LDR Boyfriend Becomes Distant, and I Almost Fall Into His Bestfriend's Trap

@ThomasCampi don't want to keep getting on this app but I want to talk...I have some crazy shit going on too

@patientOcean5477

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

We met first time IRL on July and we have 'fun' a lot then chat and eat together in his house. So happy. We chat a lot and do various things happily till September. But he got stressed lately because of work and also because his salary got cut off after he tried his best to meet me. He started becoming distant in October. (I can tell the only way he handles stress and strong emotions is to back away and isolate himself, which will raise your level of anxiety wondering whats going on)

I don't want our relationship to become sour so we arranged meeting in November. He's so happy to meet me but after that he became distant again. (I believe at the beginning he was happy (Fantasy stage), but the moment things started to get close (Realization stage) is where he became overwhelmed with emotions of closeness and then became distant. We are dealing with a person who fears vulnerability and will be distant at any given time) I tried to make him remember all fun things we do together (I can tell you tried to be soothing and encouraging here. You did well here) but all he said is "You only remember fun thing, yeah? That's good". (This sounds like an indirect comment, its an indication he is going through a lot of emotions which again it will make him back away again) It's like he's mocking me. He played new games, watching new tv shows, he never told me those anymore like i'm just his nobody.

That's when i chat his bestfriend for solution. Later he told me that my bf told him about things we do together. He said he want me too and i know he liked md long time ago but later i learned my bf lied about him having gf. (This friends of his lacks itengrity and only cares about how he feels. A person who respects someone else relationship wouldn't have say the things he did) or my by dont lie about that gf. I dunno. The story here i almost becoming my boyfriend sex friend here. But i remember i have boyfriend so i say no. I'm lonely tho and keep thinking about his friend's offer. Heeelp I'm still in love with my bf and dun want to cheat 😂 (It's up to you, but really think about if this relationship with your bf is worth keeping)

@freshLight64 Thank you very much for the explanation. Now i kinda get what should i do. I think i need to back away until he tried to reach me again. Maybe. Maybe improving myself either to keep strong with him or prepare to be with someone else.

Also one more thing. How can i stop blaming myself since i'm the reason why his salary become less, only 50 percent from his salary