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fearless1000
2 1,280 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts154 Forum posts49 Forum upvotes110 Current upvotes110 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceDecember 18, 2024
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Depressed by the Thought of Him with Her
Depression Support / by fearless1000
Last post
 January 24th
...See more Three year relationship completely down the drain when he cheated months ago. Now he’s with the girl and I cannot stand the thought of them together. The thought of him kissing her, loving her, hugging her, sleeping with her, holding her hand, and even driving to see her just all makes me sick. I’ve been so depressed and lonely. All my friends are busy and have canceling on me. I spend everyday alone, driving to class then driving home. I loved him so much. He left me for her and it’s so hard to see him “happy” with her. I wish that could have been us. I’ve lost so much weight and feel tired and weak; it’s hard for me to eat when I’m sad. But now I’m underweight and feel even worse. He was my best friend and he’s gone for good, happy with someone else when i still feel so strongly for him. I wish I felt nothing for him. I cannot imagine him with her. They are both so ugly and uneducated. Sadness seeps out of me. Sorry if this is a bit sporadic, I wrote this crying. Just some love would be nice and advice too.
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Advice and Support Needed! Huge Test in 2 Days
General Support / by fearless1000
Last post
 February 7th
...See more Hello everyone!! I have a big test coming up in two days and to be honest I do not feel really ready for it. Ive taken it twice already and both times I didn’t do well. This is my last chance to take it within this admission cycle. I’ve had such a hard time studying and focusing especially since going through some deep personal stuff that changed my life. It just hasn’t been easy since my parents are pressuring me to get a certain score on it and have told me that they would make me pay if I didn’t get that score… Advice and support would be nice please! I’m super stressed and am so worried of not doing well a third time and disappointing my parents who are already angry at me for not “trying my best” even though I am trying my best rn despite having dark thoughts and trying to take care of myself mentally first. This test literally determines my future in education. What should I do? I’m freaking out
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Betrayed; Lost My Best Friend, First Love, and Self-Esteem All In One (Advice Please)
General Support / by fearless1000
Last post
 January 5th
...See more Love is a cruel creature. How is there still love in my heart for him, the cheater.  He is with the girl he (most recently) cheated on me with now. I can't stand the thought of them together, it makes me sick. I cannot stop thinking and imagining them together. Stalking them despite blocking them both. How do I stop thinking of him? How do I stop thinking of her? How do I stop thinking of them? How do I unlove? How do I get the closure I never got? How do I learn to love myself again?  Sometimes I sadly think, if he (the only person I ever loved) abandoned me so easily and gave up on me why should I not give up on myself. I gave him everything and it wasn't enough. I adored him with everything I have despite his many flaws. He left our 3 year relationship for someone he knew for 3 days...
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Being cheated on changed my life, some support and friends would be nice
Relationship Stress / by fearless1000
Last post
 January 6th
...See more Hello! It is a bit scary for me to be vulnerable and share my recent experience but I hope that some good and support comes out of this. Four months ago my first love and partner of three years cheated on me and abandoned me; never taking accountability for what they did, never gave an explanation, and never answered any of my questions, they just disappeared. They night they cheated they sent me a message (while at the girl's house) saying that they "love me deeply and truly" and that we would "always" be together. The next day they ignored me the entire day while they were at the beach with the girl, they deleted the posts of us together on social media, and was active but ignoring me. He left our three year relationship for someone that he only knew for three days... It felt like my world fell apart. He is now dating the girl he most recently cheated on me with and is pretending to be super loyal and in love with her. They both are posting and she thinks she is so lucky to have found him and he is playing victim to what happened. It is unbearable seeing them together and seeing him happy after he destroyed my happiness. I blocked him on everything but I cannot help but occasionally stalk on fake accounts. I found out after we broke up that this more recent betrayal was not the first but the third! He had cheated two times prior with two different girls. I was devastated. It felt like my world completely went upside down. It felt like our entire three year relationship was fake, that our passionate love was fake. I was with him since I was 17, we went to prom together, and we were pretty serious. He was my first kiss even. We planned on getting married, having kids one day (even naming them), and he was even looking for rings were how naively serious we were. The worst part of it all is that he is gaslighting me, denying when we dated, lied about why we broke up, denying that he cheated, denying that he kissed me, saying we were "on and off," saying I am "crazy," making wild excuses to his new gf about what happened, and having the audacity to tell everyone that I cheated on him! It has been incredibly hard for me to deal with being gaslighted by the only person I have ever loved and still have love for. I have not talked to him since the day he cheated and abandoned me. The last thing he ever told me was that he was "sorry he wasn't good enough." Also, my self-esteem has taken a major hit after his infidelity. I have always been a confident person but after what happened I found that I do not even like myself. I doubt myself, doubt my appearance, and more. I even find myself trying to bring myself down to be more like the uneducated girl he is with now. I wear more makeup now and even want to change my hair color to that of the girl he is with now. If anyone has any advice for self-esteem rebuilding after infidelity I would be grateful and happy to hear it. This has been so devastating for me. I've lost an unhealthy amount of weight, cry everyday still, have nightmares, imagine them together, get nauseous thinking about what happened, uncontrollably check both of their socials, have a hard time focusing, have a hard time falling asleep (imaging them together), and cannot stop thinking of him all the time. I feel like I will be alone for the rest of my life. I recognize that I am dealing with post infidelity stress disorder (PISD) but honestly just need support from others who have, unfortunately, been through a similar experience. I do not understand why it has been so easy for him to "unlove me" and forget our three years together in four months and be with someone new. The thought of being with someone new makes me uncomfortable to this day. I've been in a dark place and making friends might help. If you read this far I appreciate it! Take care please everyone.
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