Fiance wants XXX more than I do and it's taking a toll on me. Advice???

maybe just take to them. they might understand that you don't want it exactly when they do

@MadHatter07

I had a talk with him not long after writing all of this down and we've come to more common ground on our intimacy issues. We've got a small plan in place to try to figure out what works and doesnt, thank you for the reccomendation!

@AngelWytch

Rather than advice, here are some generic ideas...

One good way to synchronize a couple's physical arousal levels is... do some physical activity together... on a regular schedule...
That will get both heart beats pumping and improve moods at the same time... It also gets them away from devices and distractions.

Searches like this provide ideas...

https://www.google.com/search?q=COUPLES+WORK+OUT+TOGETHER+TO+IMPROVE+INTIMACY

If you get into a scheduled routine... things might get better from there consistently... in other ways too.

Discussing expectations and boundaries can help too...

There are lots out ideas available on all those topics so... just search for answers... learn... experiment... talk things out... and find solutions that work .

Please forgive any typos above.

@7motivation

I read through the list and even another related article similar to it on there and find the ideas helpful and interesting, as well as a bit of a wake up call cause it made me think about how long it's been since the last time we did something as simple as cuddling. I'm definitely am going to bring it up to him and try to do some of those exercises soon! Thank you so much for the ideas and help!

@AngelWytch

I'd like to start off by saying you're right to feel uncomfortable when he tries to push sexual activity with you. That's not fair to you, and that can feel violating as well!

Now, onto your question...I was in a familiar situation not too long ago with my ex-fiance (was my fiance at the time, we broke up for unrelated reasons). He wanted to be more "active" than I did.

I noticed changes in him when we weren't physical for long periods of time. He would become a little moody, and have trouble falling asleep at times. So I would make sure to "take care" of him a few days a week (this doesn't mean sex!).

I'd try to be creative to keep things interesting, and he would absolutely love having 100% of the attention on him. It helped us bond, kept him happy, and kept our relationship going smoothly. I never felt like I "had" to do it, nor did I feel unhappy doing it. I didn't mind and he would fawn over me the remainder of the night. He showed me his appreciation in ways that made ME happy. It was a system we had that kept both of us happy!

@creativeShip8033

It's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling this way at some point during a relationship, it's nice to feel understood like that.

I want him to be happy, and have been trying to avoid forcing myself to do things when I dont actually want or feel like it in regards to my relationships (previous ones have...not been so great, but were good life lessons on taking care of myself first at least).

I'm glad I'm not alone in this type of awkward situation. Thank you!