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Sexual problems

irishGirl95 April 18th, 2016

Hi guys, first time in this so I'm sorry if what I'm about to write is inappropriate for here.

im 21 and with my boyfriend 2 years now. At the beginning, sex was regular and great! In the past year and particularly months, he's been suffering with premature ejaculation problems. Now they are quite bad, as in if he lasts literally 60 seconds it's almost a gift! Last night he came before he even had his boxers off. I'm not a shallow person and I reassure him all the time that I still adore him and am very attracted to him.

needless to say it's having a massive effect on his self esteem, confidence, manhood and ultimately, our relationship. I know he still loves me and finds me attractive, but he has stopped initiated anyting because he's 'scared of messing up' . I've tried to make it as relaxing as I can for him, telling him not to think about it, just enjoy the moment etc.

He's too embarrassed to speak to his doctor because he doesn't think people his age should have this problem. I've urged him to go and told him it's nothing to be ashamed of etc. But he's not comfortable going.

I love this guy so much and I know Dec isn't everything, but it's been going on far too long and it's creating a weird boundary between us that never existed, it's kind of ruining our intimacy and relationship slowly but surely. ​

Please help if you can relate or have any advice. Thank you

23
Elleh April 18th, 2016

@irishGirl95 I guess you already know that everyone is going to say he needs to see a doctor, right? wink I think this is probably a more common problem people realise, it's not something guys generally like to talk about I suppose. I understand how it can be embarrassing to see a doctor about something so personal but they are only focused on trying to fix things. Do you think it might help if you went with him for support?

cristiana33 April 18th, 2016

@irishGirl95

Hey there! I moved this to Sexual Health and deleted your previous thread as it was identical with this one! I see you are already receiving replies here. Will comment later when i have more time to read!

Tatety23 December 2nd, 2016

He is right, people of his age don't usually have this problem. And that's EXACTLY why he have to see a doctor ASP to check,it can be something very simple to solve or something else either way he have to know!!!

Before jumping on conclusions of a anxiety or stress relatated, you have to exclude physical problems.

Ladypearl December 10th, 2016

Tell him that problems down there are normal despite age and should consult his doctor, they are there to help and have probably dealt with things like that before.

I'm a woman and not a man with a problem like him, but I got problems with penetration and I m 25, not much older then he is, it happens to anyone whatever age.

CuriousTeddy March 8th, 2017

Sometimes watching porn and masterbating can mess up the threshold for ejaculation making a guy too sensitive or too excited in a way that that makes him jump past all the fun and just focus on crossing the finish line.

Be patient and tolerant, asking him about porn indirectly as not to embarace him. Also be stealth in getting him to stop, don't take an agressive position. Be the smart, sweet, caring, and loving partner that you are :)

Hope things get better soon for you guys.
Good luck luv <3

1 reply
diplomaticCoconut6613 March 11th, 2017

Men in general get stressed by getting turned down by women. The hormones continue you to stress them and makes them even crazier. It's triggered significant amount of negative behaviour. Some choose the porn and masturbateing techniques to overcome the stress. Others who are stronger suppress their sexual feelings by fasting, or working hard excessively to achieve a feeling of tired and repeatedly ended up in sexual problems.

I my self refused to engage ever since I found out that my ex wanted me to make her pregnant so that she could avoid her responsibilities hiding behind a baby. I didn't like it and stop having sex cause I wanted her to become a responsible woman and understand the value of life not to abuse it.

This uncertainty was also a reason for my divorce as I was not satisfied.

I don't know what is the ideology your boy friend has, you need to find out but be very careful.

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younity March 11th, 2017

keggles !

HopeHaddingMSWLCSW March 11th, 2017

Premature ejaculation is the most commonn sexual dysfuction in males. It impacts 25% of men at some point in their lives. There are several techniques that can help with this. However, it is important to note that many sexual dysfuctions have a psychological basis. Seeing a doctor to eliminate a psysiological cause is important. If there is no psysiological cause, the next place to look is for a psychological reason. A good therapist with experience in arousal management can help. Masturbatory reconditioning in combination with therapy has a good success rate.

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Julietlovesu415 June 1st, 2017

I'm a very sexual person and my boyfriend is fine having sex once a month. Since my break up almost 4 years ago I haven't been AS horny as I use to be, I use to NEED it daily, Now I'm fine with once a week, one ever two weeks but he's not. Masturbation has been difficult because its been making me depressed. I have tried talking to my boyfriend about wanting more sex and he just will not have it, he strange about sex. If we are at a hotel he usually wants to have sex almost every night, at home sometimes he does but for the most part he doesn't. Also the more we see each other the more sex he wants, the less we see each other the less sex he wants. Long story short I started hanging out with a friend from high school, we've known each other for 13 years and have always had a connection. He's the opposite, he wants to have sex with me all the time, we have never had sex. Due to my pent up sexual energy I'm starting to want to cheat again and the longer I go without sex the more I want to have sex with this guy, he's gotten more attractive every time I've seen him. This isn't to say I dont find my boyfriend extremely attractive or I font get horny around him, its quite the opposite. So basically what's going on is I'm horny, I project that on to my friend, who then very much returns that feeling and then become even more horny when I get around my boyfriend which I don't get to release so I stew which just is making it all worse.

5 replies
courteousVillage7719 June 25th, 2017

@Julietlovesu415

Hey. Hmu and I will tty privately.

1 reply
Julietlovesu415 June 25th, 2017

@courteousVillage7719 ....ok...

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courteousVillage7719 June 29th, 2017

@Julietlovesu415

I say cheat, or indulge. Your cheating yourself staying in a situation that's not fulfilling your needs.

2 replies
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Vyk July 10th, 2017

Hello,
A friend and I were talking about sex last week and he mentioned that women cheat on men with small penis!! So I googled stuff up and have been doing that for a very long time for over a day!
I read that it's true and people are even subjected to bullying!
Is it true??
For the first time in my life I wish I was less smart and had a larger penis! I go sit in the washroom cursing and crying. I've heard there is nothing one can do about it!
I'm so depressed that I am actually talking about this!!
It's more like what the hell did I just read ??? Penis???!!!!!

2 replies
tallSouth129 July 11th, 2017

@Vyk

According to this website, "in a report published in BJU International, researchers brought together results of 12 studies that measured penis size and 11,531 men since 1942. They also studied what men and women think about penis size. 63% of men with average penis size felt that they were big enough. However, 85% of women were satisfied with their partner's size."

Size isn't as important as whether you can arouse your woman regardless of size. Do foreplay, last longer, and make her reach an orgasm.

Helvetica4642 December 10th, 2017

@Vyk

The study referenced in a separate reply above aligns closely with my own experiences as well. Not all articles posted online (like the one you read) are true so be careful. In my past relationships, size never was a determining factor in faithfulness.

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SoFree December 14th, 2017

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