Still in love with you're ex? Nothing will ever be the same? Tell me about it..
Some of us are so in love that no matter how much time passes or how much pain they put you through, you will always have that feeling in you're heart that they are the only person for you. This is caused by YOU having some really bad insecurities OR being completely in love. Either way, it leads to an emotional breakdown every time you think about not being able to be with that person ever again.
Give a good reason why you're still in love OR why nothing will ever be the same with another relationship. The truth can hurt. No pain no gain. Recovery starts now. GO!!
For me, this was the first girl I ever truly loved. I've dated before but I never felt this way about anyone else. We moved in together, planned our future wedding...at the local aquarium, planned a honeymoon, and built a life together. We made plans for after college and named our future children. I fell asleep next to her and woke up every morning. You only get one first time with all of that. Even though we are done I still love her in some way. She affected my life and I do miss her
im sorry that it didn't work out the way you wished it did but the only thing to remember during the hard times is that you are not alone. You are right, you only get one chance with that type of 'true love' relationship because nothing will make you feel the way you used to feel unless its a really long time from now. Always remember to appreciate everything because one day you guys can sleep together and the next morning it could all be over
Sorry, just saw this but thank you. I'm at peace with everything now. I look back on those times and smile...I'm happy with a tinge of sadness if that makes sense. I hope she's happy doing whatever she's doing and whoever she's with. I'll always love the memories
I love my ex so much. Its been a year but my heart still hurts like it was yesterday. How do you move on? He has.
I know how you feel and im so sorry i wish i could tell you how to move on but when you are in love with someone it is not easy at all. You wish you could convince him to stay with you so that you could feel youre heart again but it wont happen right? I know you said he moved on but there is a reason he moved on and you should think positive and realize that he is the one who lost you not the other way around. If you messed up the relationship and that's why he left then you should reach out and tell him that you are sorry for being immature during the relationship (only if you STILL feel pain and guilt 1 year later). He moved on because he most likely wasnt in love. You are what they call lovesick and that is life just remember you arent alone. I really do hope that you find peace in youre heart and mind and understand that someone one day will love you the way you loved him.
@ivorymoon
Hi Ivory,
Moving on takes a different amount of time for everyone.. it can take a really long time for some of us. It sounds like you are frustrated that you still think about your ex, and that is ok, but know that we are here for you, if you ever want to talk about it. Moving on is not some easy task. We have to let go of that person we believed they were, we have to let go of the future that could have been, etc. It is so hard! I am so sorry you are going through this.. <3
I don't think I love my ex. But he did try to get back with me this summer and I tried too. I am broken all over again. I will never enter another relationship. I spent 12 years married to him .... I can't do it again with anyone. And every time I think about how he replaced me before the divorce was final and this time before we broke up... with another woman.... I knew he never loved me. It hurts. It hurts bad. And I'm broken all over again.
wow i am sorry to hear that. 12 years is a very long time. You must have had some type of love to keep it going for that long. Some type of connection that made you two feel unstoppable. I respect that you had a relationship for that long and I hope you DO find another guy that can be honest with you this time around. Because trust can really kill a relationship. There is always someone that will come into youre life and make you realize the actual meaning of love
This may not be relative to the topic at hand, although this does relate to the heartache of breaking up with your best friend/first love...unrequited love for 14 years.
At the time I never would've thought I'll be a lesbian. Until I met her...I was in denial and homophobic at the age of my pre-teens. Dated couple guys in high school to hide the truth that I was in love with my best friend Michelle.
I don't know why I was in love with her or even throught she would see me in that way. Through I think it was because she had the darkess childhood because of her medical condition that she'll have pain that almost cause her to harm herself. All I ever wanted was to make her happy and I just fell for her because the attention she gave me and the way she spoke to me made my heart sing.
She never returned my feelings, never acknowledge my own as well. She was oblivious to her own actions. She made me believe I had a chance with her and our friends and my sister noticed this...and they knew she was trouble for me. I was blinded by love. And every time I tried to talk to her about her jealousy of others close to me or signs of attraction; all I got from her was just silences...like I was talking to a wall.
I am still moving on from this lingering pain. Realizing that my wish did come true, all I ever wanted was her to be happy. And she is without me...
She's asexual aromantic. She doesn't want a relationship and may never have one. I respected her and supported her coming out asexual. As much as I tried to be there for her I realized it was a one sided friendship. We grew apart and it was the hardest for me to ever expect to let this friendship go.
We may reconnect in the future we may not who knows...
I adore love and I want to spread it around to anyone I meet. I am happy, loved, and respected of who I am. I do see my fears and I will overcome it in time. It pains me that I would never be close with Michelle anymore because I chose to let my love for her go and set her free. I'm still healing everyday and realizing that even though she had used and abused me I can thank her for showing me how to love unconditionally and find true love in the future.
