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Thrown away?

forestfaoladh July 10th, 2019
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I struggle to make true friends. I love people VERY deeply, so Ive always had a hard time with the whole friends come and go thing... Ive always been relatively popular, but eventually they always leave me, no matter how close we are. Not that Im COMPLETELY alone, Im really close to my family, and I have 1 bestfriend that I trust wont throw me away, but that doesnt make the rest hurt any less. I feel like I always give little pieces of myself away to these people, and when they stop caring, I just feel empty. Does anyone else feel this way? I know I need to start accepting that casual friendships are ok, but I can never stop myself from getting too attached. I just hate the feeling of always caring about others more than they care about you... It honestly hurts more than someone hating you. At least if they hate you, they care about you at ALL. Being forgotten is far worse...

Its not even like I let people in that easy, either. Im a fairly cynical person, so it takes a while for me to really warm up to people. Are people just treating me like some kind of challenge? Lets see how long it takes for me to warm up to the closed off girl, and then leave when I get bored?

3
mytwistedsoul July 10th, 2019
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@hakovoid Hey How are you?

I know - it's kind of a stupid question. I just wanted to stop and say hi. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's hard when you feel as though you're disposible and easily forgotten. Please try not to take it as something that's a reflection of you. Some people just - well - some people are just crap. It sounds harsh and maybe judgmental on my part. It's hard to meet honest people who will be around for the long run. Everyone is always out for something.

There's alot of nice people here. It was really brave of you to share here. It's hard to put yourself here like this. I hope to see you around!

forestfaoladh OP July 10th, 2019
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@mytwistedsoul thank you, I appreciate the support! Im going to be trying to make new friends. I know there are still honest people out there, it just always sucks when someone you thought was honest, turns out to be a user. Im trying my best to remember the good times, but I cant help but always feel bitter and regretful over the lost relationship... almost like I wasted my time? Im trying to use these experiences (from my own mistakes and theirs) as lessons in how to treat people better.

mytwistedsoul July 10th, 2019
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@hakovoid You're welcome! It does suck when you put a lot of time and effort into something that leaves you feeling bitter and regretful - because it does make you feel like you wasted your time. I am glad to hear that you want to try and make new friends. It says a lot of good things about you! Using our bad experiences - although they suck - is a good way to grow and yeah - like you said use it as lessons on how to treat others. I wish more people would do that. It would just make the world a better place. Stay strong - stay awesome!

Be gentle with yourself - take care!