Stayed after being cheated on?

@TheFortress

He/she broke your trust once. Youre better than that and will find the perfect on for you. Dont go back.

@DayDream29 Were married and have a newborn.

@TheFortress i knew i was being cheated on but i never had the courage to confront him ( I was scared he might admit he was cheating and my home would come crashing down/ i didn't want to face my nightmare) . I somehow used to convince myself that i was simply overthinking and that he would never do something like that to me until one day he openly admitted that he was seeing someone else. I had been with that man for 7 years and the day he confessed was the last i ever saw him. I did stay initially hoping things would turn differently but i left eventually.

@purpleFarm4578 Im so proud of you for being able to cut ties when you did. You didnt deserve to be taken for granted like that. No one does. Its such a hard situation.

@TheFortress I stayed. Its hard of course but if you can work through it then things will be okay. I highly recommend this book called After the Affair by Janis Abrahams Spring. As long as you both are will parties to work on it, be open and honest.

@TheFortress its a continuous process. I wish there was a switch and you can forget or even just move past it as easily as the one who did the cheating can. But unfortunately it takes time. One of the most powerful statements my friemd told me when my boyfriend cheated on me was ," you can choose to walk away and move on or you can stay. just know if you stay, you are deciding to stay and work through these issues. not stay and hang onto it or hold it over his head.but by stressing, you are choosing to deal with whatever may follow after making that decision". I think the hardest part is not knowing why. and even if they tell us why, not understanding how they could do something like that. but sometimes our thoughts get the best of us and we have to revert back to how do I feel, what will make ME happey,etc.

@neatluna9328 Thank you so much. I don't think you understand how much that quote truly resonates with me. I know I'm holding onto it all and I'm holding it over his head (more than I probably should given that I've chosen to stay- for now). But it's honestly eating me up inside. It's all-consuming. Every time I try to think about anything, I just become flooded with anger and sadness. He says he regrets it more than anything else in the world, and that it will never happen again. But he cheated before we got married, and so I guess once a cheater always a cheater. I don't trust a single word he says to me. And it sucks because I love this man to death- or I did. Until this happened, he was my world. Everything I did was for him and I loved him so deeply. But now... it's like he broke something inside me, and I couldn't care less. I love him. But now I'm not sure if I'm in love with him. I'm not happy anymore, and I'm stuggling to decide if I ever will be happy with him again.

@TheFortress

You shouldn't let any person make you feel like this. Or treat you this way. But if you really want to make it work then you can try to understand why he did what he did. Have an honest conversation about it with him. Although he will also have to look inwards and understand what trauma is the underlying cause of his behaviour.

If you think that looking at it from his perspective will help, both of you can try to work things out. Otherwise, you should let him go. Don't subject yourself to this mental abuse. You deserve better ❤️

@TheFortress

You are worth so much more than that. He cheated before you married, once you were married and he'll do it again because you've shown that he can and you'll take him back. When you take them back once they think they have unlimited chances. Trust me, he'll break your heart over and over no matter how sorry he is in the moment. Look after you and you baby. X

@TheFortress

I have never stayed!!! Always left

@Zulegirl I admire your strength and confidence.

@TheFortress

@TheFortress My ex is a player and we are now just friends but he is already with someone else

@Dancersoul Im not sure how you could stay friends with them. Im having a hard time even thinking about them.

@TheFortress Hello

I stayed. My story was different though it was my wife that betrayed me, but it was an online/phone affair with an old friend of hers on Facebook that I discovered before it became actually physical.

I still considered it cheating though.
I wanted to tell you that it has been almost 6 years now since that happened, and I have taken the decision forgive and let go. However, these experiences always occupy you and later when times got tough between us as life would normally throw at you, I remember what happened and got more upset. It was unfair to her because I already told her I have let go.
I guess what I want to say is if u decide to forgive him and stay make sure u expect the residues to pop up again when the relationship gets stressed.
Letting go is not easy I know and maybe forgiving is best. It is noy weakness as long as you go through it and u are happy.
best of luck