Unlovable

Hi @Ayyoot

i know it's been a long time since you posted it, and i saw you already got some answers. I think is great (and very brave of you) to reach out here.

Don't be so hard on yourself. I can relate to the feeling of 'being wrong' no matter what you do.

But I'm sure you have great qualities as a person, we all have that feeling of being unlovable. No one is judging you harder than yourself and there's no need to.

You deserve to be happy of course! I know you might feel like 32 is late, I'm 30 and haven't found my soul mate either and i also don't know if there's one for me, what i do is try to focus on what makes me happy and to make things i would be proud to share with my partner (whenever i meet him).

I hope my words help... i wish you the best!

@Ayyoot

Hi there. Good to see you posting here to rant about your problems.

As a 34 year old single guy I can pretty much relate to what you're saying regarding your love life. Negative thoughts will appear all the time, thinking the right person will never come, no one wants you, lonely forever, etc. But I think you have to take your time to engage yourself in deep thoughts which might be hard considering you're in depressed state. How do I improve my chances of finding someone to date and what qualities I can offer or improve on? What can I do with my single life right now which I'm afraid I won't be able to do once I met my potential significant other because is this what I really want? Will I be able to commit to this newfound love with my partner?

Being single has it's ups and downs. Benefits and loss. The thing you have to ask yourself is have you lived your single life to it's full potential? I hope my input makes sense to you.

Looking forward to hear more from you.

@Evokun

Thank you for ur reply

Much appreciated

What u said is correct, makes sense

Just have few comments and questions if u allow me..

U mentioned "How do I improve my chances of finding someone to date.. " I need to know actually what people usually do what they have tried and was effective.

"Will I be able to commit to this newfound love with my partner?" I don't know the answer because I don't know what it means, what are the partner concerns regarding this point "I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP BEFORE" if someone said in front of me "I truly love him or I truly love her, she truly loves me or he truly loves me" I don't know what it means.. What actually being in love means what being loved means" yea I can see what it means in movies "understanding caring sacrifice etc.. But what they feel! I don't know..

Oh God if feel really bad about myself saying that!

I never imagined that I will be in such situation and say that about me

32 and I don't know what being in love means!

I asked earlier about what to do and I don't think that it will be fine for me to do anything to find a guy who maybe gonna be the love of my life..

Why it's too difficult for him to find me..From where I am this moment.. it is impossible for a guy to find me..

It's miserable 😅💔

I am miserable ✌️yay

@Ayyoot

Your point of view makes sense but try not to beat yourself up for it. Let's take this slow so it's easier for you to digest.

Let's start with something else. How is your social life? Do you have many friends or at least close friends you can confide to when you have problems such as these?

If you're not comfortable talking about your personal life further up in the open you can try connecting to my Listener profile @Evokunthelistener

@Evokun

Would like to thank you for offering ur help to listen..

But actually I feel horrible about this post already and don't think I wanna talk about it anymore..

Just if u can help me delete it will appreciate because I can't find any option available here for deleting..

Or maybe there is but I don't know..

Just let me know how to delete it..

Thanks 🌸

@Ayyoot

There's nothing bad or horrible in expressing what you feel and asking for help. The community here is always ready to listen to you when you need it. Dont be shy about it. Whenever you're ready, just post again. I'll do my best to listen according to my knowledge.

@Evokun

So it means I can't delete it?

@Ayyoot

To my current knowledge, at least not directly. We can probably place a flag on your post with the description that you want your post to be taken down and wait until a forum moderator approved the request.

@Evokun

😢

@Ayyoot

For whatever it's worth, this is all anonymous, and maybe you can take some amount of solice knowing that seeing this may actually be helpful to others. Knowing you're not alone can bring relief.

And you're not alone either.

@dapperWater3387

Thank you!

That was helpful..

Actually my opinion changes a lot..

I say to my self it's because u have a difficult time u r so sensitive, it's okk

Then I say how miserable u r..

Then hey calm down u r over reacting..

And so on

Just pray for me 🙏🌸

all of this will pass soon

Thank you again

@Evokun

Hey u r in my shoes.... listen dear friend ik life is difficult at times...n d struggle seems endless but trust me u ll find ur soulmate...kepp faith.❤️❤️❤️🌌🌌🌌. Y do u feel ur unlovable huh ? I luv u 🤗...come on it's safe here ....I can also help u out if u want to .....ik how tat feels 😔😔😔. U need someone to talk to about ur day , spend those sleepless nights with....but chill one day u ll have ur soulmate in ur arms 🤗🤗🤗🤗

@MusicalMind14

Thank you for ur sweet words dear..

Hope you have a good day full of positivity such as the vibes you spread out here.

"if it's creepy English hope you understand what i want to say as i am not a native English speaker"

🌸

@Ayyoot

Hey! Welcome to 7cups

I hope your having a splendid time! But im sure, i'd bet on it, that someone has loved you but never told you. Love is a very confusing thing, and its not something to rush. Just because others around you have been in twenty-five different relationships doesn't mean you have to follow there lead. So take your time, the right person will come when the time is right!

@Axelohioboi

Thank you for ur reply.. My time her is fine so far

"i'd bet on it, that someone has loved you but never told you." yea maybe!

"Just because others around you have been in twenty-five different relationships doesn't mean you have to follow there lead" .

I have to tell you that this sentence is really hard.. Really hard.. I am sure you didn't mean anything bad by saying it but unfortunately it left a very bad impact.. Because if I want to FOLLOW A LEAD I will not be here talking about being single..

Oh dear..

You made me feal really bad by posting this post from the beginning..

@Ayyoot

yeah, I get that, and I'm happy that your coming here to talk about it. And your right I didn't mean anything bad about it, but I just reread it and it doesn't seem like something I should've said. So my apologies for that. Guess I wasn't thinking when writing that, which is a dumb excuse on my end. So I'm really happy your taking initiative, you seem like a strong person, a very bright one at that. Feel free to pm me, hope you have an awesome rest of your day/night or whatever. So sorry about that!

@Ayyoot Well I guess I'm not the only one on that situation. I'm 39 and never had a girlfriend. Somehow I'm eating myself in the idea that I will never have a significant other, and my time to get one has passed. To worsen things trying to know someone takes me at least a year because I have a lot of trust issues and if 8 want to date such girl I need to be completely sure that she is the right one. But I feel that at my age I don't have the time to know someone properly anymore. I think that I already gave up on it and mind the idea that I'll die alone. In the end with the failures I saw that marriage is a fallacy and children are a burden. I feel that I never will ever be understood

@JohnDoe00

Hey der ..!! John ..😊. So lemme tell u something dear ... U r not alone 🤗. First of all understand that u r not d only person with tat personality out der...which means so many wud be like u...so der s nothing like u won't find ur significant other dear...🌈

This universe will give u ur love wen ur ready...n d time is divine 🌌🌌...stay happy n prepare urself .for love... whatever u believe will happen...🤗🤗

Also remember d dating sites such as eHarmony , designed especially for ppl over 40 yrs of age exist for a reason....also it has good success rate ...😇. So try out something like that..❤️🌈

Also ur not at all unlovable dear....if u ever feel sad or low ...u can always come to me ❤️👍...

Take me as a new frnd of urs...😇. U can speak on anything 😇😇🌈