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struggle of familiarity vs. growth
ValentineLove March 11th, 2018
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I am in the midst of crawling towards the exit of a 7 year "relationship" with it still gripping my feet. Although its grasp is warm and familiarly comforting, I know from experience that its grasp holds pain. Amidst the pain lies good memories and moments where I grew to be the person I am because of them. But the foundation itself is crumbling from years of neglect; too many times where problems were swept beneath a tattered rug, a feeble attempt of facing the crude reality of it all.

And as I stare at the exit, I can't help but periodically glance over my shoulder with longing and remorse. Even though the cheers in the distance are urging me to keep going, the pleading of the past makes it hard to focus on anything else. I feel as though I am being torn in two and the uncertainty that lies within me hurts almost as much as the familiar pain I once lived in.

I feel as though I can't trust myself or the feelings that cling to my veins. I just want peace, but the turmoil of this journey to growth makes me want to turn back. And I'm so, so, tired.

I suppose there isn't a question, or a request for advice. I'm just hurting all the time, and I hate it.

2
Willow2626 March 11th, 2018
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Hi Val,

First, you seem like an awesome person.. love your profile. I relate so much.

And I relate to your heartache. I'm deciding to end a 6-year relationship... it hurts so badly. And is so hard to do. I'm not sure I can offer much support, just that I feel your pain. I've found it helpful to keep in mind that there will be better days and all we can do is learn from experiences like this. And difficult decisions like this are often the right ones to make and lead us to better places.

❤️❤️❤️

ValentineLove OP March 11th, 2018
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@Willow2626 Thank you, Willow. I'm sorry to hear you're going through the same thing. I hope you continue to reach out for support when you need it and that you remain kind to yourself during this difficult journey. We're bound to fall down once in awhile, maybe even scrape up our knees while we're at it, but (in my opinion) scars from a journey of growth are better than the false comfort gained from settling among the familiar.

Thank you again for your kind words. Good luck with everything, and I hope you never stop fighting for yourself and your right to happiness.

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