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turquoisePlum6945
73,730 M Big Steps 5
PathStep 21 Compassion hearts1,188 Forum posts22 Forum upvotes14 Current upvotes14 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceOctober 29, 2021
Recent forum posts
Unloving someone
Relationship Stress / by turquoisePlum6945
Last post
 October 15th, 2022
...See more It would really help if I can get some advice.. So I was in relationship with this amazing guy for 8 years. Same city, same caste, same educational background and same community. We felt like a match made in heaven. He loved me dearly like I'm a lost treasure. He cared for me like a mother. I always found myself lucky to have him..i dreamt of marrying him only every singke day of my life. We started off when I was 20, he was 22. But soon after it, he stopped studying. Didn't pay much attention to his career, life. As a result he's still not holding a degree, still has a very low paying job which he started last year only. He was never stable with his jobs too. And soon after, he started to inflict self harm. He would stab his head, neck, wrist to bleed, bang his head on the wall, pull his hairs out. It's like when he was angry, he was a different person, he would become so violent and aggressive that I was afraid. I was scared of his anger. He would make scene in front of people too, on road even. I was the only one earning and supporting him too at later stage, still if I don't pick up my phone or am busy he would accuse me of cheating, he would always doubt me. But then he would apologise and love me tenderly again. He always put so much efforts towards me, supported me and showed his true genuine love. I still left him. Did I do right? I feel like I could've hnged on their a little longer. I feel terrible. Now it's been 1 year already and he married someone else. Ans here I am.. lonely.
Breakup and depression
Relationship Stress / by turquoisePlum6945
Last post
 February 2nd, 2022
...See more I'll try to be as brief as I can. I was into a relationship with my bf for 8 years. He basically love bombed me throughout and was always so good, kind, caring, supportive, loyal almost too good to be true. And because of this I couldn't take account of his anger which was extreme. He would break anything in his grip or stab himself with it. Whenever our fights escalated he would self harm as in stabbing himself till he bled, banging his head on the wall, beating himself, strangling his own neck, all to scare me and when I cry to stop him he would make scary faces with red eyes. Even over phone call he would make noise like he's hitting himself. Suicide threats were an everyday thing. And no one other than me knows thisbat all, I fact people think he doesn't know anger at all. I never back bitched about him to anyone so nobody knew. He was almost obsessed over me and didn't like me spending time anywhere else. He didn't complete his studies and has a very low paying job. I brokeup with him when he threatened to kill me and my family. But then he was apologizing and begged me to stay which I didn't listen to at all. He even tried to commit suicide but survived and within months he married someone else. I feel like a fool because I still can't move on. I miss him terribly each day. I feel like I couldn't save our relationship, I fel like a failure.
I ended a long relationship
Relationship Stress / by turquoisePlum6945
Last post
 November 15th, 2021
...See more So I was in a student with high ambitions. Went on to a big city for better education, where I met this guy (let's call him D) who was from my hometown and known to me. He helped me alot during my stay there which was 10 months, supported like a friend. My mom totally loved him (my father didn't however). After 10 months when I came back home (homesickness) as studies were available here too, he proposed to me. I denied (though I liked him too, but felt too overwhelmed). My mom convinced me into loving him back as he is a nice person and will keep me happy, our future would be good, etc. I accepted and started dating. I always believed that we will complete our studies and earn nicely then will get married. Let me tell u about him: He was dreamy, he did things that even books can't capture, made my the queen of his kingdom. My friends would get jealous of the things my boyfriend used to do for me. He made me his entire world, lost himself in the process, he stopped talking or hanging out with his friends, he left his friends infact. Stopped any activity which won't include me, used to call me for hours everyday, had nothing in his head other than me. It made me feel special but suffocating after some time. He almost stopped studying after we got together. Kept on worrying about me by being insecure in our relationship. He kept on failing exams and did not remorse. I decide to fail too to be not too ahead of him (as I was younger) and lost 2 years. He became more n more possesive and insecure, calling me constantly even on exam days. He didn't like me having any male friends, hanging a lot with people, having a celebrity crush, even male cousins. He started abusing him self in front of me, death threats if I leave him. I loved him to death so would never leave him anyways. I kept on consoling myself that he will get better once he accelerates in career but it never happened, neither did he make a career nor the insecurity decreased. All of my friends loved him and our relationship was ideal to everyone, the abuse part was always a secret and he was the sweetest person in front of the world. 8 years into the relationship, he got an entry level job after which his parents started making marriage pressure on us. My mom convinced my dad, took 6 months (I lied too to salvage his reputation) but he was never happy me marrying him who's not at par in terms of earning and status. I started having panic attacks, his family's intentions felt suspicious, I felt something is off. I took astrological help (don't judge me I was asking universe to give me a sign) got nothing but negative predictions like divorce and death if marriage happens. Too much to handle, I left him. I don't know if I did right or not. My heart betrays me and says he was the one for u and u won't find love again. HELP!
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