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limegreenBeechwood6100
3,552 M Seeking Light 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts79 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2022 Member sinceJanuary 21, 2022
Recent forum posts
How to forgive husband for cheating
Relationship Stress / by limegreenBeechwood6100
Last post
 February 2nd, 2022
...See more We are married for 12 yrs with 2 kids. Recently I found out he have been talking to another women for a year, he said he never met her. Emotional cheating is quite painful. Over the last couple of years, I was very alone and tried numerous times to reach out to him because he is distant and unhappy. I thought he was depressed. 6 months ago, I lost my dad to ALS and the last 2 yrs of his life we were dealing with his stage 4 cancer, so I was having a tough time. I never felt so alone. I asked him if there was another women because my gut feeling was that he has someone else. He laughed at me and said I was over thinking. So I let that go and just worked on myself. And I blame myself for being sad around him and wanted too much from him. When I finally found out 2 weeks ago he was talking to someone else, I was devastated. I found out because I saw her text. He finally admitted and left our home for a week. During this week, I told him I wanted to work it out with him because I don’t take our commitment/ marriage lightly. He came home and said he loves us. He said he felt lonely and that he knew that what he had with her will never happen. It started with playing online games. She was lonely and he was just there for her. It hurts really bad to hear because I am feeling soooo sooo lonely while he was comforting her. And I trusted him with what he said, never question him about it after I asked if there was another women. I’m upset because it was up until the last minute that he got caught he admitted it, during that year of me being “crazy” the thought of stop communication with her never occurred. Anyway, he said he stopped talking to her and deleted the WhatsApp app. I really don’t know what kind of relationship they had. Now that he is home, he doesn’t talk about it. I know he feels bad but I feel like I still don’t understand. It just seems like he is home and we are suppose to forget what happened and move on. I am having trouble letting it go and it still hurts me everyday when I think about how he lied to me every single time. And how every morning he would leave our bed to talk to her in another room. And that it went on for a year. I blame myself for trusting him instead of my gut. Why would someone leave the same time every morning and stay in a different room till midnight? I just thought he wanted his space to play games or do his thing. So yeah, i feel so messed up right now i see him and I’m suppose to be happy because we are working on becoming a stronger couple but this pain is still very present in me. I don’t know how to feel. Should I let it go and try to be happy? Is it really not that bad and I am over-reacting? so if anyone have experience, please let me know how to forgive. Thank you.
To forgive or Not
35 & Over Community / by limegreenBeechwood6100
Last post
 February 19th, 2022
...See more I’m 43 and have 2 kids, in the past 2 yrs I felt very alone because my husband distant himself from us. I was going through a hard time with my dad’s battle with cancer and eventually died from ALS 6 months ago. During this time he didn’t offer any emotional support and I thought he was depressed. So I am working to change myself and ask for counseling but he turned it down saying everything was okay. 5 days ago I found out he was talking to another women for about a year and he left. I am still in shock. I did ask him one time if he has someone else but he laughed at me and I felt bad to even ask. So I trusted him. This is my 2nd marriage, 12 yrs. My first marriage was 10 yrs and my ex also left me with the girl he cheated on me with and it took me so long to recover. With my husband, he knows about this and he said he would never do such a cowardly thing. I trust him and didn’t want my pass trauma to affect this relationship so when I found out, the pain is even worse. After my dad passed away, I told him things need to change, he is so cold and distant from me. And I started working on myself, gave him more attention and just doing all that I can. And he is still giving me silent treatment when I try to communicate with him, I just feel like a bad person around him, like a needy controlling wife. I’m starting to go crazy. He texted me a day after he left and say he is sorry and that he loves me and the kids. I said to come home and talk about it and he ignored me for a couple of days, then I texted him come home, family is important and to forgive himself. yesterday he texted me a long message about his guilt and how he can’t face me. I did not respond because I don’t know what to say. Maybe I am just so lost, anyone here have a suggestion? i think I want to stay together to work it out because of my kids and I feel like grass is not greener elsewhere. You just have to keep watering your own grass. That have always been my mentality and he knows it. I never cheated on anyone in my life because I know how that felt from the first marriage. It can really mess you up. Going through this a second time almost make me feel hopeless to be honest. How can I ever trust people again? I am worry I cannot forgive him and that would be my reason I don’t want him back. Also, if he really want me back he should come to me instead of sending me text saying he can’t face me. So if I was him I would man up and own the mistake and tell me what he done wrong and how he will work on being better. Basically right now I only get the apology but no action. So if I say come back, would he be coming back with 100% effort? It just drives me crazy that this whole time I was begging him to work on our relationship when he already has his emotional needs satisfied by her. It was until the last moment when I saw the text from her that he finally gave in and told me the truth. The thing is he said it’s only talk and it’s been one year. I can’t help but question if that is the truth or not. If he still talks to her or not? And then if they have cyber sex or not. Just so many things going through my head. Thanks for listening, I don’t know where to vent, I keep this to myself so he doesn’t have to look bad if we work things out. If everyone knows they will always look at him differently. Any comments/ suggestions are welcome. Thank you.
What to do?
Relationship Stress / by limegreenBeechwood6100
Last post
 January 23rd, 2022
...See more My husband of 12 yrs with 2 kids left yesterday morning and now I’m not sure what to do. I had the feeling he was off in the last couple of years. I thought it was because I was not paying attention to him, I had to be with my dad because he was battling cancer. And 6 months ago he passed away from ALS. So I am grieving and sad and knew that my husband was distant. He didn’t give me the support that I needed. So I worked on myself, journaling etc. I asked directly if it’s because he is seeing someone else and he laughed it off and said I was over thinking and that we are fine. And I never checked his phone because I trusted him. So yesterday morning I saw a text from the girl and he finally admitted that he have been talking to her. And just talking not cheating. I said it’s emotional cheating. The entire time I am trying to see what went wrong and suggested couple counseling and all that he just brush me off like I was crazy. So to know the truth it hurt like hell. I kicked him out and told him to leave. Then later that afternoon I called him because it shouldn’t end that way and we should talk. He didn’t answer and I texted him. And no answer till 9pm he texted back and said that he is so sorry that he caused all this and that he loved us. I told him that at least it is out in the open and we can work on it. But he didn’t respond at all. And now it’s there next day. No call no text. Didn’t come home. And I didn’t contact him because maybe he needs time. Am I doing the right thing? Why am I the one hurting but also the one waiting？I don’t know what the truth is. Do I believe that he says he never met her in real life? And how serious are they? Talking for a year? And I am a super loyal person never cheated on anyone so I’m going crazy here. Can’t help but think about who he talks to and what made him choose her over me. I work, do house chores, take care of the girls and the dogs. And recently he have not been working so I got another job which is very stressful for me. Now this happens. And no one knows, I didn’t tell the kids. I just feel completely alone.
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