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Losing Twice As Much

SourPatchKidd87 May 9th, 2016
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I have been friends with my ex for 5 years. She recently confessed her feelings for me I from the beginning told her I wasn't mentally in the right place to be in a relationship and I had a few things I wanted to have handled before I pursued a relationship. She said she understood but once she admitted she was in love with me she started to show she was and it was almost like she did everything to make me fall in love with her. I still wasn't in the place I wanted to be so I still couldn't commit and it hurt her. I also dealt with a very difficult family issue and I shut down emotionally which also hurt her. She ended up leaving me. Said she wants all of me when I'm ready. But she already is dealing with somebody new and says she likes them but won't be with them because she's in love with me. But she already is sexual with them. I haven't been with anybody since we started having sex. I feel like I should leave her alone to be happy with her new person. She still tells me she loves me. Leaves love songs on my voicemail. Tells me and others she wants to marry me. I don't understand how she could move on so fast and still want me and these things. I blocked her calls and texts. Deactivated my social media I cant see her with someone else. I feel like I lost my friend and my love. I don't know what to do. Please help.

3
DeborahUK May 9th, 2016
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@SourPatchKidd87

Oh my goodness, that truly is both confusing and painful. Her words seem to say one thing, and her actions another.

Do you know with certainty that she's being sexual with this new person? Having been friends for five years, do you feel able to talk to her, to describe your confusion and hurt at her words and actions? Maybe she too has felt hurt and confused by how you've been with her? You say you weren't sure you were ready for a relationship. That doesn't excuse her behaviour, but maybe it goes some way to explaining it.

Whatever the outcome, please be assured that this pain will fade in time. Whilst it's understandable you can't cope with seeing her with someone else right now, these feelings do get easier. In time you may be able to forgive her for her actions, and reclaim your friendship. I'm so sorry you're having to cope with this situation - look after you.

SourPatchKidd87 OP May 9th, 2016
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Yes I'm sure. I want her to be happy so half me wants to just let go and be happy with someone else. But I am in love with her and I want to be with her. Just when I'm ready so I can be in a better place to love her correctly. I know I should let her be but I can't lose everything. This is the hardest thing ever. I cry every night. @DeborahUK

DeborahUK May 9th, 2016
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@SourPatchKidd87

I really am so sorry. I wish I could make things better for you - sadly that will take time.

If it helps to talk, please feel free to contact me.

http://www.7cups.com/12726490