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Mirea
3,342 M Seeking Light 1
PathStep 346 Compassion hearts509 Forum posts296 Forum upvotes419 Current upvotes419 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2017 Member sinceJuly 19, 2016
Bio
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"

Recent forum posts
Problem posting images
Safety & Knowledge at 7 Cups / by Mirea
Last post
 October 21st, 2016
...See more I use imgur.com as the hosting site for images I'd like to post on here. For the last few days, I haven't been able to do so. I see that others are still posting images so I don't think the issue is with this site but probably with imgur. Does anyone else use them as a hosting site? If so, are you having similar problems? I've looked at the all the settings I can find but no luck so far so I'm open to suggestions. I'll use another hosting site if I have to but it looks like I've lost all the previous images I've posted so I'd rather figure this out if possible. Thanks!
How am I going to get through this?
Relationship Stress / by Mirea
Last post
 September 12th, 2016
...See more I just filed the papers to end my 16 year marriage. I know there is no other course to take. But I feel so very lost and afraid. Over these last few years, I've tried to reconcile the contradictions between what he says and what he does. He loves me but he hurts me. He's sorry but he keeps doing it. He says I'm the finest person he knows but all our problems are my fault. He thinks I'm smart but has played me for a fool. Years of that, of being confused and hurt and angry have left me feeling so lost. I don't know who I am anymore. I want to believe that I'm a kind, smart, loving person who is generally good, if flawed. But I can't. Not really. Because I look at myself and see ugly, boring, cold-hearted and stupid, stupid, stupid. That's the message his behavior has sent and that's the message my heart believes. I must be as awful and undeserving as I feel, right? Why else would this man who was so loving for so long, start treating me with such contempt? I don't know how to let go of the anger. I don't know how to forgive. I don't know how to heal. I'm in hell.
Sad and angry day today
Relationship Stress / by Mirea
Last post
 July 27th, 2016
...See more I'm having a rough day today. I'll try to keep this short. My husband and I are divorcing after 16 years of marriage. Most of it was great but the last few years have been excruciating. Without going into the whole big story, he used his own pain as an excuse to mentally and emotionally beat me up. Getting out of this is the best thing I can do for myself. I know that. I'm working really hard to stay on an even keel but that's a challenge some days. His behavior killed our relationship. I certainly wasn't perfect and I've owned up to my part in it all. I've apologized and worked to do better. I tried so hard to make things right. But he didn't try at all. In fact, he made it worse all the while telling me that our problems were my fault, that I was being irrational, I need to back off. His actions were a textbook example of gaslighting and it is a stunningly cruel thing to do. I know I'm better off without him. I'm more at peace, in general. He no longer has the power to hurt me. But today, today, today. Today I'm angry. I'm sad. I miss the man I thought was my best friend. I want someone to do to him what he did to me. I want to see him laid as low as I have been. And I hate that I'm feeling so vindictive. I don't want to be this sort of person. I want to take the high road, tell him good-bye and wish him well (and mean it). I just can't get there today. I'm not looking for advice. There's no way through this but through it and tomorrow I may be better. I don't know what I'm looking for. Just someone to know that I'm hurting right now, I guess. Thanks for hearing me out.
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