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selfdisciplinedPenny4408
1 6,421 M Moving Along 3
PathStep 41 Compassion hearts242 Forum posts67 Forum upvotes46 Current upvotes46 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceOctober 16, 2023
Recent forum posts
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I've done my best.
Depression Support / by selfdisciplinedPenny4408
Last post
 May 23rd
...See more I really have gave my all, been doing that for many years, trying everything that has been suggested. I know the common response is to say that I haven't tried hard enough or the right thing or something that makes me responsible for the way I feel. All I know is that I tried my best. I don't think it's meant to be. I'm not meant to be happy. If I could accept that I would be but because it's true I can't accept it. I don't know how to see these after I post them but I'm not looking for anything anyway. Just wanted to say that I really am ready to give up.
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It's finally over
Relationship Stress / by selfdisciplinedPenny4408
Last post
 February 5th
...See more Well my relationship is completely irreversibly over it's been coming for a while we're toxic to each other I went completely off way out of line she'll never talk to me again. Even though I was out of line the relationship was never going to work I know that in my head but I'm absolutely devastated completely alone and I hate it
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Feel like I am completely alone
Depression Support / by selfdisciplinedPenny4408
Last post
 December 20th, 2023
...See more Hello I don't know how to escape this feeling I don't know where to reach out to actually make real friends preferably offline. I'm a truck driver out of work at the moment dying financially and I don't even have anyone to ask for advice or help of any kind. I have a girlfriend but she has her own problems doesn't really have a solution for mine. I just always feel completely alone. It's really getting to me
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simple statement of a complicated problem
Relationship Stress / by selfdisciplinedPenny4408
Last post
 November 19th, 2023
...See more in a nutshell I either open up take a chance and get exploited and misled or a woman I'm with feels untrusted and irritated by my inability to say things that I am not yet sure about. very complicated situation but it seems always to be the case. I can say so much more but it really does always be one of those too when I start a new relationship. either I choose to believe in the person and and they are not genuine or I choose to take it slowly and my judgment and they find it insulting or don't understand it in some way that is unacceptable to them. Yes the simple answer is when the right one comes along blah blah blah each new attempt only sends me further away from anything healthy causing it to be even more difficult for the next not just for me but I if I become more difficult to deal with for them. this is not a for me statement or request for feedback on and I'm putting out. It is real I have spoke with many people on these matters and has been a very long time ago send anyone has seen something that is in my error. the only thing I am told is when the right one comes along blah blah. I truly I think I just let it go and accept I'm not meant to be in a healthy or even lasting relationship. I have in my life learn to accept some things that were very very hard to accept but this one I cannot accept though I try because if I did if I could I would be happy but I can't. getting complicated already lol they're infinite applications and the interactions with two people seems chance alone should land me in a health relationship. but it's always love one of two ways always seems possibly unlikely that is due to chance alone. just for the record yeah I am impossibly confused right now and the most certainly there are errors in what I just said actually I don't know what I'm even trying to say so you don't need to point that out or suggested maybe I'm just not ready. where I am right now from just my latest event to be single and get right with myself. I have done that many times I speak with the people some of them professionals in this field not one of them l believes this is a flaw in myself. some some of them will admit that It does seem to have no answer and indeed it is a very difficult thing for them to have any advice on because again they really see no problem with the things I'm doing or saying or feeling and chance alone would say it can't always be the same. Even with two possible results the out of this happening are astronomically low. but most will say just got to wait all right person blah blah blah I'm open to any thoughts outside that That box. any new information on way of looking at this hope you have great bye with me actually think I'm not meant to be happy. there are people through no fault of their own same to have unfair things happen to him around them even in them that cause blasting universal damage who's the same that one of them admit this isn't how it's supposed to It is supposed to be. That is what I seek to except I don't know why I'm still unable to
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how do you learn to trust alone?
Relationship Stress / by selfdisciplinedPenny4408
Last post
 November 5th, 2023
...See more So I have major trust issues and time and time again I am told that I need to work on myself and bring these things out until then I will be incapable of having a healthy relationship. I do believe in self-improvement in almost all cases that is something that has to be done within oneself by yourself essentially. in the case of learning to trust others though I can't imagine how one would learn to trust others without their being an other to trust. trust is built slowly through giving it and it not being betrayed also in believing you're having faith that you're being told the truth and allowing time to verify that. in both cases from my perspective it cannot be done alone requires participation of another. That being said again I acknowledge that I have you very large problem trusting others especially in a romantic relationship and I also acknowledge my near inability to do it without some factual support does make being in a healthy relationship seem almost impossible. Look forward to Boston opinions on this matter I personally am feeling stuck in my ability to see things in a different way.
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gathering my strength
Relationship Stress / by selfdisciplinedPenny4408
Last post
 November 3rd, 2023
...See more another night sitting here trying to figure out what I've done wrong when I don't think it's anything that I've done wrong by no means my perfect I'm not saying she's wrong either. just sitting here gathering my strength going over and over in my mind things that I know. this relationship is toxic we have to split up I love her I believe she loves me but it's just so much more pain than it is happiness. pray that I'm right and believing that we love each other even though we're very doubtful will make it as unhappy as I am I don't want to know that she's not sincere. Even if she is her actions show me very different things hurt lack of desired make me happy and heartbreaking to say the least and her blaming me for everything is wrong in the relationship for all the negative feelings she encounters is more than I can I feel as though I'm at least proficient in relationships and understanding and I get none not a pity pot that I'm on. whether it's just where I'm sitting cuz I gather my strength even if she breaks it off she'll come back the next day tell me all about how I heard her how her needs are getting considered how selfish I am so I'm gathering my strength though move on not to blame not the point fingers just find some way for us to not be together hopefully with his little pain for either of us as possible. All of a sudden don't ask me tomorrow for the other I'm weak and we probably will be I know it will be until I gather enough strength to end this. May God be with me I will need a strength cuz I don't have enough to do this.
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psychologically based ED
Relationship Stress / by selfdisciplinedPenny4408
Last post
 October 30th, 2023
...See more Yes really hard to talk about this glad I don't have to look anybody in the faces I do it lol I have mild ED I've tried medical treatments my last doctor told me and all likelihood based on my symptoms it's psychologically based I don't know if I can get any help with that here.
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I have to find a way to want to be alone
Relationship Stress / by selfdisciplinedPenny4408
Last post
 October 31st, 2023
...See more So tired of looking for this fantasy that I've believed in my whole life I have no idea from capable of changing myself enough to actually want to be alone the desire to find that special someone is just caused me nothing but heartache turmoil stress etc have no idea how to get that deep and change those things into myself but I have to. and please please don't anyone try to reply with this love and belief and faith and what's meant to be crap I might actually believe it again.
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