What to do?
My husband of 12 yrs with 2 kids left yesterday morning and now I’m not sure what to do. I had the feeling he was off in the last couple of years. I thought it was because I was not paying attention to him, I had to be with my dad because he was battling cancer. And 6 months ago he passed away from ALS. So I am grieving and sad and knew that my husband was distant. He didn’t give me the support that I needed. So I worked on myself, journaling etc. I asked directly if it’s because he is seeing someone else and he laughed it off and said I was over thinking and that we are fine. And I never checked his phone because I trusted him. So yesterday morning I saw a text from the girl and he finally admitted that he have been talking to her. And just talking not cheating. I said it’s emotional cheating. The entire time I am trying to see what went wrong and suggested couple counseling and all that he just brush me off like I was crazy. So to know the truth it hurt like hell. I kicked him out and told him to leave. Then later that afternoon I called him because it shouldn’t end that way and we should talk. He didn’t answer and I texted him. And no answer till 9pm he texted back and said that he is so sorry that he caused all this and that he loved us. I told him that at least it is out in the open and we can work on it. But he didn’t respond at all. And now it’s there next day. No call no text. Didn’t come home. And I didn’t contact him because maybe he needs time. Am I doing the right thing? Why am I the one hurting but also the one waiting？I don’t know what the truth is. Do I believe that he says he never met her in real life? And how serious are they? Talking for a year? And I am a super loyal person never cheated on anyone so I’m going crazy here. Can’t help but think about who he talks to and what made him choose her over me. I work, do house chores, take care of the girls and the dogs. And recently he have not been working so I got another job which is very stressful for me. Now this happens. And no one knows, I didn’t tell the kids. I just feel completely alone.
@limegreenBeechwood6100
Makes me really sad to read this
You deserve a partner who supports you and loves you, specially someone who doesn't run away when things get tough or when you need them the most
You did the right thing by asking him directly and even calling out on his sh!t
Plesee talk to some listeners here or in groups you don't have to go through this alone❤
Whatever happens always remember to not settle with something you don't agree, choose yourself and your kids, you are doing the best you can and you don't need anyone's lying or cheating self around to hurt you or pull you down in anyway.
You deserve love safety honesty
Thank you for responding. I feel like I have been doing the right thing all the time, tbh I am just questioning myself. No matter what I do, it still turns out this way. Today is day 4 and he still didn’t come back. I texted him yesterday that I was worried and he just replied he is ok. Didn’t ask about the kids and the kids didn’t ask for him either. He’s been so distant from them that they don’t even notice he’s not home. I know it’s good for me too if he is out of my life but i am still hanging on to hope. I haven’t even heard the whole story, I don’t even know what had happened. It’s so sudden. I can’t sleep or eat. My kids ask me why I look so sad. And I know I should just keep my self busy and happy for them but it’s so hard to do anything because I feel miserable. I don’t talk to anyone because in case he wants to come back I don’t want people to think of him differently. So posting here helps a little. Just to vent it out. I’m going crazy here.