It sounds like everyone else here is really struggling with their own problems which is definitely sad in it's own right. But it also makes me feel guilty about sharing my problems or maybe like i won't be heard. But I can't get out of bed today and I don't know what else to do. My exboyfriend and I dated on-and-off for three years and have been broken up for 18 months. We were the golden couple when we were together. We are both well-liked for different reasons and people loved seeing us happy together. I am still hopelessly in love with him and have yet to pinpoint why we're not together because I know he still has feelings for me as well. We've talked about it and even though I'm the one who wants him back, he's the one that made that stupid cliche proposal that if we're both still single by age 40, we'll get together again. I can't see any way of falling out of love with him and waiting till 40 while trying to keep an open mind to other possibilities just makes me dread the next 14 years. I know people say that the feelings will fade, but they haven't at all for 18 months, as much as I've just wanted to stop caring about him so I can stop hurting. I'm just stuck in this painful limbo, trying to be compassionate and understanding while he tries to figure out himself and his life. And I know how delusional and unhealthy this is to think, but honestly no one other than himself is better suited to help him with his problems than I am. We understand eachother on very deep levels. We even joke that its nearly a psychic connection. We share the same values and opinions. Even his friends think he doesn't deserve me, but he is all I want. I've spent the last year and a half bettering myself and keeping busy, but it's painful almost every step of the way. My friends don't have any advice that works. They're all frustrated with me (and for me) because I can't move on, but they also understand how real my feelings are and that I'm powerless to control them. I feel like I'm just burdening them when I talk about this because they feel frustrated seeing me in pain when they know they can't do anything to help. So I don't really have anyone left to talk to about this.
His reason for us not being together basically boils down to not being sure about whether i'm the right guy for him and wants us to field our other options before he commits to me. I want to respect that thinking especially because his critical mind is one of the things i admire most about him and I also ultimately want his happiness. But some days he's all I can think about. I've already worked through the realization that even if we did end up together again, that I might feel like he's settling for me. And somehow I really don't care. I just want to be able to hug him like I used to every time I see him.
I still see him at social things sometimes which is difficult, but just being near him is soothing, even as I silently suffer, and I can't deny that I seek it out. I know he understands all of this. At first he tried to keep his distance to try to help me move on, but now I'm pretty sure he knows that I know what I'm doing and putting myself in those painful situations where I'm near him is actually much better for me that dwelling on things on my own. He just makes it easier to breath. It's torture not to be able to reach out and touch him, but it's better than being miles away from him like I usually am nowadays. I also think he's been struggling to reconcile his stubborn decision to believe that there's someone out there that's maybe better for him on paper with the lingering feelings for me that he has despite himself. My heart jumps when he texts or emails. I can't help staring at him when we're in groups. When I see him with other guys, I feel like I've been punched in the gut, sometimes for days afterwards, even though I can tell instantly that they won't work out long term. I've thought a lot about my jealous feelings over the past year and a half, and I'm pretty confident that I'm not angry with him for being with other guys--instead it is painful because he never gives me that kind of attention which I crave so desperately.
I don't know what to do. I can't get over him and I don't really want to keep trying any more. I just need him in my life and not having him means constant pain and worry. I've gotten better at managing the anxiety attacks I get, but sometimes it's too much. Like today, where I'm just skipping work and trying not to cry or hyperventilate in bed, spiraling into guilt because of everything I should be doing instead. I feel like I need him in order to be happy. I'm desperately open to finding happiness in other places, but nothing so far has made me feel ok.
It hurts and I don't know what to do.
I've been in your spot before with my ex. I don't know how it is for you but I had to stop all contact in order to move on. The subconscious hope that we would get back together, seeing her with other guys, trying to be friends while I was in love with her was torture. The worst feeling I have ever experienced. I desperately wanted to hold on to something that wasn't there anymore. I had to let her go and she was my best friend. I felt broken but am slowly putting myself back together. Some people can be friends with their ex...I could not
It does seem that no one has the answer to this but yourself, but if it serves as a consolation, you are not alone feeling helplessly in love with someone who just can't bring himself to be around. It's hard to face each day, and it sure hurts to be reminded of him, but we've survived being apart, and we will continue to.
@PineSaul88 Hey there friend, look i know the pain you feel. It hurts soo much to go through day after day after day thinking if the other person is still in love or if they even want anything to do with you. When you have you're heart on the line and the other person knows it and you hopelessly look at you're phone every time you receive a call HOPING that its that one person in the whole world that could make everything better. I agree it is wayyy harder at some times than others i really know how that feels and the only way to make the crying stop is to call someone that you love and tell them how you feel. They will give you some helpful advice and you will subconciouesly feel better because at the moment you are emotional and un-rational.
There is a reason that it didn't work out with you two and you cant let that break you down. I know that its still going to be hard for you to breathe and function when you get emotional but when that starts to happen just STOP over thinking because over thinking causes problems that weren't even there to begin with.
If you hold on to false hope of being with that person you are setting yourself up for failure because what if that person has no intention with getting back together. I know at 40 you had that agreement but that is so long from now and you are not his rag to wait around for him to use you as a second option. Value yourself a little more and some of these things will get easier. I know nothing in the world can make you feel the way you used to but one day it will happen i promise, maybe soon or maybe in a few years but always stay strong because there's a lot of people that love you! <3
Well the 17th of this month, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me. He said he loved me, that i was the best thing that has happened to him in a long time,but that he needed to fix thing about himself. He said that I deserve 100 % because I gave it my all when I was with him. I love him, but I'm confused and I'm having trouble giving him space and dealing with my broke heart. I miss him and I wish he saw that I could be the support he needs right now, but he has made up his mind and I just hope he made the right decision for himself.
