Unlovable
Hello everyone,
I did couple of tests few days ago that the results were depression symptoms
Was trying to help myself as family relations become more complicated
And the search actually gave me 7 cups as an option so here I am
I signed up yesterday
I had couple of effective chats Appreciation to them
And couldn't talk with them about being single because I was a new member don't know how it works here and for sure afraid being judged that I am here for dating or something
Then was checking the app
Found communities and here I am
Was trying to express myself in a post and I couldn't actually find words But I found someone else's post Which exactly the same situation
Here it is
(What if nobody ever loves me? I'm 20 years old & I've never had a boyfriend. I just don't appeal to men. When I try to talk to people about this they say you just have had the right person come your way yet, but that's because no person comes my way. What if some people can't be loved? What if I am one of those people? What if no one ever wants me, why would they I guess?)
But only one thing is different which is i am 32
To be honest I already have enough negative thoughts was talking about with listeners since yesterday
And posting this I am sure will be one of these negative thoughts I will have in the future
Why
Because this is me, bad situations, Mistakes, Wrong decisions, Embarrassing situations always in my mind
Being single all this time makes me feel bad about myself.
HELP💔
@Ayyoot
Hi there. Good to see you posting here to rant about your problems.
As a 34 year old single guy I can pretty much relate to what you're saying regarding your love life. Negative thoughts will appear all the time, thinking the right person will never come, no one wants you, lonely forever, etc. But I think you have to take your time to engage yourself in deep thoughts which might be hard considering you're in depressed state. How do I improve my chances of finding someone to date and what qualities I can offer or improve on? What can I do with my single life right now which I'm afraid I won't be able to do once I met my potential significant other because is this what I really want? Will I be able to commit to this newfound love with my partner?
Being single has it's ups and downs. Benefits and loss. The thing you have to ask yourself is have you lived your single life to it's full potential? I hope my input makes sense to you.
Looking forward to hear more from you.
@Evokun
Thank you for ur reply
Much appreciated
What u said is correct, makes sense
Just have few comments and questions if u allow me..
U mentioned "How do I improve my chances of finding someone to date.. " I need to know actually what people usually do what they have tried and was effective.
"Will I be able to commit to this newfound love with my partner?" I don't know the answer because I don't know what it means, what are the partner concerns regarding this point "I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP BEFORE" if someone said in front of me "I truly love him or I truly love her, she truly loves me or he truly loves me" I don't know what it means.. What actually being in love means what being loved means" yea I can see what it means in movies "understanding caring sacrifice etc.. But what they feel! I don't know..
Oh God if feel really bad about myself saying that!
I never imagined that I will be in such situation and say that about me
32 and I don't know what being in love means!
I asked earlier about what to do and I don't think that it will be fine for me to do anything to find a guy who maybe gonna be the love of my life..
Why it's too difficult for him to find me..From where I am this moment.. it is impossible for a guy to find me..
It's miserable 😅💔
I am miserable ✌️yay
@Ayyoot
Your point of view makes sense but try not to beat yourself up for it. Let's take this slow so it's easier for you to digest.
Let's start with something else. How is your social life? Do you have many friends or at least close friends you can confide to when you have problems such as these?
If you're not comfortable talking about your personal life further up in the open you can try connecting to my Listener profile @Evokunthelistener
@Evokun
Would like to thank you for offering ur help to listen..
But actually I feel horrible about this post already and don't think I wanna talk about it anymore..
Just if u can help me delete it will appreciate because I can't find any option available here for deleting..
Or maybe there is but I don't know..
Just let me know how to delete it..
Thanks 🌸
@Ayyoot
There's nothing bad or horrible in expressing what you feel and asking for help. The community here is always ready to listen to you when you need it. Dont be shy about it. Whenever you're ready, just post again. I'll do my best to listen according to my knowledge.
@Evokun
So it means I can't delete it?
@Ayyoot
To my current knowledge, at least not directly. We can probably place a flag on your post with the description that you want your post to be taken down and wait until a forum moderator approved the request.
@Evokun
Hey u r in my shoes.... listen dear friend ik life is difficult at times...n d struggle seems endless but trust me u ll find ur soulmate...kepp faith.❤️❤️❤️🌌🌌🌌. Y do u feel ur unlovable huh ? I luv u 🤗...come on it's safe here ....I can also help u out if u want to .....ik how tat feels 😔😔😔. U need someone to talk to about ur day , spend those sleepless nights with....but chill one day u ll have ur soulmate in ur arms 🤗🤗🤗🤗
@Ayyoot
Hey! Welcome to 7cups
I hope your having a splendid time! But im sure, i'd bet on it, that someone has loved you but never told you. Love is a very confusing thing, and its not something to rush. Just because others around you have been in twenty-five different relationships doesn't mean you have to follow there lead. So take your time, the right person will come when the time is right!
@Axelohioboi
Thank you for ur reply.. My time her is fine so far
"i'd bet on it, that someone has loved you but never told you." yea maybe!
"Just because others around you have been in twenty-five different relationships doesn't mean you have to follow there lead" .
I have to tell you that this sentence is really hard.. Really hard.. I am sure you didn't mean anything bad by saying it but unfortunately it left a very bad impact.. Because if I want to FOLLOW A LEAD I will not be here talking about being single..
Oh dear..
You made me feal really bad by posting this post from the beginning..
@Ayyoot
yeah, I get that, and I'm happy that your coming here to talk about it. And your right I didn't mean anything bad about it, but I just reread it and it doesn't seem like something I should've said. So my apologies for that. Guess I wasn't thinking when writing that, which is a dumb excuse on my end. So I'm really happy your taking initiative, you seem like a strong person, a very bright one at that. Feel free to pm me, hope you have an awesome rest of your day/night or whatever. So sorry about that!
@Ayyoot Well I guess I'm not the only one on that situation. I'm 39 and never had a girlfriend. Somehow I'm eating myself in the idea that I will never have a significant other, and my time to get one has passed. To worsen things trying to know someone takes me at least a year because I have a lot of trust issues and if 8 want to date such girl I need to be completely sure that she is the right one. But I feel that at my age I don't have the time to know someone properly anymore. I think that I already gave up on it and mind the idea that I'll die alone. In the end with the failures I saw that marriage is a fallacy and children are a burden. I feel that I never will ever be understood
@JohnDoe00
Hey der ..!! John ..😊. So lemme tell u something dear ... U r not alone 🤗. First of all understand that u r not d only person with tat personality out der...which means so many wud be like u...so der s nothing like u won't find ur significant other dear...🌈
This universe will give u ur love wen ur ready...n d time is divine 🌌🌌...stay happy n prepare urself .for love... whatever u believe will happen...🤗🤗
Also remember d dating sites such as eHarmony , designed especially for ppl over 40 yrs of age exist for a reason....also it has good success rate ...😇. So try out something like that..❤️🌈
Also ur not at all unlovable dear....if u ever feel sad or low ...u can always come to me ❤️👍...
Take me as a new frnd of urs...😇. U can speak on anything 😇😇🌈