Feeling down about being single

Hey there, I'm sorry that being single has you feeling so down, and I know that there can be a lot of important put on dating in high school and what's "normal" about that. I'm going to be honest with you--I'm almost 20 years old and I've never been in a relationship, so I can understand a lot of the feelings of disappointment that you're having. Do you think there's anything else in your life that you could focus on that brings you enjoyment besides relationships--like hobbies, school, other goals? What do you think makes being in a relationship so important for you?

I know it can seem like there must be something "wrong" with you, but I want you to know that there isn't anything wrong with you and that a lot more people than you might expect have this same issue! A lot of people I know didn't start dating until college or even afterwards and that's okay too, everyone has experiences at different times in their lives, but I understand that the waiting is frustrating. You said you feel strongly about love, and I am wondering if you feel strongly about other types of love, like friendship love or family love or love of pets or love of a hobby? Because for me, it sometimes helps to focus on those types of love in my life if I find myself feeling down.

Sending good thoughts your way!

Don't feel too down! I'm 20 and have never been in a relationship or even out on a real date. It's hard especially around this time of year to try and understand why it feels like everyone else can be happy and you're still single.

For me particularly it doesn't help mixed in with my anxiety, it's easier tobelieve something is wrong with me, to see everyone around me inrelationships and doing coupley thingsI figure well something must be wrongwith me, and jump to the worstconclusions making myself feel bad. That is all easier to me than to let's sayrather be hopeful and positive that someone is out there. But we just haveto remember we're still young, and there is still time.

Focus on yourself, I'm learning you have to love yourself before you can love others, and let others love you. It'snot as easy as it sounds but I have faith something will work out someday.

Just know I understand what you're going through, you're not alone.

Do not feel bad about being single. It's not easy but believe me there are many things that loneliness teaches.
Thisembarrasses me butI have 24 and I've never had a relationship, a lot of friends and they come and go so quickly but i don't have BFF or things like that. I think this it's about life, environments and ways ... sometimes we have to learn to live with ourselves before sharing with others and loneliness helps us out. Sometimes it is bitter but not have to be bad.

I understand the anxiety becomes a serious problem, scratching our souls but someone will always worse and not worth being overcome what overwhelms us. Silence is only silence until we decided to fill it with laughter or crying, we're the only ones who can choose how much space left to frustrations.

Cheer up. We are not alone.

I hear you and fully understand - I too have never been in a relationship and I'm almost27 - 14 years I've triedand failed - anyway just thought I'd say that.

I constantly get told to "love m

yself before others can love me" - it has lost meaning to me..

Hi!

I was 17 once upon a time. Much of it hurt mainly because of a relationship i had with my partner that tore my life apart.

I'm now in my 20's and I have spent so much time healing from the damage that was done to me.

Heres my two cents:

- You are a wonderful, bright intelligent person. You have so much to explore and so much to learn !

- Love yourself. Dont be afraid to open up to your friends about the close stuff... If they dont respect your boundries it's time to leave.

- Cheerish the time you have with yourself- Go learn something new, join a new group, sing, dance, draw, be silly, cook, make your own facemasks, meditate.... Do all the things you have wanted to do and do them now. It keeps you busy and you allow yourself to meet some awesome people !

Finally if you do want to dateand find someone that you like

-Make sure that person means alot to you and you mean alot to them.

- its ok to go slow- relationships dont happen overnight! they take work and commitment

hope that helps

Here's a little bit of old man (46) insight. Get out there. :) Do the things you naturally like, but find groups that do them. At 17, and really, forever after that, the onus is put on the man to go out and woo the girl. If you're shy, that formula is naturally going to keep you from a relationship. But if you are in a group setting, and stay long enough with the same people who already share the group's common interest with you, it will allow women to see that you are not un-good looking, not mean, and not unintelligent. :) A friendship based on that can quickly turn into the emotional intimacy you seek.

