40+ and played by a man .. What to do?!
How do I get over the fact that I was played by a man?
 I've been married for 20 years, so literally stopped dating in the early 2000s.. I think I stayed there, innocent, my guard down.. That guy appeared, said he has attachment issues, played with my mind, went hot and cold, played confused and not knowing what to do with his life, lied few times, disappeared for 4 months and blocked me meanwhile.. Then returned to apologize, to say it's him not me, and that he decided to stay alone for an year.
It hurts so much! I feel so stupid for allowing him to play around, I feel I should have done something more and that I wasn't good enough. God! There were so many red flags from the very beginning and I just ignored them.
How do I get over that? How do I survive? It hurts so much and it's a month already since he told me that..
@Dossema
Dealing with betrayal and emotional pain after being played by someone can be incredibly difficult, especially after being in a long-term relationship where you might not have experienced this kind of dating dynamic for a long time. Here are some steps that might help you heal and move forward:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's normal to feel hurt, betrayed, and even angry. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. It's okay to grieve the loss of trust and the time invested.
2. Recognize It Wasn't Your Fault: Remind yourself that the other person's actions and choices are not a reflection of your worth or value. It's easy to blame yourself, but remember, you did nothing wrong by trusting someone who didn't deserve it.
3. Learn from the Experience: Reflect on the red flags you mentioned and use them as lessons for the future. Trust your instincts and boundaries more closely next time. This experience can help you grow stronger and wiser.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during this time. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend going through a similar situation.
5. Focus on Self-Care: Engage in activities that bring you comfort and joy. Whether it's hobbies, exercise, or relaxation techniques, taking care of yourself physically and emotionally is crucial.
6. Give Yourself Time: Healing takes time, and it's okay to take as much time as you need to fully recover from this experience. Be patient with yourself throughout the process.
Remember, you are not alone in going through this, and there is healing and growth on the other side. You deserve to be with someone who respects and values you. 🌹🤗
Appreciate your time, advice and support â¤ï¸
On one hand, it's not my fault but on the other, a relationship is made by two, right? So I must have done something wrong ð¤¯
And given that painful experience, the decision whether to get back with my husband (who's really respectful and man of honor) is so f&%Ing difficult.. My mind will explode.