Should I tell him?
My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me a little over 3 weeks ago. We are still “friends” and I’m best friends with his sister. so I still see him every day even though I don’t live with him anymore. He had a very close family member pass away in December and it really changed him. We’d been basically a power couple before that. He always had anger issues but he never hurt me and I always made it a point to let him know that I knew he didn’t mean to yell over small things. I knew that he was just angry in the moment and that it would pass. He said he didn’t want to hurt me anymore, but it was getting better every day. I know it’s personal issues that drove him away but I thought we were so much closer than that. That he knew he could come to me with anything. We trusted each other more than I’d ever trusted anyone, including my parents. I spent so much time trying to help him and make him happy that I just don’t understand why he thought we couldn’t make it. He even said when we broke up that I was an amazing girlfriend and that he could never not love me so. I want to tell him that I’m still waiting for him, that I still want him back, and that my feelings never changed. But I don’t know if I should. I get needing space but there was a time that we refused to be apart from each other because life was so much better together. We promised to be together forever. I can’t let him go. And I don’t know what to do. I miss my partner
Hi @Emily309
That sounds so heartbreaking... How are you now?
I’m. Still sad. I still get the feeling that he needs me. I feel like I’m being kept at arms distance. I still don’t really know why. I still hope we get back together
@Emily309
I would be sad too in your place...
If you were to comfort a close friend who is in your place, what would you say to her?
Hi @Emily309,
first of all, you seem to have a heart of gold, understanding your former boyfriend, who is still your friend by the way. That he is still your friend says a lot to me about you and about him. There seems to be a lot, sincere, mutual respect. Having said that, I can relate to your story. I can get very angry (working on that) and say things I don't mean. It could be that your ex simply doesn't want to hurt you with the pain he's dealing with. If so, he has my fullest respect. Pain can do a lot to you, it can change you, up to the point you destroy everything you don't want to. A pain so great that you can't control it anymore. I've been there, and I've done serious damage. And my wife stuck around, our marriage is no more, and she wants to try to start from scratch. I feel the same love between you two. How about writing him a letter from your heart, no fuzzy hearts, no dandy card, just a plain, simple letter. You know excatly what to write. Take care.
I hope that you start feeling better soon. I have been through many break ups before and my advice to you would be to stop seeing him for a while. It just hurts too much to see someone that you would give anything to help so close, but no longer our partner. Maybe right now you are hoping that being present in his life every day will make him realize how important you are to him, but I bet that you are also hurting yourself and you are not moving on. Think of yourself: it's really important. Helping someone else is not a basis for a love relationship between two equals and you cannot heal someone else's pain from them.