BDSM
apparently this hasn't been added to the "unconventional relationship" list. so i'll just go ahead and star. i'm in a BDSM relationship, D/s to be specific. i've actually found it very helpful for my anxiety and depression. i not only have someone to talk to, i also have real life motivation to take my pills and look for a therapist and go to a support group for my issues. in most ways, i've done better at life since i got in the relationship. anyone else have a similar story?
I don't know where else to post this and so I'm posting this here. For the last 6years I have been aware that my brother has been spying on me. I know that in 5th grade he saw the movie " war games" and he told me he was going to do what that kid did one day. As I have found d out hemhas gotten involved!ved with the voice of God computer software and been spying on me during those six years everyone I masturbate. I have been looking for his teacher me tuschky from his fifth grade school so I can ask him what he remembers. I know that he uses the voice of God software to say things to me when I am self intimate such as "I just had sex with your baby's mama and her p....y was so nice." And this has been on going. I am also in a custody issue with the mother and my brother has been saying things using the software such as that the child is his and leave the picture or else he will murder me. I have seen that during the span of appearances he has sent my father pictures of !y daughter and then acted as if he has more right to see her than me, something like the more you pay the more visitation privaledges and that my case is to be used to take rights from other fathers. I don't know how much of this is true except that the situation is such that he had a girlfriend in high school who said the he was cute and I was handsome and a friend that said I was cooler than him and he has always held visible animosity for the fact that my father was my baseball coach and not his, but when we practiced in the backyard he cried one time because he could not do it correctly while I could. He has used the software to say things to me like he was going to have sex with my old girlfriends to hurt me and to show our parents that he is better than me. I am merely curious because of the fact that he has a computer network of people and chat friends to team with and to support his behavior,I do not think he will change and I am scared that he is going g to try to murder me because he has used software and anonymity to make threats that he would murder me if I ever stole the affection of my daughter from her mother. He has gotten into a fight with me over the rights to our daughter and a friend was there to witness him tell me that I am worthless because I understand the mother was alienating me and she requested assistance from him. I just want to know if he fits the personality profile of a murderer because there was a construction worker that saw him total my old BMW a while back and I never pressedany charges.
@SelfDisciplinedPlaceforme - It sounds like a pretty overwhelming situation with your brother. I don't have a lot of background on this type of thing, so I can't offer any real words of wisdom, but if you are honestly afraid that your brother will try to kill you, you need to figure out a way to keep yourself safe and involve whoever necessary to do that. Good luck, and take care
@paperthinhymn - I don't have a similar story, but I want to celebrate yours! I think it's fantastic that you have found a relationship that is so fulfilling to you and is helping you in other areas of your life, as well. I am so thrilled to hear it! 
I just wanted to second this and say i'm in a D/s relationship as well. It's such an intense journey, but its so worth it if your inclined that way!
Hi there
Would you mind if I PM'd you about this ? I have an ongoing conversation with someone that is very much into it but doesn't want to be, and another sporadic conversation with someone who wants to be into it but is worried about the implications for respect / feeling of abuse. NP if you're uncomfortable, I'm just looking for a bit more knowledge. Thanks.
yes i'd be happy to (try to ) help :) !
@bubblyLove47 thats the spirit it is certainly worth it and can be intense yes but can have many rewards :D
I am in the related relationship as well and it had helped me a lot in my life too..just that my friends can't really accept it..
@OnceLostButWillBeFound im sorry that they cant accept it , it is after all down to us ourselves we are consenting after all communication is key for any D/S relationship and their is safe words and such too it isnt that much different from a vanilla relationship to be honest
I am in a D/s relationship but it is separate from my romantic relationship (we are kinky too just don't have a D/s dynamic). It helped me a lot with feeling safe & more in control of my life. I don't see my Dominant as often anymore partially because I am doing lot better than I was when we first got together & partially because I moved MUCH further away. If BDSM is something that makes you happy & helps you cope with any issues you are having, I say go for it.
Yes the rules and everything makes me feel safe,changed my life...i know there are not many who can accept my lifestyle though..but i just go for what makes me happy and help me in my life..
Yes when with the right person it's helpful but if not it can be harmful
if you ever feel you wish to talk to someone im more than willing to take BDSM chats im in a relationship in the loifestyle myself
i'm curious in learning more about this type of relationship. what is the best way to explore it ?
@naturalButterfly35 Hi :) I think the most important thing is what the relationship is like with your partner, if you have one. If it's open and you can talk about this sort of thing, you can try an initial experiment, nothing too heavy, and see how it feels for you both. There's no shortage of material published about it on the internet, and it's perfectly safe and harmless so long as the limits and rules are respected by both of you.
If you don't currently have a partner, and want to try a bit of this lifestyle with someone, it's more risky because respect is something that tends to build over time, and an initial encounter with someone that has a BDSM flavour might seem exciting, but it could turn out to be very risky, either because it goes wrong and the person doesn't respect you and your limits, or because the other person isn't into it and runs a mile calling you a weirdo :)
Hope that helps.
@MikeMadrid
thank you
How can I talk to my partner about this fetish I have? On Valentines weekend, I had bought a pair of handcuffs and asked him to use them on me when I least expected it, and we had stayed at a hotel that weekend to have more privacy. He never used them and only paid attention to them when I brought it up. We are in a long-term relationship and I'd like to spice things up with a fetish of mine, but I guess I don't know how. He already is dominant in the bedroom, but without toys or restraints. I need advice <3
@Llanah
I think having a discussion outside the bedroom linking the ways he is already dominant with the use of the handcuffs or other toys you may have may help him more. You can also explain to him the reasons you want to do it - whether it is to be placed in a more helpless position to be able to let go more, or if it is to expand the trust between the two of you so that he understands that you trust him to do this and you want him to trust you to tell him if anything feels wrong... he has to not just know about the idea but be okay with it, and i think part of that is discussing both what you want from it and asking why he seems resistant. it can be an awkward conversation to start, but if you can trust him enough to handcuff you, you should be able to trust him enough to talk about it.
@Llanah
I know exactly how you feel. Im 20 years old, and have been practicing bdsm since i was around your age. Theres nothing like the feeling of being sexually overpowered and helpless as long as you dont get seriously hurt
@Llanah I recently went through this with my husband. It's still a rocky road sometimes, but I cannot stress communication enough. Before, during, AND after. Maybe he's resistant to cuffs because he's never used them and doesn't know how. I found that giving him Literotica or porn (if you're into those) which best shows what I want was extremely helpful, and I think it removed some opportunities to miscommunication. Either way, make a list for him. What you expect him to do, what you would like him to do if he's comfortable, and what's off limits. If you tell someone you're into BDSM, it can range from sensual BDSM to massochism to simply bondage. Identify what you know you like and ask if any sound interesting to him. Also, GO AT HIS PACE. This was my biggest mistake. If you push, he may recoil and scrap the idea all together. Make sure he's as comfortable as you are. Make compromises and concessions as you explore together. Good luck!