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patientOcean5477
1,606 M Little Steps 6
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts30 Forum posts55 Forum upvotes44 Current upvotes44 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2024 Member sinceNovember 19, 2019
Recent forum posts
Anxiety because of disability and relationship
Anxiety Support / by patientOcean5477
Last post
 January 19th, 2020
...See more i dunno where this thread actually belong. unless i buy hearing aid my left ear is going to be deaf. doctor also said even with hearing aid sooner or later i'm going to be deaf completely it's just slower. i'm so anxious, afraid if bf actually going to leave me because of my disability. i also need distraction so that i dun think about this anymore. pls help
I decided to make a diary
Journals & Diaries / by patientOcean5477
Last post
 January 2nd, 2020
...See more Dec 6 "Do you like me?" That question popped up when he decided to be more than fwb. The answer is obvious, i love him so i said yes. It was more than 6 months ago. We had fights, we made up and now i understand him more. eps because he was gaming a lot it's seems like when he stressed he plays game a lot. I wont bother him. I said to my self it's better than he's cheating me on another woman. It's hard being in LDR, i dunno what he did, he dunno what i do. The only thing we can do is communicating. Last time he asked permission to be away for some time. He told me he need to make more money. So i said okay. It's said that our life is a cake, our relationship with others are icing. I think again. My life is indeed plain without him. But i try myself to make the cake taste good. I write diary here, i planned to go home to parents place tonight, i do skincare routine. But i'm worried about him. Does he ever think about me? I wonder.
I'm Speechless
Journals & Diaries / by patientOcean5477
Last post
 November 26th, 2019
...See more I and my BF are in LDR. We missed each other a lot so we exchange stuffs. I love his smell so he gave me some small socks he "used" so that they got his smell a bit. I love them and proudly wear them on my feet and they got his smell on it. My mom come to my place and saw those socks. She doesnt aware of our relationship, ofc about those socks. She washed all of them coz she thought those are dirty socks. I'm speechless. What should i say? should i be angry to her? She even want to wear it and say "Look, this is so funny. You really wear this?" Mom you washed them and then you mock them. I can't allow such things. "Mom you're really going to wear it?" "Ofc not, it looks silly" Then she's off. Good. I feel like wanting to cry now especially since i and my bf are fighting. I dunno if i should hate my mom coz she washed those or just cry.
I dunno, I just hate everyone
Journals & Diaries / by patientOcean5477
Last post
 November 23rd, 2019
...See more I dunno what to say. I always try to be good person and caring one to people around me: bf, family, friends. But there's time where i want to be alone but they wont let me to be alone. My bf is someone like me who need space and time to be alone too. So i'm giving him space now. But in fact i miss him. I felt like he never miss me even one bit. He told me i always chat him everyday. Okay i stop chatting him But people around me wont leave me alone when i want to be all alone. Mom suddenly made plan to come to my place. She insist to come. I dun want her to come. Especially when i have lots of things to hide. My friends keep bugging me telling that i'm being jerk to mom and tell me to just break up with my bf. One of them even offering me to another man when i'm still in relationship! I dunno what to say, it felt like the one who always have to give everything is me. When will everyone being nice by leaving me alone when i want to? I can say i hate people around me. I hate them.
LDR Boyfriend Becomes Distant, and I Almost Fall Into His Bestfriend's Trap
Relationship Stress / by patientOcean5477
Last post
 November 20th, 2019
...See more So i had been in LDR with my boyfriend for 5 months. We started as friends with benefit but ended up as lover after he confess his feelings and wanting things more than sex. We met first time IRL on July and we have 'fun' a lot then chat and eat together in his house. So happy. We chat a lot and do various things happily till September. But he got stressed lately because of work and also because his salary got cut off after he tried his best to meet me. He started becoming distant in October. I don't want our relationship to become sour so we arranged meeting in November. He's so happy to meet me but after that he became distant again. I tried to make him remember all fun things we do together but all he said is "You only remember fun thing, yeah? That's good". It's like he's mocking me. He played new games, watching new tv shows, he never told me those anymore like i'm just his nobody. That's when i chat his bestfriend for solution. Later he told me that my bf told him about things we do together. He said he want me too and i know he liked md long time ago but later i learned my bf lied about him having gf. or my by dont lie about that gf. I dunno. The story here i almost becoming my boyfriend sex friend here. But i remember i have boyfriend so i say no. I'm lonely tho and keep thinking about his friend's offer. Heeelp I'm still in love with my bf and dun want to cheat 😂
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