Thrown away?
I struggle to make true friends. I love people VERY deeply, so Ive always had a hard time with the whole friends come and go thing... Ive always been relatively popular, but eventually they always leave me, no matter how close we are. Not that Im COMPLETELY alone, Im really close to my family, and I have 1 bestfriend that I trust wont throw me away, but that doesnt make the rest hurt any less. I feel like I always give little pieces of myself away to these people, and when they stop caring, I just feel empty. Does anyone else feel this way? I know I need to start accepting that casual friendships are ok, but I can never stop myself from getting too attached. I just hate the feeling of always caring about others more than they care about you... It honestly hurts more than someone hating you. At least if they hate you, they care about you at ALL. Being forgotten is far worse...
Its not even like I let people in that easy, either. Im a fairly cynical person, so it takes a while for me to really warm up to people. Are people just treating me like some kind of challenge? Lets see how long it takes for me to warm up to the closed off girl, and then leave when I get bored?