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road2smiles
1,692 M Little Steps 6
PathStep 88 Compassion hearts37 Forum posts23 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2018 Member sinceSeptember 20, 2015
Bio
I am trying to find my new happy. I was divorced in 2014. About a year later, my ex tried to reconnect with me and I fell for it. He lied and cheated again.... I feel like a fool and like I did right after moving out nearly 2 years ago. I had come a long way and I feel back to square one.
Recent forum posts
How long is this going to take?
Trauma Support / by road2smiles
Last post
 July 13th, 2017
...See more I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 12 years. The abuse started before that and there were red flags, but I was young and didn't see it as such. I moved out and divorced him 3 years ago. He raked me over the coals in the divorce and I had a shitty lawyer. Almost 3 years later... and here I am.... having anxiety daily. Flipping out at his lies and his hateful words. I still have to deal with him as we are trying to sell out marital home and we have some debt from the marriage we are paying off together. And he's started some old habits with me. Lying in a "funny" way and then when he says "I was just pulling your chain" I'm supposed to laugh. When I tell him it's not funny he says I never used to take life so seriously. I told him it was never funny back than and was belittling and made me feel very stupid. My son did the same thing the other day and it yanked me back to the bad-old-days and I asked him never to do that to me again. So now I have to learn to deal with these "joking lies". I can't trust a word out of his mouth and he's consistently late with his half of the debt payment. In the marriage, I beleived him when he said I was too sensitive and felt it was my fault for not finding these jokes funny. I know better now. Does this ever end? By the end of 2017 I should really have no contact with him other than anything big with our son (he's an adult) but it's just wearing me out. I'm seeing a therapist and she's helping but this joking lie crap is coming back and I hadn't talked to her about it because he hasn't been doing that for years. I want to go home and curl up under my bed.
crazy making...
Relationship Stress / by road2smiles
Last post
 October 5th, 2015
...See more My ex is a pro crazy-maker. I know he's doing it to me, yet it still drives me crazy! In our divorce decree, it states we each have to pay 1/2 of a certain debt. It's a monthly payment. This month he decided not to put his half of the money in our joint account. So the account went negative and there was a NSF bank fee as well. I let him know via email that he ows money to joint. He wrote back last night and said "wrong" and not a word since. I have a month til the next debt payment... so I can sit on this for a month, but I'll seriously go insane by then. Yes, I know he did it to piss me off and yes, it still pisses me off. Does anyone know what I can do about this legally? How do you guys deal with stuff like this? I can't focus at work.. I'm going NUTS here!
Ex knows he can cause a panic attack....
Relationship Stress / by road2smiles
Last post
 October 9th, 2015
...See more ... and he does it over and over and over. Had a panic attack last night thanks to him poking my buttons. It is so hard to deal with him. He is going to foreclose on the house he's been living in for almost 2 years rent free. And he's going to do it out of spite. He did mention having the loan put in his name only since he can afford the house... but now he's going to foreclose because he wants to make me panic over possible wage garnishment. Trying to let it go and wash my hands of giving a damn.
How to recover... again....
Relationship Stress / by road2smiles
Last post
 September 21st, 2015
...See more I let him suck me back in. I believed he had changed as he promised he did. I mean, who would promise such changes if he didn't think he needed to change those things?? My ex, that's who! He put on the charm, told me all he did wrong in our 12 year marriage and too me throwing at him other things he did wrong that he hadn't thought of. Then when it seemed I wasn't going to trust him again with the snap of his fingers, he started lying and cheating again. Now he ows me a few grand (stupid, why did I do that!?) and I'm stuck having to play his mental games to get it back. I have to play nice and play his games until I get my money. How long will he drag this out. I feel like a moron for believing he had changed. My old therapist who helped me through the divorce, my family and my friends.... they all knew it wasn't true. But I had to try. And now he's replace me again like I never mattered and stating he never lied and never cheated even when I have proof. And I'm left alone... trying to figure how to recever ... again.....
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