Boy drama
So last year I broke up with my ex of 4 years where we lived together and was my first love (I’m 21) we had fights a lot we were drifting apart then everything would be good and we talking about getting engaged but he seemed like he didn’t want to I was upset and hurt and things kept getting worse so we broke up we try to stay friends but I met someone and things blew up he met someone same thing this new guy I met I talked to for a year I was sad about my ex and he helped me a lot I was very open with him my ex would come in and act like he wanted to be with me again and then I would catch him in a lie and it would destroy me.. and the new guy wanted to date and so he told me that I needed to decide which was fair and I chose my ex Bc I didn’t think I could get over him.. well me and my ex started having our problems again and I started texting the new guy again he and I hadn’t stop talking til recently when he found out my ex was at my house to have a talk and I didn’t tell him he said he couldn’t take it anymore I was very heartbroken and I felt guilty Bc my ex doesn’t know but with ex it’s been like a roller coaster with him he’s has his issue with me as I do with him we are like on cloud 9 one day fighting the next recently I had something big happen and my ex was supposed to be there for me and he wasn’t and I ended up calling the new guy and he was there and I told him that I shouldn’t be talking to him but I do miss him and he honestly was great to me and I regret not choosing him and I told him and he told me that I need to figure myself out and hopefully if we are both single something can come of that.. but at this point I’m so torn I love both but I’m scared I will never get over my ex and that it’s always going to be like this.. I’m scared to make a wrong choice I just need help
With your ex it sounds like codependency. It’s not love. Love is not drama and roller coaster emotions, or so I hear. Your ex wasn’t there for you, but the new guy was. Guys show love through actions. If a guy cares about someone, they’ll do things for them. You do the math. Also, this is just me but I can’t live with someone who hasn’t committed himself to me before God and men. Just seems disrespectful to my womanhood. But that’s me. Anyways, if I were you, I’d have broken up with the ex, and taken some time to figure myself out. When I was good and ready, I’d have reached out to the other guy and asked him if he cared about me genuinely, to pursue me with good intentions the right way. And if he didn’t, I’d have moved on from that too. But again, that’s me. One thing I will say: journal. Write down your true feelings on paper. I feel pretty sure you know what’s up, but are afraid to admit it and take the correct actions because you’re afraid of losing someone. This kind of thing almost never leads to true love. Sorry, bitter pills don’t taste good. And I wish you peace and happiness soon.