. Why would a God allow me to suffer this way? I dabbled in some other religions briefly, mainly Hellenism, that one brought my soul comfort. it was this way for a very very long time. I am a homeschooler in southern us, right in the bible belt. basically all my friends are really really religious. and here i am a girl-kissing-hair-dying-nose-peircing-gore-loving person who had only ever been in a church a few times. it created a divide between me and my friends. i mean like i know the earth is round and i know evolution is real, like there is literally proof, and that was a huge divide between me and the people i consider my friend. i started dating a guy, huge devoted Christian, right away i let him know like im an atheist like its just how i am, i explained why and he was all for it. he supported me and my life choices, as long as i supported his. which i did. i went to his church once, it was SO MUCH FUN!!! but eventually i invited him over to my house and a few days later i was getting texts like "i want a girl as devoted to God as i am" and "as a Christian your house felt spiritually wrong" and "i need to find myself a good Christian wife" A wife???? we were 14 and 15 at the time like WHAT?!?!?!?! for better or for worse we broke up. my friend eventually invited me to her youth group. i caved and was like yk what imma see what all this 'jesus' is all cracked up to be, stick it to my ex. anyway one of the youth leaders died that day so like i obviously didn't go. i felt like it was a sign, a sign that maybe it just wasn't for me. well eventually i went. then i cried while i was there. it was AMAZING!!!!! life changing stuff. i felt like the pastor looked into my soul that day. ill never forget what he said, it changed my life. "God created YOU in his perfect image. But we cannot pretend to be righteous. As a human being, we are destined to make mistakes, we are destined to screw up. but here's the thing. God Forgives. He Loves you anyway." and he also said that there wasnt any specific way for a Christian to look. I have dyed hair and a nose ring and that is how absolutely amazing God chose to make me. 

Since going to youth group I've really devoted myself to religion. I have a hard time with Forgiveness, since so much has happened to me. its really really hard for me to just forgive and let go. i pray for strength and things get a little easier. anyway id like to close on some closing thoughts that i need support for, not just a ramble xD

my friend asked me what my favorite verse was and i told her. its Exodus 21: 23-25.  But if any harm follow, then thou shalt give life for life,  eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.   This passage has brought me great comfort. comfort in knowing that no dirty deed is gone unpunished. like if i forgive and let go, God doesn't forgive. I can forgive the man who did horrible nasty things to me, because God will punish him as He so sees fit. My friend had a different opinion. so am i taking this the wrong way??? am i just being weird??

My friends are very against body modifications to spite Gods image. My hair dye is a sense of self expression, same as my nose ring. I don't hate how God made me, i don't, sometimes i just want purple hair because its fun. So im having reconstructive surgeries to repair a part of me that i hate, that was made wrong. But if God made me in His perfect image, then why am i fixing it? is it a Sin to want to fix it? 

Also like any words of le wisdom u have for a literal atheist who is coming into this new world, greatly appreciated <3

-Avy (he/him)