Secondly, there is nothing wrong with being shy, unless it is stopping you from achieving the things you want and need in life. You think it might be. It may be. :) When you find those casual groups you want to join, the first day you meet is the best day to shed that shyness. A friendly "Hi. I'm new. Do you like this group?" is all you need. The group members will already feel positively towards you because by sharing a common interest, you are validating their and complimenting their taste. And if you can make that first "Hi" and a short question to a woman in the group, you won't need to do anything but smile and nod afterwards because (generalized potential truth coming, be prepared) men are good at asking questions, and women are good at answering them. :) While everyone likes to talk about themselves, women appreciate the inherent compliment that a question about themselves means even more so. You ask because you care. People like to be cared about.

I won't go into the reasons for shyness, I'm sure there are a million, but if it is holding you back, don't be afraid to shed it. If you had a really bad haircut that you knew was turning away women who otherwise might like you, wouldn't you get a new haircut (or at least wear a hat :))? A little confidence (and that just means being comfortable with yourself, it does not require cockiness) shows that you know you are valuable. That will make others want to find out what that treasure is you're sitting on. Hearing that you understand the natural importance of love, you really are holding on to a truly rare treasure. You don't have to share what your treasure is right away (in fact, don't :) it will reveal itself through your actions), but you might want to at least share that you have some hidden gold with a pleasant "Hi." Viola, girl friends, and maybe then girlfriends. :)

Oh, and if it all goes terribly wrong in that first meeting, try not to get down on yourself about it. Orville and Wilbur Wright crashed a few planes before getting one off the ground. Just find another group and keep practicing that "Hi." Oh, and practice the Dean Winchester smile in the mirror (Supernatural TV series). You'll be happy you did. :)

Take care.

Hi! I'm almost 21 and I've only been in one relationship ever. It was my senior year of high school. I went through high school with the thoughts that you're having. I didn't understand why my friends were so easily able to date but I wasn't. I believe my "problem" is the same as yours, in that I'm very quiet when I first meet people. Once I get to know them, I feel more comfortable being silly and not being so quiet. I really enjoy being silly and goofy, it just takes me a little while to get used to people to the point where I can be that way. However, as I have learned, that is no problem. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being shy and quiet! It took me a long time to figure that out. I promise you that that is no fault against you. High school is a different world. When I got to college, I was surrounded by so many new people and I pretty much could just start over. Don't let what's happening to you in high school be too much of a burden on you! Things definitely will get a lot better, and that I can say from experience. As for the one relationship I had, like I said, we started dating when we were seniors in high school. We started at different colleges and he basically left me for another girl. A lot (not all) of high school relationships end up that way. Maybe not exactly that way, but a lot of relationships that transition from high school to college don't last forever, and that's okay. Look on the bright side, you don't have to worry about making someone jealous if you act a certain way. You can just do what you want!

Hi I'm 27 and I'very been single my entire life! :(

Trust me, Alan you are not alone. I haven't dated anyone yet and I'm a senior in high school. You're right, it is really hard and I does get lonely. But you get to learn a lot about yourself like your likes and dislikes, without comprising anything about yourself. Have you thought about focusing you're emotions into something creative? Maybe writing, painting, dancing, acting, or constructive something. It may not seem like much but it gives you such a sense of satisfaction that you'll feel proud and complete without relaying on another person to give you that feeling. And if you feel more confident with just being yourself, you'll have an easier time finding someone who make you happy. Hope that helped!

Hello there Alan. I'm sorry you feel this way, but let me say I completely understand you. I'm a 16 really single girl and sometimes I get compliments and looks, then I wonder "why doesn't this guy just come and talk to me or smile to me or anything?" "Why am I single?" I even wonder if I trully am pretty and I care about beauty, but not that much, I like simple beauty, I likelittle things, what I get myself looking on someone is his style, the way he walks, the way he acts, the things he likes to do, the whole thing and also, imperfections. I kinda like people's imperfections sometimes cause nobody's perfect and I see beauty in everything. So, yeah, focus on finding beauty in yourself and your life, focus on doing what you have pleasure to do, what makes you feel alive, what can never leave you, because peoplecome and go, one day, when you're not searching for, a girl will just appear and ask your name and you will like her and she will like you. Don't forget to be always confident and kind enough, have little attitudes, practice on it, you can always learn, and you can have it and be shy at the same time. I, for example, love the shy-quiet-on his corner ones. So yeah, don't worry, you will find someone. :)