Men, are you happy after playing a woman?
Dear gentlemen, happened to me and so many ladies around me lately, so I have to ask: What do you feel when you are playing with a woman? What do that bring? Why not honest communication?
It all starts with men playing emotionally unavailable, then in love, then claiming that feelings have disappeared.
I would appreciate explanation and honesty.
Would not be so much easier to ask for sex directly?! Why messing around?! Gosh! Can't wrap my head around it!
Hey, Dossema.
Sadly, I don't think you will get a response, or at least not one you are hoping for. I think people play games because they might get rejected if they tell the truth about what they really want. Some men don't want to be in a relationship, but the women they are interested in having sex with do want a relationship. So, to get to their end goal, they have to pretend they want that too, until she gives in. I think the only solution is to commit to yourself, not to give in, and try to get to know the guy as much as possible. The ones that want to be in a relationship will likely stick around, especially if you tell them upfront that you have no intentions of sleeping with them for a long time. Hopefully, that will weed some of the wrong ones out.
Have standards up front and don't settle for anything less than that. You should write down your non-negotiables and keep them to yourself. Don't ever share your list because people are good at faking things and will try to fit what you need to get what they want. As the guy reveals things to you, go through your mental list and check them off.
Move on as soon as you see red flags and don't look back. They will test your boundaries if given a chance.
I hope this helps and good luck.
this was so helpful ð©·
@Dossema
Hey, Dossema.
Sadly, I don't think you will get a response, or at least not one you are hoping for. I think people play games because they might get rejected if they tell the truth about what they really want. Some men don't want to be in a relationship, but the women they are interested in having sex with do want a relationship. So, to get to their end goal, they have to pretend they want that too, until she gives in. I think the only solution is to commit to yourself, not to give in, and try to get to know the guy as much as possible. The ones that want to be in a relationship will likely stick around, especially if you tell them upfront that you have no intentions of sleeping with them for a long time. Hopefully, that will weed some of the wrong ones out.
Have standards up front and don't settle for anything less than that. You should write down your non-negotiables and keep them to yourself. Don't ever share your list because people are good at faking things and will try to fit what you need to get what they want. As the guy reveals things to you, go through your mental list and check them off.
Move on as soon as you see red flags and don't look back. They will test your boundaries if given a chance.
I hope this helps and good luck.
its not about all men..... everyone is different...and i know so many women's who played too.....but u are targeting only men.....that's so bad
I think maybe the question has come from an experience with a man which is why it's worded the way it is. I don't think it's suggesting that women can't play games as well.
I completely agree with the other post about sometimes people are scared of being up front about what they want for fear of rejection but life would definitely be easier if they just were as at least you'd know where you stand. But filtering out the "good" ones from the "not so good" ones is probably the only way to protect yourself
Social interactions can be a minefield of defense mechanisms and vulnerability
@Dossema
Dear Lady 😊
I believe that is very kind of you to be mindful and ask important questions. However, I am not sure if my answers could be satisfying for you:
I guess I have never tried to play with a woman. Maybe some flirting, but only to the point where she may feel attractive, adored or more interested to talk and know me better. Not to the point the person could feel manipulated, used or hurt (though it make take being very cautious to not cross the border).
I have always tried to use open communication - and it mostly turned against me.
I have never been emotionally unavailable - with the same results as above.
I have always shown or told when I was in love - with the same results as above.
I believe claiming that feelings disappeared is dishonest, manipulative and pointless when they did not (or when there have never been any "feelings" at all). When they really disappear, in a long-term relationship... Well... "Houston, we've got a problem" 😢
"Would not be so much easier to ask for sex (or a hug, or a kiss, I must add) directly?!" Usually no. Because I believe most ladies never express their desires this way. So, I guess, they would not accept talking straight from a gentleman. Also, that could ruin the entire atmosphere - making it feel awkward, mechanical or rude. I think speaking and reading the body language is better.
I believe it also depends on the environment: it could be much easier to find a candidate for a marriage in a church group, someone we could spend our life talking to, until we are both getting old - in a library, and a candidate for a one-night affair at the disco club or at the corporate party.
How would you like the idea of not generalizing about men?
Have you ever tried to make a (strictly confidential, just for you) list of what you like the most, and what you dislike in your husband?
Thank you for your answer! I appreciate it and the open position of a man is very helpful.
My post wasn't generalization by any means. I absolutely understand we are all different, yet have similarities. So I was speaking from my personal pain, and recent shares of other women close to me, who experienced the same. While players do exist (both among men and women), I definitely don't claim that all men are like this. Maybe even players are different in different situations.. In my case, I feel pain. One year already. And my brain can't find explanation why people do that on purpose to other people..
As for my husband.. Tried lists, loong lists.. Not helping.
Thank you!
