First love???

I'm 20 now. I met him when I was 16, he was my classmate. We became friends and started chatting at night. He asked me to introduce him to any of my friends, apparently he meant it as a joke to cheer me up. I introduced him to one of my friends not knowing that she already had a crush on him. They still have a lot of drama going on between them now. I realised after I introduced him to her that I had feelings for him. After I had introduced him to her, mine and his friendship went down the drain. We spoke after a year or so when I was 18. We got closer again and he asked me to guess whether he was telling the truth when he said that he had a crush on me when we were studying together. After a few days I told him that I had feelings for him too. We were getting closer when I asked him about my friend as they had a complicated thing going on. They were not datuy, she had said she loved him, he never accepted it or gave a proper answer. When I asked him about it he said he liked her as a friend, whenever he tried to tell her that she starts crying. When I told that to her she cried and I felt like shit. So I avoided him. He had told he loved me when I said that she loved him. He was ok with a lot of my mental health issues and accepted me. Her response made me guiltier than I already was. So I avoided him for 3 months. I asked to meet him later. Two days after saying that he will let me know when we can meet. He kissed her. They didn't talk for a month or so after that.