I realised i have nobody at 20+. It's just me, my ptsd, my parents' issue and guys who only want me for the physical

I don't feel well. whatever i do to go to bed early i always wake up nauseous at the middle of the night, wanting someone around. my dad has a new house now and it hurts me i will never sleep in the same place as him ever. he's a doctor and always helped me when i was sick. since i was born i was nauseous. now my therapist said i want a boyfriend to replace my dad. i do feel comforted by men but then repulsed as they say it "you don't want to sleep with me, you only want to really sleep". I need to see if i can trust them. not risk my emotional and physical health for people who only care about the physical. so another night im alone. I actually never met anyone. it ends at texting as they see i have no intention and that I'm physically and mentally unwell. and need help as a human being