Struggling a year after breakup even though I've moved on.
Hey all this is my first post here so bare with me.
Basically I've had a bit if a rollercoaster 18 months or so. In May 2015 i separated from my wife having been together from school and lasted 16 years. Im now 32 have 2 children also. The split was fine and no real issues with this.
However 3 months later i met someone and it lasted 6 months before she ended it in Feb 2016. I was shocked and devastated and its really been like a first broken heart for me. I think she just lost feelings and it wasn't right for her plus she wanted more kids and I can't anymore. The first few months were tough and i rebounded which didnt help.
Anyway after a few months free i met someone in sept 2016 who i am still going strong 5 months later. She's a much better fit for me, very attractive, a kind heart and we still can talk to each other all night. I am also involved with her 3 children and they are great and we are talking of living together soon.
My problem is i seem to keep relapsing and having thoughts about this previous ex and attempting to reconcile when i know its highly unlikely to work plus i have someone better already. My head knows im in the right place but i can't seem to stop obsessive thoughts of how the ex is doing, how she feels and what it would be like uf i spoke to her. Very messed up when I've got someone better right now but the problem is I've not felt myself or happy since that breakup almost a year ago.
I feel i should have completely forgotten about her and moved on by now. I've had spells where its better and i am more accepting that its done but then i seem to relapse into other periods of wanting to fix an old wound thinking it would be different know as i have learnt lots from the last 12 months.
I just dont want to make a stupid mistake and let my thoughts win when i know they are serving no good and i should be giving gratitude for my present situation.