I can't stop missing you

It's been 5 months since we last saw eachother, and I still miss you like crazy. Being around other guys doesn't help, they just make me miss you more. I realize now that I was a toxic person in your life and you had to get away from me for your own good. I know that if I don't better myself first, our relationship won't get any better. I don't know how long it will take until I can become my best self again, but I want to show you that version of me and try again. I hope you will give me the chance. I want you to be happy, even if it's with someone else, but at the same time, I want to make you happy like I used to. I know that I can. I want you to love me like you did before I began to ruin things. I love you for you. I love how unique you are. I know that I'm going to think about you and wonder how you are for the rest of my life, and it's going to suck. I hope someday the universe will bring us back together and you will let me show you my best. I know if I better myself, we could be so much better. If that doesn't happen, I worry that you'll be, "the one that got away" I just want you to be happy, but missing you is hell. You were the best boyfriend I've ever had, and I let my illness take the best of me. I just want to get healthy and start over. I hope someday you will give me another chance. I'll never stop missing you.