Gf Having Guy Friends
Me and my girl have been arguing a lot. I'm trying to accept her having guy friends but I just can't, I overthink every day, we broke up a couple nights ago, she came with me to help me move my stuff, she finally came to her self, I pulled over the truck we hugged it out and got back together that night on the agreement that she removes the guys I don't like, she did, we hangout 3 days later, the guy is back on her ***, I just try to forget about but I can't, it's bothering me throughout work, it's got me constantly checking her activate status, I just hate my head so much...
@Kaleb3645
I understand that feeling worried about your partner's friends can be really tough. It's important to remember that trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you're struggling with trust, it's something to address together. It’s natural to feel concerned, but trying to control who your partner befriends can create more problems.
Do you feel like you’re having trouble trusting your partner, or are you more worried about the men they’re friends with? Either way, for the relationship to thrive, building trust is key. It’s not fair to restrict who someone can be friends with, as that can cause further strain. Let’s focus on finding ways to strengthen your trust and communication.
It's just hard to trust because of situations in my past, and the way she's acting different after becoming friends with a new guy, she used to respond to me now she'll open my snap and won't respond for the whole day but be active texting other people and calling them
@Kaleb3645
I totally understand how your past experiences can make it difficult to trust your girlfriend. It's important to address those past issues that affect your ability to trust, as a healthy relationship relies on trust. I can see how it would make you feel insecure if it seems like she's ignoring you and responding to others instead.
Monitoring her online activity constantly isn't healthy for you or the relationship. If you're finding it hard to trust her and it's causing you a lot of stress, it might help to reflect on what you want from the relationship and whether she can provide those things. Communication is key in any relationship. Have you talked to her about how ignored and insecure you feel when she interacts with others but not with you? Sharing your feelings can help both of you understand each other better.
I would talk to her about it but I'm worried she's gonna get a attitude with me like she does most of the time when I try to talk about our relationship
@Kaleb3645
I understand why you might feel hesitant to talk to your girlfriend, especially if you're worried she might react negatively like she has in the past. It’s completely valid to feel this way. What do you think could happen if you avoid addressing the issue? Do you think it might lead to feelings of resentment in your relationship? Your feelings and concerns are important, and finding a way to communicate them can help both of you understand each other better.
If we don't fix it I'm just gonna be depressed all day at work like I have been
@Kaleb3645
I can understand how not addressing this issue could make you feel really depressed. Feeling depressed can be incredibly exhausting. It sounds like you're struggling with trust and communication in your relationship, which are so important for a healthy connection. What makes you stay in the relationship if these key elements are missing? Your feelings are valid, and it's important to consider what you need for your well-being.
I don't wanna give up on her. I don't want to break her heart. All of the arguments and problems are so worth it whenever we have a good day together. I'm so stuck, idk what to do.. I've thought about just not caring what she does anymore but I can't I care way to much. When we're upset with eachother my thoughts get so bad, if it's only me in the car I'll fly down backroads hoping I lose control so I don't have to deal with everything going on in my life rn but then there's always a car that gets in the way so I have to slow down, I always see that as a gaurdian angel making sure I don't wreck. Then I think about my siblings. The thought of them losing me always stops me from going to fast... my thoughts are everywhere rn...
@Kaleb3645
I'm really sorry to hear that your relationship is making you feel this way. It's a relief that you've never been in a wreck. I can truly understand how these intense thoughts can arise, and I'm glad you've never acted on them. I also get why you might not want to end the relationship because of the good moments and your concern about breaking her heart. But it's important to think about yourself, too. It seems like this relationship is really taking a toll on you. If you decide to stay with her, it's crucial to communicate what's going on. Do you think you can find a way to share your feelings with her?
I really don't know, but I've gotta try.. I'm at the point where if someone hugged me tight enough I'd break down
@Kaleb3645
You have to do what is best for you.
@Kaleb3645,
you are the one having trust issues. It's something you have to work on. It's not her responsibility to fix it. All you can ask for is understanding. And working on yourself. And learning to trust her, and others.
@Kaleb3645
Hello, Kaleb! I'm not sure if this would be helpful, but as someone who recently got cheated on by my partner of three years (who did not expect it at all), honestly cheating all starts with social media. When I was with my partner I easily unfollowed all the guys he was not comfortable with me following and I did so out of respect for him and to make sure that he felt comfortable and secure in the relationship. I also did it in understanding that he would do the same for me. In all honesty and as a female myself, it is so easy to unadd a guy that you have no feelings for. I understand that what you are going through is difficult and complicated (and am not trying to "fuel the flames" here so to speak) but I would see it as concerning that they are not willing to unadd them. My partner cheated on me with the girl he refused to unadd on social media. Again, not trying to make things worse just thought I would share my perspective and unfortunate experience.
@fearless1000
I was once in your position too. Constantly checking their social media activity status, snap score, and so on. You are not "paranoid" or acting irrationally. You should not "hate" your mind, you are just trying to protect yourself. Always trust your instincts. The girl friend I thought he was cheating on me with turned out to be true through all his denying and lies.
It is reasonable for you care about your partner and want to be aware of who they are communicating to that could possibly be seen as interest. Try communicating this to them in the nicest way possible, you could say that stuff like this occurs too often unfortunately. If you are still suspicious of a particular person and your instinct tells you that something is up I would suggest maybe even privately reaching out to the person in an anonymous way perhaps to see what is going on. Again, not trying to be pessimistic but am trying to help based on my experience with a similar thing.
It's really suspicious because in the agreement we had when we got back together, she was supposed to unadd him and the other guy, she unadded them right in front of my eyes, we hangout 3 days later and there back on her snap
@Kaleb3645
Yeah, you have good reason to be suspicious. A very similar thing happened with me and my now ex (of 3 years) and he did the same thing- unadded them in front of me- only to end up driving to her house with flowers, kissing her, holding her hand all while we were together.
If their friend did not mean anything to them in a deep way then unadding and never thinking about them again would be an easy thing to do. The fact that they are pursuing this relationship behind your back when they know it makes you uncomfortable is a red flag. Anyways, I truly hope that everything is alright and works out between you two. No one should have to put up with anything even remotely similar that I went through, being betrayed.
@fearless1000
Stay strong, and honestly you deserve to be with someone who ensures you're comfortable in the relationship, who is easily loyal, who is open, honest, and transparent, and someone who keeps their promises/means what they say.
I hear ya I’m going through the same situation the guy constantly texting her. I’m trying to accept it to.