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psychologically based ED

selfdisciplinedPenny4408 October 29th, 2023

Yes really hard to talk about this glad I don't have to look anybody in the faces I do it lol I have mild ED I've tried medical treatments my last doctor told me and all likelihood based on my symptoms it's psychologically based I don't know if I can get any help with that here.

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toughTiger6481 October 30th, 2023

@selfdisciplinedPenny4408

Did doctor give you a few things to think about on this?     for example if you are not really into your current sex life. perhaps performance anxiety or being bored .. with things? .... partner issues ? 

Do you have maybe unrelated issues that interfere with certain times... i know when i was upset with partner about other items i had a difficult time during intimacy ... even small pet peeves add up and can be a damper on things. ( for either partner) 

7 replies
selfdisciplinedPenny4408 OP October 30th, 2023

Yes I did actually even tell my girlfriend it was most likely psychologically based of course it makes her feel like I'm saying something bad about her she wasn't mad at me but it's very difficult to bring any problems up to her without her getting extremely defensive and of course I think that is and all likelihood most certainly part of the problem lol and she's actually not very giving in bed either can't tell her that but it is what it is certainly am playing a part in it

6 replies
toughTiger6481 October 30th, 2023

@selfdisciplinedPenny4408

Well in this case you will need to find a way to communicate... or it may get worse... I can understand some take things personally but honesty and telling each other about what you need should be something people in a relationship should be able to discuss...

Does she understand how YOU most likely feel when this happens.... does she care about your feelings on matter.  


5 replies
selfdisciplinedPenny4408 OP October 30th, 2023

That's a difficult question lol I think she cares about how I feel but her own difficulties and life are preventing her from really considering it too much she's extremely defensive and obviously significant communication problems and our relationship I don't want to make it worse. good sexes really insignificant to me compared to good relationship so that's going to take the front seat for a while

4 replies
toughTiger6481 October 30th, 2023

@selfdisciplinedPenny4408

Your choice of course but this problem will most likely grow not go away better to fix then let it linger even when it is uncomfortable to discuss. 

1 reply
selfdisciplinedPenny4408 OP October 30th, 2023

yeah unfortunately to actually tell her that it was hurt skills in bed lmao yeah that's not going to work well at all right now first I have to get her to be able to hear constructive criticism and I know it's a huge uphill battle in this relationship and and all likelihood it's not going to end well but cancer low blah blah blah I do love her I know she loves me and I'm trying to make that enough and give things time. but we have discussed it and come up with possible things we can do I just can't put it all on her yet lmao I think it's a bad situation because I think I would like to be able to take some responsibility I just don't see how I can actually


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adventurousBranch3786 October 30th, 2023

@selfdisciplinedPenny4408.  Is it possible to ask for something in a non critical way? For example “I’d love it if you did ….” 

1 reply
selfdisciplinedPenny4408 OP October 30th, 2023

oh yeah and I'm not going to actually say what happened but it was really rather humiliating to be honest. answer was one thing but her actions were pretty uh pretty hard to deal with.

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