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confusedandlostsoul
3,441 M Seeking Light 1
PathStep 15 Compassion hearts35 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceOctober 13, 2018
Recent forum posts
Finding it hard to have any kind of relationship (Would appreciate responses)
Trauma Support / by confusedandlostsoul
Last post
 November 24th, 2022
...See more I grew up in an emotionally abusive home where they always told me that you can't trust anyone other than family, i.e., them. If I had anyone in my life that I spent time with or spoke about they made sure that they pointed out what they did wrong or just kept telling me to be careful that the other person will hurt me badly. My trust was broke badly when I was 16 and I went through a very difficult time in my life with no one to help me out or comfort me. I am 23 now and am working with a great team. I have 3 managers who are men and unmarried. They are quite older than I am and usually take care of me and support me. I kind of started liking them in a personal manner because I have no idea on how to just be friends with someone. They ended up being some sort of hero or best friend figure in my head. It is definitely not like that though because they are just helping me out since I am a lot younger and literally struggle with a lot of things. I recently moved to a different city to continue working with them as I didn't want to change my team. Certain issues happened in my team and a couple of team members left since they didn't like working there, which is their right. Now my parents and others around me keep telling me that the managers are being nice to me since I do the work, and they will turn on me the day I stop being useful to them. This really worries me as I have started considering them my friends to an extent at this point. I am not really sure on what to trust and how to deal with this. Would really appreciate it if anyone has any idea on how I can make things clearer for myself
Mood swings
Relationship Stress / by confusedandlostsoul
Last post
 January 6th, 2020
...See more I'm 20. My parents are talking about my marriage in few years. Yesterday I returned from my cousin sister's wedding. Her husband's family is really nice. Her husband's younger brother was really cute and had kind eyes. I liked him. I have problem with vivid imaginations and was imagining being married to him and loved the idea of their family. I have no idea how they are in real life. Now I'm all sad and depressed and mad that I'm stupid for imagining shit and will never find a family I can be myself in. I don't know how to stop these imaginations and mood swings. Don't know what is wrong with me.
First love???
Relationship Stress / by confusedandlostsoul
Last post
 October 13th, 2019
...See more I'm 20 now. I met him when I was 16, he was my classmate. We became friends and started chatting at night. He asked me to introduce him to any of my friends, apparently he meant it as a joke to cheer me up. I introduced him to one of my friends not knowing that she already had a crush on him. They still have a lot of drama going on between them now. I realised after I introduced him to her that I had feelings for him. After I had introduced him to her, mine and his friendship went down the drain. We spoke after a year or so when I was 18. We got closer again and he asked me to guess whether he was telling the truth when he said that he had a crush on me when we were studying together. After a few days I told him that I had feelings for him too. We were getting closer when I asked him about my friend as they had a complicated thing going on. They were not datuy, she had said she loved him, he never accepted it or gave a proper answer. When I asked him about it he said he liked her as a friend, whenever he tried to tell her that she starts crying. When I told that to her she cried and I felt like shit. So I avoided him. He had told he loved me when I said that she loved him. He was ok with a lot of my mental health issues and accepted me. Her response made me guiltier than I already was. So I avoided him for 3 months. I asked to meet him later. Two days after saying that he will let me know when we can meet. He kissed her. They didn't talk for a month or so after that.
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