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Dossema
1 1,537 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 43 Compassion hearts197 Forum posts60 Forum upvotes136 Current upvotes136 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceJune 30, 2024
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Feeling "Less than"
Work & Career / by Dossema
Last post
 January 23rd
...See more In general I am happy with my job, yet today our manager invited the team to share their goals for 2025, expecting few words from everyone. However, the first person shared directly the slide with their objectives subject to evaluation and bonus, the other 2 followed and then it was my turn. I literally zoned out, realizing that the yearly bonus I could reach is 33% less than the others' bonus. I stopped listening still the first colleague. Just as in the past, I felt the need to run and hide, I felt like I was less than the others, unrecognized, not appreciated.. My old programming was running me. The one that made me leave other jobs without even sharing the reasons. Feeling insulted and small... Gosh, I felt so bad. But I said to myself: you know you are enough. You know you are equally important. You are not a victim and you can't stand victim mentality. Then I collected myself, hid the part referring to my bonus and shared only my goals with the team. By doing so I believe I also protected my boss from being exposed - obviously the only woman in the team of four is subject to smaller bonus and likely a smaller salary too. So I swallowed it and finished the meeting. I still have this bitter feeling but I also want to address the situation in a professional manner. Not blaming, nor acting as a victim, not running as before. I would like to remain open, to communicate and to ask for what I think I deserve. Thank you for letting me share! Any advice from the corporate world is welcome :)
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Trauma or Normal Sex Drive?
50 & Over Community / by Dossema
Last post
 November 16th, 2024
...See more Ok, folks, you can tear me into pieces but I will dare to confess. I deeply love my husband for the wonderful human being he is. But I am not attracted anymore. We have long distance relationship in the last year. Moreover, I don't cheat but I dream about touch with passion, kisses, wild and long.. Nights. And I look. And sometimes when I look I start dreaming. Is this my trauma and willingness to be liked? Or it's a normal human thing after 20 years of marriage? Does it mean that I have to divorce? I tried many things but that boredom simply returns... :(
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Having an affair
50 & Over Community / by Dossema
Last post
 September 28th, 2024
...See more In your opinion, what are the reasons for that? Is there always a reason at all?!
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What do I REALLY want?
50 & Over Community / by Dossema
Last post
 October 10th, 2024
...See more Folks. I'm an empty nester. I've been married for 23 years but an year after the child left for the university, I split with my husband. I feel like I gave my all to my family and what's left is an empty shell with no personal desires, dreams and goals. Everything seems meaningless. OK, I am working, doing sports, volunteering, still helping kid financially and emotionally. I worked on my values and beliefs, rewired my brain to be looking for positive and yet, what I REALLY want is missing. Does someone who went through similar crisis have an advice for me? Thank you!
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Love life in long partnerships
35 & Over Community / by Dossema
Last post
 November 16th, 2024
...See more Hey folks! I hope you are doing well and enjoying your life! We sometimes form long relationships and we love our partners to the bottom of our heart. Still.. The love life becomes a bit.. dull. No more experiments. Same bodies, same routine, same touch, almost no kisses or playing beforehand. Tell me your secrets - how do you keep the love life magic alive too?
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A way back after cheating?
Relationship Stress / by Dossema
Last post
 July 24th, 2024
...See more People. I kind of cheated on my husband. First time in our 23 years relationship. I had a crush on another man and when I felt that, split with my husband. Spent few months dating with the other guy, had sex once, then we parted ways. I really appreciate my husband, he's a great friend and person. He's willing to get back together and... I just don't feel the same after the affair I had.. I see them differently, like part of him but would like another part to be different.. Is there a way back after kind of un-loving him? 😢
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Men, are you happy after playing a woman?
Relationship Stress / by Dossema
Last post
 November 16th, 2024
...See more Dear gentlemen, happened to me and so many ladies around me lately, so I have to ask: What do you feel when you are playing with a woman? What do that bring? Why not honest communication? It all starts with men playing emotionally unavailable, then in love, then claiming that feelings have disappeared. I would appreciate explanation and honesty. Would not be so much easier to ask for sex directly?! Why messing around?! Gosh! Can't wrap my head around it!
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40+ and played by a man .. What to do?!
Relationship Stress / by Dossema
Last post
 July 9th, 2024
...See more How do I get over the fact that I was played by a man?  I've been married for 20 years, so literally stopped dating in the early 2000s.. I think I stayed there, innocent, my guard down.. That guy appeared, said he has attachment issues, played with my mind, went hot and cold, played confused and not knowing what to do with his life, lied few times, disappeared for 4 months and blocked me meanwhile.. Then returned to apologize, to say it's him not me, and that he decided to stay alone for an year. It hurts so much! I feel so stupid for allowing him to play around, I feel I should have done something more and that I wasn't good enough. God! There were so many red flags from the very beginning and I just ignored them. How do I get over that? How do I survive? It hurts so much and it's a month already since he told me that..
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