I did nothing wrong, why did this happen?

@norcal oh no that's not good at all I am very sorry that you are going through this I can't imagine my life without my fiancée it seems like she has been up yo something for awhile cause she took her X back very quickly so maybe she was planning this all along and was just using you and lying to you you are not at fault it wasn't your fault its all her doing you tired your best that's all that matters maybe she still had feelings for her X as well and maybe her X spoke to her and she believed his BS and took him back who knows what was going on the whole time while she was with you but also planning something with her X its not your fault okay you gave it your all that's what counts you didn't know this would happen you didn't know anything till it was too late please reach out to the lovely community listeners on here one on one chats or in a group there is also self help guides in the menu click path and its there in the lists this was never your fault okay no one can see the future or read there partners mind you had no idea this was going on behind your back hang in there hope you have a brighter morning and best of luck getting support on here :)

@norcal

I am so sorry that you're having to go through this. I am in a similar situation so everything you say about crying and screaming into your pillow at night, the wondering if you're even worthy of love, all of that, really resonates.

I've been struggling through this for several months so it's a little less raw for me than it is for you right now. The things that have helped me have just been time and making a lot of effort toward self-care, even when I don't feel like it. I spent some time seeing a therapist. When the grief would subside a bit, I was able to ask myself the questions she asked of me and that gave me clarity.

I still (and still do) get overwhelmed with sadness. I tell myself that I will cry and rage for this long and then I have to dry my face and go do something positive. It's helped a lot. It was unbelievably hard at first but I forced myself and now it's easier. Now I find I want to get to the positive stuff faster and more often. I think this is what healing is. :)

Hang tough.

@norcal hey man, know that you're not alone in this, yeah? I'm sorry to hear about your situation :( but know that just because she left you, doesn't mean you suck. Sometimes old feelings linger, perhaps because of that she chose to go back to the past instead of moving on and forward with you. The fact that you have tried your best in the relationship shows how much you are capable in loving someone. Take the time to grieve, but do try to care for yourself. Don't beat yourself up too much, you've done your best in the relationship. Feel free to talk and pm me or any of the listeners here if you need support. In the meantime, you can also check out our self help guides here for better exercises in coping with your feelings:

http://www.7cups.com/breakup-advice/

http://www.7cups.com/grief/

http://www.7cups.com/forgiveness/

http://www.7cups.com/getting-unstuck/

http://www.7cups.com/how-to-deal-with-loneliness/

http://www.7cups.com/self-harm/

http://www.7cups.com/how-to-deal-with-loneliness/

http://www.7cups.com/help-managing-emotions/

Sorry, I know that its a lot of guides, but feel free to pick one and read. Hope these help

Look at it this way: at least she revealed her true colors before you got married to her rather than 10 years down the road. I know its a hard pill to swallow but it might help if you acknowledge amd accept that there people are not always what they seem to be. Or what we want them to be. You thought you knew your fiance, but left without an explanation. Thats just rude! Not to mention incredibly self-centered. Thank God you didnt get stuck with her! (This is the mentality you must adopt in order to give yourself the wherewithal to heal)