Periods of longing-is this normal?
Hey friends.
I have been having an interesting emotional experience lately and I wanted to know if other people feel this as well.
I often feel long (1-2 weeks) periods of sadness because of my relationship status. This includes wishing I was dating someone, really really wanting to kiss or hold someone, and daydreaming of romantic and sexual physical affection.
The feelings that come with these phases can be overwhelming and lead me to spend hours laying in bed either daydreaming of feeling sad. I often end up creating long complex daydreams surrounding physical intimacy (mainly kissing) with a specific person. I also feel the need to tell someone about the daydreams I have, but have no one to share them with.
Does anyone else feel this?
@Queencake2144
My guess is that lots of people go through that, especially when they are younger. It's probably built into human nature to propagate the species.
My other guess is that depending on the media one is watching or listening to, one could get triggered into having those kinds of daydreams and feelings, and then it becomes a habit. Habits with strong emotional rewards can be tricky to overcome. One perhaps needs to change one's mindset about the feelings and the situation. To do that, one would probably have to be mindful (pay attention) about what is going on and label the situation the right way, rather than mindlessly just ruminating or trying to have what one doesn't have.
Of course, having imaginings can also be good in many ways, as long as it isn't to the point where one is experiencing more harm than benefit.
If you search the web for your specific concerns, you'll probably find a lot of good insights and solutions for your situation.
That's all I could think of right now.
Please forgive any typos above.
@Queencake2144
Hey I know exactly how that feels.
I often want to talk about these feelings and these imaginations that I end up making. It feels a sense of completion after sharing it with someone.
I'm here if you ever want to talk about it.
And I don't think this is unusual. We are humans who crave for emotional and physical intimacy. We need to have a social circle. Our mind and body are hard wired for it. What you feel is quite normal. And I think lot of people feel this everyday
@Queencake2144 I am struggling with the same thing currently tbh and have for a long time since I have struggled with social anxiety for a long time. I feel that those feelings will stay until the need is met, so for myself I am trying to be active about messaging people through online dating and taking the initative to ask people to coffee and stuff to eventually have those needs met. Unfortunately, there may always be some gap in time between being single and dating a new person, so yeah I think some type of mindful acceptance around those feelings is what we both could do. :/
I have been journaling a lot and my counselor taught me a technique called noting/naming to be mindful of thoughts and feelings, basically writing down "I notice I am having these thoughts and feelings about xyz" and that does help give some space to the feelings but takes practice.
Hey, I wanted to add to the thread that I’ve been feeling the same way. I have moments where I want to be in a relationship with someone, but what’s been holding me back is I don’t want to get rejected, so I hide my feelings. I’ve been working on this by doing activities and trying to meet people.