Unloving someone
It would really help if I can get some advice..
So I was in relationship with this amazing guy for 8 years. Same city, same caste, same educational background and same community. We felt like a match made in heaven. He loved me dearly like I'm a lost treasure. He cared for me like a mother. I always found myself lucky to have him..i dreamt of marrying him only every singke day of my life.
We started off when I was 20, he was 22. But soon after it, he stopped studying. Didn't pay much attention to his career, life. As a result he's still not holding a degree, still has a very low paying job which he started last year only. He was never stable with his jobs too. And soon after, he started to inflict self harm.
He would stab his head, neck, wrist to bleed, bang his head on the wall, pull his hairs out. It's like when he was angry, he was a different person, he would become so violent and aggressive that I was afraid. I was scared of his anger. He would make scene in front of people too, on road even.
I was the only one earning and supporting him too at later stage, still if I don't pick up my phone or am busy he would accuse me of cheating, he would always doubt me. But then he would apologise and love me tenderly again. He always put so much efforts towards me, supported me and showed his true genuine love.
I still left him.
Did I do right?
I feel like I could've hnged on their a little longer.
I feel terrible.
Now it's been 1 year already and he married someone else. Ans here I am.. lonely.
@turquoisePlum6945
Hi im sorry to hear that maybe you could have held on longer but ask yourself would you have been happy?
Yes you loved him but it sounds like he may not have felt the same he had you taking care of him and after ending an 8 year reladhionship he moves on in one
People change alot his behavior cant be excused with the past you cant use past behavior as a way of justofoyong hpw he was treating you and the way he so easy shifted moods
I hope you can forgive yourself fits not selfish to want to be happy
I think you did the right choice. If you don’t feel good in a relationship. Cut the connections. It’s not your duty to heal him or change his behaviors. Actually you can’t change someone if they don’t want to. It seems he is quite insecure and need therapy.
He definitely needs some help. If you were afraid of him I’d say you made the right choice leaving. Getting over a person you loved even if you ended it takes a while and in my case I doubted myself and blamed myself a lot. As times gone on though I know I’m happier without. I hope you feel better soon, I also had to let go of someone I loved but who changed for the worst, so I know it’s tough to say goodbye and the self doubt makes it even tougher. Many of us have more than one love in our lifetimes so don’t feel as though there’s no one else.