@faithfulSea6088 Im sorry for the break up you are going through it can be really hard at times.He broke up with you because he wants to be 100% just like you were with him, but what is stopping him from being 100%? If he loved you i don't think he would push you away like that. What does he need to fix about himself that you cant help him do? There should be no reason that he broke up with you because if there is love then everything can be solved. I think you should be careful and find out everything before you put you're emotions on the line again. You could be his support right now and im sure you have told him that so why has he rejected it. I know you are in love and you need him but the best thing you can do is not talk to him until he talks to you first. Do not beg for him or send him messages as hard as it might be
@Brok3nHeart I don't know, I went to go pick up my things from his apt, this past saturday, one day before our 7mth mark. His daughter said that she saw text messages between him and another girl and that he told that girl that his feelings for her grow and grow more each day. He denied cheating on me,but i believe he met this person before we broke up and wanted to get involved with this girl. After that saturday i stopped texting completely, and cut all contact with him until today. He messaged me saying he hoped that one day i would take him back and that he was sorry for what he has done to me and that maybe when the time is right i could give him a second, chance. This threw me off...i mean I hate that he has such a large hold of my emotions and he can make or break my day right now. I dont know how to move on. I just don't know anymore, i was finally feeling like i could breath, and smile and this just feels like i got pushed and trampled on again.
How yall doing my name is Andrew and me and my gf just broke up three days ago we been together since we were 19 and we are 24 now so 4 years anyways I love this girl with all my heart but I keep messing up like cheating and stuff I know what you are thinking why don't you just stop that's the problem I don't know why I keep going it we have a beautiful baby boy together and was thinking about moving in together but I cheated on her more then 10 times just talking to other people on the Internet and she complains about me being lazy and me not having to get up and go about myself and I just did the cheating again now I know what you're thinking you don't love her cuz if you did you wouldn't keep hurting her like that but I do she is everything that I always wanted in a girl it's like now she go out and hang with her male friend til 2:40am and I know I cant get mad cause I did my dirt but I noticed at night that I be shaking and breathing really heavy and it's like if she touch me I'll just jump like it's crazy as hell but I need to know what dose this mean
@E9191 It means that you were immature and you didn't have you're priorities straight. But that doesn't mean you can make things better. Just stop cheating and figure out a way to get her trust back. Or you can keep talking to other girls who don't have any emotions impact on you. Goodluck bro
So the thing is.... That my friend proposed to me about 2 months ago... He seemed really serious about me. I hadn't accepted his proposal, but things changed.... My feelings for him.. Changed with time... I fell for him... And he realized that... The whole problem was that his best friend... Whom he really loves... And whom he 'had' loved for 3 years..(one sided).. . Is possessive about him(the girl is) ... He tries to move on, but she pulls him to herself. The thing is.. He had kept our relationship a secret from her.. Our relationship grew... We hugged.... We kissed.. But then when she found out that we were seeing each other.. She made a chaos out of it.... And this is why.. He called it off today. He told, he has to sacrifice me. Now... The thing that hurts more is, he can sacrifice me so easily? .. I mean, they're best friends for like 11 years.... But she doesn't love him back. And when she doesn't love him back... I don't understand why doesn't she let him move on... She always makes a chaos even when he becomes friends with a girl... She is just too possessive about him. And the whole scenario now is that since he has to sacrifice me for friendship, he test that let his best friend be his first and last love. And that hurts.... All these worth nothing?
It's beenat least four years since i had my heart crushed. It was a terrible experience. Together one day, not interested the next. No text, no call, no discussion. She assumed i wasn't interested when i was completely the opposite.
A year after it happened i went to therapy and was diagnosed with dysthymia, which without proper knowledge i can see why she would assume i didnt care.
Fast forward to today. I believe ive mostly healed from the experience, but the scars still run deep and find my self on occasion still missing her and wishing it turned out better.
My ex boyfriend was incredible. He was caring, taught me how to deal with my anxiety and depression and was just flawless in every possible way. All of my friends ask me "what do you see in him? He's not attractive, he looks overweight and he's got a weird style." Just because I look like an average girl doesn't mean I'm going to go for the stereotype guy. His looks to me were perfect. I love the way he always dyes his mohican bright vibrant colours like blue or bleach blonde or red. I love his peircings, and I love the way he wears oversized band shirts because he is obsessed with his music! I love the fact that he's so passionate and super cuddly so every time I got into bed with him I'd fall asleep instantly lying on his chest. He has a stone hard act in front of his friends but he also taught me how to be like that too which has helped me so much. When we were alone I'd love the way he'd randomly come and cuddle me or just lean over randomly in the middle of doing something to kiss me on the forehead. I'd love the way that every time I felt insecure or unsafe he'd place his hands on my face and pull me in close and tell me that he's there for me and hugs me tight. I want him back so bad... He said he wasn't ready for a relationship right now. I really hope he still loves me.
